Sunday, November 15, 2015

Kindness


Kindness takes many forms, doesn't it? And I can miss it. It gallops by sometimes when I am focussing on past unkindness, the sort that slaps you in the face from loved ones, trusted loved ones.

So awareness. A long time ago, a cousin mailed me a treasured book on awareness. The waking up to spirit, to the world around, to truth, to reality. I open it now and again and reflect on its messages.

Awareness to kindness. Not taking for granted even the smallest act or loving words. To really see and savour.

My washing machine is on the blink. It can manage small loads but not sheets and towels. It gets overwhelmed and won't spin. It galls me that it is only 6 years old, purchased with a legacy from an aunt. And I already spent ill-afforded cash on a repairman who couldn't fix it but had to charge me for his time. So as I save up for another, Daughter takes my sheets and towels. Very kind, you think. But more than that, and this brings me to tears: every single item is folded so neatly and perfectly and put into cardboard boxes so they stay that way. You have to know that Daughter is not a folder. I am and Other Daughter is. I'm talking sheets, pillowcases, towels. Folded perfectly by a non-folder. Kindness.

And Friend. I can't count the number of times she's dropped off tasty soups, stews, muffins and a book along with loving words and cheery predictions about life once I get back into the saddle of it but take all the time I want.

And others who assure me: "I know what you're going through. I've been there."

I posted this on my BFF's FB memory page today. One of her daughters is now the head off her - as we say back home - so much so that my heart skips a beat when I see her photos. That is the legacy for some, the faces of their mothers or fathers on them to light a candle of hope or elicit a cry of anguish for the observer depending on the day that's in it.




20 comments:

  1. People are very good and kind, given half a chance.

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    1. It never ceases to amaze me S JG. There is far more kindness in the world than unkindness.
      I am paying far more attention.
      XO
      WWW

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  2. The little things are what appeal to me... holding a door open for me, is one I always appreciate.

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    1. Or letting me go ahead of them in the grocery line queue when I've only got 1 or 2 items. I always now do that as well.
      XO
      WWW

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  3. I know what you mean. I appreciate small kind acts, too. I felt happy to read about your daughter's kindness, to do for you what she knows you will notice and really appreciate. It's a blessing of kindness. Nancy

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    1. They mean so much more the older I get Nancy. And I find it harder to articulate my gratitude. Odd that.
      XO
      WWW

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  4. I regret that I cannot supply washing machine repair, hot stew or muffins, but this post reminded me of a poem by Naomi Shahib Nye:

    Kindness

    Kindness
    Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things,
    feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth.
    What you held in your hand,
    what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know
    how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness.
    How you ride and ride
    thinking the bus will never stop,
    the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the window forever.
    Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness, you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road.
    You must see how this could be you,
    how he too was someone
    who journeyed through the night with plans
    and the simple breath that kept him alive.
    Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow.
    You must speak to it till your voice catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth.
    Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
    only kindness that ties your shoes
    and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread, only kindness that raises its head
    from the crowd of the world to say
    it is I you have been looking for,
    and then goes with you everywhere
    like a shadow or a friend.
    "Kindness" by Naomi Shihab Nye, from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems. © Eighth Mountain Press, 1995.

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    1. Beautiful E. Thank you. Sorrow and kindness are twins for sure. Kindness is far more poignant in grief perhaps.
      XO
      WWW

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  5. I have been grieving for the past more than six years and it does not look as though I will ever stop because someone or the other touched by the one I grieve for comes back into my life at regular intervals to remind me of the many kindnesses that was spread around like an unforgettable fragrance. Kindness has that effect and when you have grieving to accompany that phenomenon, it is a permanent feature of one's life.

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    1. Yes it never leaves us and kindness doesn't either and I'd like some way of entwining the two Ramana right inside my heart.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. I visit for my morning inspiration
    Kindness
    what would we do without it.
    I am not in a good place
    with cortison shots in shoulders 2 weeks ago
    and now high dose of prednisoe pills.
    So many side affects.
    But moving on and healing is coming :)
    Will be sharing in a few days.
    Take care and yes
    this one understands
    and if she was near
    a hug, cup of tea with something I bake
    it all helps...

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    1. I know you would Ernestine, and I would love to live geographically closer to you as you are another twin. But we are fortunate to live in the virtual world with each other - I do hope your health improves I know you are plagued with these setbacks and hardships to your wellbeing.
      XO
      WWW

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  7. Sometimes these small acts of kindness are so healing and give us hope when we most need it. That sounds trite, so easily reeled off, but I, too, have experienced more moments of small kindnesses as this autoimmune illness quickly turns me from a woman jogging around town into a woman hobbling around with a cane.

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    1. Linda, life can change in a heartbeat, I've seen it over and over again. More often than not, I have to force myself to stay in the moment and savour it.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. Very lovely post, WWW. Kindness given to those we love, care about or to a perfect stranger can be very strong medicine with wonderful side effects for both the giver and the receiver.

    The photo with the grieving girl and those beautiful words are true...so very true. I am now the eldest in our family at sixty-nine. There are no more living aunts or uncles. No more living grandparents. No more living parents. Our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, now look to my husband and me for the things that we used to look for from the older generation~

    I am new to your blog and enjoying very much...
    Jan

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    1. I have one elderly uncle, into his nineties now, Jan so I'm it as well. Croning happened very quickly, far too quickly. Though I am no fount of wisdom and often seek advice from much younger humans :)

      Thank you for your kind words :)

      XO
      WWW

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  9. Good Morning!
    I have just happened upon your blog and first of all I would like to thank you for blogging. Last year I gifted myself a month in Newfoundland and I am trying to move all my forces so I can get back and hopefully move there. I like what you said about it picking you, It does feel that way. I would love to email you if you would . care to share the does and don'ts of moving to Newfoundland. One of my blogs is:
    https://doorsinthesky.wordpress.com/2015/02/11/art-challenge-takes-me-down-a-different-road/

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    1. Tamaya I will email you. I totally get what happened to you. It's a visceral thing this Newfoundland hold on the spirit, it just doesn't let go.

      XO
      WWW

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  10. Revisiting this post for the quote. Similar words were spoken by the priest at mass today for a young man who tragically lost his life this week. His mother and I are old friends and I am at a loss for words. There is no manual for times such as this.

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    1. I am so sorry to hear that Sharon, young people dying out of their time is so heartbreaking. How can anyone recover? Picking up the broken pieces is a gargantuan task. Special hugs!
      XO
      WWW

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