Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Invisible


It's official. I'm finally invisible. It took a while. Some tell me it happened to them when they turned some rancid corner in their mid-fifties. Some complain of it even when they're in their forties.

Well it happened to me yesterday. And it was painful. And I fought it every damn inch of the way. I'll refresh your memory of this dark and hopeless day in November. Yes, November 2010. It has taken over 4 months for the mess on my head to sort itself out. The scrabble of kinda hair at the back of my head lengthened once again (it was traumatized) and the black started to fade and I decided to let my grey or whatevers start rolling in. Au naturel pour moi. I chopped the side burns (long, dangly) at the side of my face a few times and twisted the other bits into things at the back of my head. I know, I speak like my hair was a rather large forest of mixed plantings but that's what it felt like.

So I toddle off to a new hair-stylist yesterday and let the whole mess down off my head, it is a little bit of a shock. I expected commiseration, laughter, even a snicker. But nothing from the bored gum-snapping ten year old hairdresser behind me.

"I have a bit of a mess here?" I say, smiling.

"What do you want done?"

"Well, I normally wear it like so, I hate it on my face, so if you could clean it up, even it out and recommend some sort of transition rinse while I let my natural colour roll in?"

"Don't know nothin' about that trans word. You want colour or not."

"No, no colour, but a rinse to harmonize...."

"Don't do what you call rinse," she snaps gum 2,000 times in irritation.

"Okay then. Just don't cut the back, it's growing in after 4 months, but cut everything else to match it, shame you don't have a rinse. I must be the only senior in Newfoundland, ha-ha?"

Silence, snip, clip, snip, clip. Snap gum.

"I like your hair colour, reminds me of my granddaughter's hair."

Silence.

"Is it natural?"

"No."

"It's a really nice colour."

Silence. She measures my hair carefully. Never meets my eyes in the mirror.

"I can hardly wait to have you fix up the terrible cut and colour I got the last time. Oh right, I'm stuck with piebald."

"You're not bald."

"I meant I'm stuck with the two-colour grow out."

"So now you want it coloured?" appalled silence, gum snapping ceases.

"No."

She dries my hair, I ask her to replace the barrette at the back. She sighs and deliberately twists it very tight. I know this as I see her face in the mirror as she does it.

She charges me too much. I tell her to give me the senior price. Huge, earth shaking, my-boyfriend-just-broke-up-with-me sigh as she redoes the bill.

I give her a $2.00 tip - a bit on the smallish side for me.

And you know why?

It's one of the best haircuts I ever had.

20 comments:

  1. I was going to say you aren't invisible, you're hair dresser is just an idiot. However, if it's the best haircut you've ever had, she's not an idiot and you can put up with her.

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  2. Oh the price we pay for a good haircut! There's an excellent sci-fi story called 'The Women Men Don't See' about invisibility; I read it a long time ago and it was my first introduction to the concept of invisibility. It can be frustrating and humiliating, but it has its up side too. You can get away with stuff that visible people can't.

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  3. You obviously always need to go back to that girl. Did you get her name? Pretty soon you won't be invisible to her anymore. You need a regular hairdresser.

    Men only look at me from a distance, when they get closer, they lose interest. I become invisible. It doesn't matter. I like being a sexless object. I don't have to worry about such things as lust.

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  4. Marcia:
    I will continue to use her and let silence reign mighty between us!
    Annie:
    Oh I would love to read that story, maybe I can find it on the web?
    Nora:
    Oh I don't even register with men, Nora, though I must say at a conference today I did hang out with a gorgeous, tall blonde 40 year old male for a while (very much his choice as he sat down beside me)now and again the exception breaks the rule which is delightful.
    XO
    WWW

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  5. So why give her such a mean tip if it was the best hair cut you ever had?

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  6. Good story. Well told, well written. Hate that kid hairdresser, would have crunched down the tip myself, and love her for you.

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  7. The hairdresser is one place I'm glad to be a guy and I can just say "Fairly short, please." It's a lot cheaper too.

    People who're skilled but rude are a perennial problem. Usually the skill wins out and I stick with them.

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  8. Anon:
    Why do I tip? I tip for a combination of politeness/respect, attitude, skill and service. On my rating she only had 'skill' so I quartered her potential tip.
    Edge:
    Well I don't 'hate' her I felt an immeasurable pity for her and her life that makes her so miserable and disengaged and I'd say poverty stricken if she's like this with everyone.
    Nick:
    Skill is a great gift, she was excellent at what she did, shame she was so short in the other departments as she would go very far in life.
    XO
    WWW

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  9. Perhaps you will be a good influence on her. A little praise goes a long way and if you tell her it was the best haircut you ever got she might just do a repeat performance ;)

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  10. Pauline:
    good idea! I truly believe that people who behave as she does have the lowest self-esteem.
    XO
    WWW

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  11. Ditto to Pauline. Methinks a teaching moment/mentoring moment may have wandered into your boring, non-involved life! LOL

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  12. I have so little hair left on top that the barber wants more just to locate and cut the hair that needs to be cut! He also insists on wearing dark glasses as he says that the light reflects off my top and the glare bothers him.

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  13. next time just bring a magazine or good book and let her do her magic :D and i think you could be a good influence too. On time, at a check out of our grocery store the cashier seem to be in a particular bad mood..didn't acknowledge my HI, tossed my groceries in a bag like there was no tomorrow and didn't thank me. So i told her i hope her day would get better and to cheer up LOL, Should have seen her face ;)

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  14. Veep:
    I shouldn't ignore these opportunities, should I? I think my absolutely stultifying life is affecting me!
    Ramana:
    What was that about bald men being so sexy?
    Twain:
    Funny you should say that. I bring all my own cloth bags to my Sobeys and last time I was there, the clerk was amazing (they usually complain about cloth bags) and sorted all the groceries properly into the bags. I thanked her and said she was DA BEST EVAH and she glowed. I could tell I made her day.
    XO
    WWW

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  15. A good haircut makes us feel so good and life simple. I dread the day my hairdresser stops working.

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  16. GM:
    You said it! I wish I could cut my own as I hate any kind of time spent on "girly" stuff and always did (mans/peds/cuts/waxing/etc).
    A good haircut is great!
    XO
    WWW

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  17. Glad to hear you had a happy outcome after all that.

    Have you considered going multi-tonal?

    Makes hair look stylish and youthful and also thicker-looking if that's an issue.

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  18. All it takes is one good hairdresser and you'll change your mind. Then hang on to her forever like I do. You'll love that 'girly' part.

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  19. Laura:
    That sounds interesting, never heard of the term, all different colours I presume?
    XO
    WWW

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  20. Nora:
    Me? Never did like 'girly stuff' though I think girlies are becoming more ungirly these days.
    Which is a GOOD thing.
    XO
    WWW

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