Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Covetousness


It's a sin, that coveting business. Neighbour's wife, neighbour's goods. Those ten commandments never did mention neighbour's husband though, did they. I guess it was assumed women weren't capable of coveting. I remember, being the awkward one with awkward questions all the time about everything, asking one of the holy nuns who were married to Holy God Himself, (the world's most prolific polygamist of all time) why couldn't women covet. At times I just got vicious, shrivelling, silent, mean looks when asking awkward questions. That was one of those times.

Anyway. Today. I toddled into Home Hardware desperately in need of a pair of sawhorses. More on that later. No, it's not for what you think. And if you could believe, they had one sawhorse. One. I was outraged. What the eff good is one sawhorse to anyone? I didn't keep this thought to myself. It was a cranky day for me so I collared the store manager and demanded an answer - see above re awkward questions. Why? said I imperiously. What good is one sawhorse to anyone? He scratched his head and mumbled something about one could break, it could be a replacement. I harrumphed and noted I sounded just like my father when foiled by stupid sales managers who should know better than to have one of something that should be presented as a pair.

So in the midst of my high dudgeon march as I left the store in the foyer I spotted this:


And I just about fell to my knees in adoration. And I was enveloped in a cloud of Satan's helpers whispering in my ear "and you thought you were way above coveting anyone and everything? - Ha!"

And I whimpered as I stroked this magnificent beast and imagined the soda bread hot out of its oven, plates warming in the high rack, the cast iron pots and pans on its ready range top. And its heat leaking into all my old drafty rooms.

I must be alive. Sinning feels almighty good.

27 comments:

  1. LOL! I take it the beautiful beast got left at the store???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah E - if only I could have afforded it! I would have towed it all the way home, LOL.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  2. Nuns seem so godawful mean sometimes! Why on earth would they mind an innocent question from a child?

    (I just watched Philomena last night so I'm feeling very anti-nun at the moment!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was so rigid back in the "good old days" Jennifer. We were like parrots reciting the brainwashing and not allowed to question a thing.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  3. Right there with you
    and if I was 20 years younger
    would drag it home or help you...
    I remember my grandmother's wood stove
    and still in my heart
    miss my wood burning fireplace.
    If I came into a windfall
    this is the first I would have built
    a huge stone wood burning fireplace
    hire someone to fill it and clean up :)
    also a full time gardener to tend the garden
    I can no longer have.

    I dream big...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dream big too OWJ - without our dreams we are nothing. I just fell in love with this stove and passed the link on to a friend who can afford it so we'll live vicariously through her for now :)
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  4. The Book and religion was created by men. That explains a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah the patriarchy - in my mind it explains everything, Fred. Even today. Though I sure hope our new Canadian government is beginning to start on the huge pile of corrections that need to be made to our misogynistic systems.
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  5. I wasn't Catholic growing up, but I asked inconvenient questions, too, such as why the baboon's bottom was red and swollen when we visited the zoo. I still remember the shame I felt as my father sent me one of those looks that let me know I'd asked the wrong question and hurried all of us away from the baboons, as if I might somehow contaminate the younger siblings by asking shameful questions. I can still remember that alternating heat and cold I felt flushing my face as I realized I'd done something wrong. Now I feel a bit of sympathy for my poor hapless dad who had grown up in an era in which procreation was not discussed. But, wouldn't it just have been simpler to say that's how the female signals that she wants to have a baby or something else age appropriate and then casually moved on? I was young enough that I had seriously thought she had red balloons attached to her, and I just couldn't figure out why that would be done or why it was shameful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know Linda. Parents & elders just couldn't cope with anything sexual in tone. And awkward questions usually involved that kind of connotation. Made us suspicious and ashamed at the same time. Not to mention curious. I looked up a lot of stuff in the library.
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  6. Awkward questions sometimes elicited responses filled with euphemisms for naming words that couldn't be spoken aloud. Then we entered health class or science class and began decipher all this lingo prompting many self-conscious blushes and snickers. Ah, yes, the public library for clarification.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In health class in my time we never learned anything, no wonder so many of us got pregnant, Joared. Maybe that was the intent!

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  7. I've never had any scruples about coveting things, but it doesn't happen that often - I'm very happy with what I already have. But one thing I regularly covet is beautiful paintings or sculpture. Unfortunately they usually cost an arm and a leg so I never get to buy them.

    Sawhorses? I wouldn't know anything about them, I've never shown much talent as a handyman. I tend to wreck things rather than repair them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never covet, so this was a shock to me, Nick. I almost cried. I do have a woodstove but it's small and rather elderly and doesn't have any of the gorgeous features on this baby.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  8. back again :)
    oh yes
    I have always dreamed big
    someone commented to me years ago
    I could not dream big if I could not have it
    Not me
    I love dreaming big
    whether it happens or not :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why not Ernestine? I'm with you. Dreams don't have to realized but we have to have them!
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  9. Go forth and sin! You are alive and kicking indeed. And here is something about being married to God!

    An elderly gay man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery...

    He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

    "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
    He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
    The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
    He replied, "No money in the bank."
    "Don't you have a spouse who can pay the bill?" the nun asked.
    "No spouse," gasped the old man, "you would never let me get married!" And the nun glared at him...
    "Do you have another relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
    He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
    Now the nun became really agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
    The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh how I love a woodstove!
    And always dream that "someday" I might have one again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dream on and it will happen for you SJG!

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  11. So horribly, I have the scene from a movie in my head, about similar things....the voice over lying of the scene is saying "...so Clarice. How do we begin to covet? No, that's incorrect. We begin by seeing what is around us, everyday. What do your eyes see, Clarice?..."
    Heh....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SFM:
      I loved that movie. I shouldn't. But I did. :)

      Yes, I guess now I can relate.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  12. We had one back at home, a big shiny beast that took ages to come alive when mum had let it go out overnight. Funny, but that makes me feel homesick all of a sudden.

    I was lucky, I belonged to the red (communist) faction of the family not the black (catholic) side. All my questions rarely ever arose and when they did they were answered with a polemic.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A great diversion from the RE cult the Friko. A school mate's father was a commie and as a result we were all forbidden to go to her home as we would get corrupted. And they talk about the Taliban!

    Your mum might have had all out Aga or similar?

    XO
    WWW

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, I covet that oven! My dream kitchen has a range (either gas or coal fired). I did see a disused range when on holiday earlier this year and spent a good few minutes seriously trying to work out how to smuggle it home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know Jo, I've spotted them too and longed for a truck and a pair of musclebound peeps to lift it on board!

      XO
      WWW

      Delete

Some of you are having trouble, I've removed captcha and verification so we'll see how that goes. My apologies. Blogger is putting up far too many roadblocks. Thanks for the emails alerting me.
wisewebwomanatgmail.com