Sunday, December 09, 2012
Love and the Beloveds
Or does it occasionally wander off and meander around looking for a new home?
Do we put expectations on the love of another?
Can the love of self be pure and selfish in the best way?
Are we capable of love of others without love of self?
What validates love?
Can love be truly unconditional?
I ponder on this today, the very worst day of my year. When getting out of bed and showering and dressing and eating is truly an accomplishment. Under the covers in bed is where my mind is free to think of her. And think of her. And think of her.
Most of my beloveds I take for granted but never without overwhelming gratitude. They know who they are.
But there are other beloveds who are so very distant - distant in their disregard and unavailability. But close to my heart. And they know who they are too. For shared memory doesn't allow the cutting of those intertwining ribbons of love.
And there is never enough of it to go around today.
I put all my energy into reflecting on what I have and not on what I don't have.
It ain't easy.