Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Chat



I'm a great one for the chat. I love conversation. Always have. Got hooked at a young age hiding somewhere inconspicuously: behind a chair, in a corner, on the stairs, listening to my mother and her friends unthread lives and stitch them back up again.

We learn so much from the talk of others. "An caint" as we have it in Ireland. And what was that again about Irish conversation? A series of monologues?

Conversations with women are different than with men, I believe. Women like to thrash things out, go around a topic, land for a while, veer off again. Men tend to treat dilemmas as problems to be solved. Women are not looking for solutions when they talk. They are looking for the shared stories, the sympatico, the empathy.

"Take this," she said last evening, as she handed me the framed picture she had made, "The star lights up at night."

Yes, on those dark nights it will glow quietly on my bedside table and remind me of her. My dear friend who has suffered and triumphed and who will dance again.

6 comments:

  1. I hope the 'trash' out is a typo. I find women quite like thrashing things out. And they can thrash out various topics and find solutions to problems at the same time.

    Occasionally, I enjoy a good conversation and I'm lucky enough to be able to find one when I need to talk; but staying quiet and thinking is no mean pleasure either.

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  2. Oh heavens, Friko, thanks for the edit.
    And I love the opposite also, just sitting and thinking. For hours sometimes.
    A gregarious loner as I've said before. That's me.
    XO
    WWW

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  3. I love nothing better than a deep digging conversation about a good emotional issue to set it completely straight. You can't do that with just any old body. You need to find like minded women. Women who like to play around with their thoughts and who like to be challenged. It's nice to turn a problem completely upside down and discuss every aspect of it and come to some sort of conclusion. You feel like you've done a day's work.

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  4. Nora:
    Even a conclusion is not necessary but everyone feels so much better. You put it very well!
    XO
    WWW

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  5. I love that frame, WWW! The lighting-up star is "a cherry on top".

    I'm not much of an expert on conversations with women these days. To be absolutely honest I've always preferred having conversations with men (apart from via online blogs like yours, WWW).
    I've wondered about this affliction, often. I think I'm a bit scared of women in general. ;-)

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  6. It is odd that the next post in your blog is all about texting with your friend and here you are talking about chatting. Over here, now a days, when I tell someone over the phone, okay, let us have a chat about it soon, I am promptly asked for my email id so that the person could raise me on google chat or yahoo chat or FB chat. In the good old days, whenever I told someone the same thing, he would not be able to sleep till the face to face chat took place! Yes, times have changed indeed.

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