Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The winter of my discontent.



Intermittent telephone and internet problems which Bob, the Bell repairman, has tried to fix a few times now. He's back again today. He's like an old friend.

How does he remain cheerful in the face of a biting blizzard of ice pellets hitting his face. Outside, wearing mitts as he splices narrow gauge wires and bits of plastic as I hobble around indoors, still in pyjamas and robe.

I feel proud I managed to offload and then reload the dishwasher. Everything is a remarkable effort in the jabs of pain crawling up and down my spine. Stoic I am not. My pain threshold is very low. I learned that in childbirth.

I do a tally in my fingers. My BFF dying so horribly, leaving me bottled up with grief and heartbreak.

My chimney fire, still unresolved, still waiting for parts for the chimney and for the weather to stabilize to let the repair guys on the roof.

Even though I don't heat most of my rooms, my electricity bills are high enough to leave me a little breathless each time they pop into my email for normally the wood stove heats the house.

I try and balance all this off with the positives, a series of workshops I'll be conducting on memoir writing with a publish at the end of it, my new musical drama back on track (we think – casting out here on the Edge is always a challenge) and private software training sessions. And knitting. And reading. And writing.

And somehow, it's not enough.

You can call me a whinebag.

I won't mind.

In fact, you can join me.

Perennially cheerful doesn't cut it today.

8 comments:

  1. If you want perennially cheerful don’t come to me. Ever. Nothing worse than a grinning, wide-eyed, toothy ‘look on the bright side’ moron for me.

    It’s a bugger, I hope all will be well again soon.

    PS: do you do your memoir workshop online, by any chance? I’d love a seat at your feet.

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  2. Everything Friko has said including the PS. xx

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  3. Getting old sucks but unless we decide to jump off a cliff, we just have to hang on. And you are still hanging.

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  4. I am right there with you...
    ct scan yesterday
    and now meeting with doctor
    to see exactly what is going on.
    Whatever it is
    will accept
    and just go forward....
    You take care

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  5. Hey! Imagine if we were satisfied, without angst and felt we were good enough just as we are. Hell, we could sit down, put up our feet and have a long long self satisfied coffee and never accomplish a damn thing to leave behind! Here is to Angst!! Happy coping Wise.

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  6. Will we be able to read your memoir? I love memoirs.

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  7. A whinebag. Never heard that, but I like it.

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  8. Okay, since you insist, I will call you one, but don't expect me to join you. I have my own whines to occupy me.

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