Thursday, November 26, 2015
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with people's kindness. Today, and I hope all days, I will notice and be grateful.
In the last few minutes, an acquaintance, a boat captain, dropped off a passel of freshly caught cod.
After lunch at a friend's today, she gifted me with fresh limes, more cod, moose and my dinner for later.
Then my cousin called from Ireland, it was "free calls to Canada" day on her service.
And it looks like my two person play is going to fly with wings now and play here and maybe Ireland in the fall of next year.
I feel like I'm coming out of an awful, stumbling, numbing fog. I haven't shared a lot of it here as, seriously, I thought I was losing my mind along with my health. I can't thank my grief therapist enough. My treatment is ongoing and his assistance in my process is invaluable. It's far from over. It's almost like I have to reinvent myself and focus more, much more, on my existing support network and forcibly interact at a level I'm comfortable with, with those who care for my wellbeing. For a gregarious loner like me that can be a bit of a mountain but I'll put on the climbing boots. I was making streams of excuses about old friends being far better than new friends, why invest time in new friends when they could drop off the face of the earth too, blah-blah. And no joint history doncha know. I'm awfully good at shopping from the excuses wagon.
As the man said, I had lost all trust in myself and now it's filtering through.
Being present. Meditating. Suiting up and showing up. All is beginning to feel well.