Sunday, December 09, 2012

Love and the Beloveds

Can love remain unshakeable and constant?

Or does it occasionally wander off and meander around looking for a new home?

Do we put expectations on the love of another?

Can the love of self be pure and selfish in the best way?

Are we capable of love of others without love of self?

What validates love?

Can love be truly unconditional?

I ponder on this today, the very worst day of my year. When getting out of bed and showering and dressing and eating is truly an accomplishment. Under the covers in bed is where my mind is free to think of her. And think of her. And think of her.

Most of my beloveds I take for granted but never without overwhelming gratitude. They know who they are.

But there are other beloveds who are so very distant -  distant in their disregard and unavailability. But close to my heart. And they know who they are too.  For shared memory doesn't allow the cutting of those intertwining ribbons of love.

And there is never enough of it to go around today.

I put all my energy into reflecting on what I have and not on what I don't have.

It ain't easy.

28 comments:

  1. That's so sad. I wonder if you'll ever be reconciled?

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  2. Your comment: "I put all my energy into reflecting on what I have..". Keep putting your energy there. I know some days it does not seem to help, but over time, it does. Blessing to you.

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  3. I feel that anything I said would be inadequate. Please somewhere in the back of your mind, don't give up hope and yes, reflect on that what you have. Always! xox

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  4. Wish I were there to hug you.
    I have had deep times like this.
    At the moment they seem far away
    but can come creeping up so
    easily.
    Then I am like you.
    Love and Peace
    sent to you
    from miles away...

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  5. I went back, leapfrogging from link to link, to read all the posts about your daughter. My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine one of my children cutting the whole family off like that. Distancing yourself from one person who is continuously hurtful to you or who visited terrible abuse upon you would make sense, but to decide you no longer have a family? No. And so I can only say how sorry I am.

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  6. No, it never is easy. Poets would not be able to make a living if all their love was requited. But that is also part of this adventure called life.

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  7. I can only say that having a son that is estranged from me and his family I understand your pain.

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  8. I've been stuck in a paint pot, but I was thinking about you as I worked.

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  9. Nick:
    the longer it goes the less hope I have.
    XO
    WWW

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  10. Mel:
    Welcome!
    Yes my energy has been directed into other areas and today is the first day I've felt I'm back in myself.
    XO
    WWW

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  11. Irene:
    I know you understand and thanks for being there.
    XO
    WWW

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  12. SAW:

    I miss her so much it hurts and the worry about her never leaves me.

    Thank you.

    XO
    WWW

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  13. GFB:

    I am so sad for you. I totally understand. One of my good friends, his son has been estranged for 17 years and he says the worst is that he is also banned from seeing his grandchildren. My estranged daughter has no children, that I know of anyway.

    XO
    WWW

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  14. Good healing vibes there GM, today is a much better day. Thank you.

    XO
    WWW

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  15. Why are some of us so terribly unforgiving, for so long? I'm sorry your daughter has made the choice she has. It must be very difficult -- well obviously it is -- for you. My heart goes out to you both.

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  16. Hopefully, one day your dtr will be able to re-establish contact with you.

    Many years ago a young relative pretty much severed her connection with her parents and most other family. She was unresponsive to the mother's efforts to elicit more contact. The issues I knew of seemed to me maturation would have diminished, but some individuals "gunny sack" them -- sadly for them and those that care about them. She did resume some contact, though limited, years later -- is now 89 yrs. and not many of relatives left now.

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  17. My heart aches for you and your daughter.

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  18. SJG:

    No idea. I like to think if she realized the kind of hurt she was causing it might bring her to her senses.

    But part of me recognizes that is strictly wishful thinking.

    XO
    WWW

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  19. Joared:
    As the years tumble by my hope evaporates somewhat. And I think there is permanent fallout even if she did re-emerge. So much history lost and bonds unformed.
    Sad about your family too, it casts an enormous pall.
    XO
    WWW

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  20. Pauline:
    Thank you, some of us are a hair's breadth away from this. And I think we all realize it.
    XO
    WWW

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  21. OWJ - E:

    Thank you so much for your support and virtual hugs!

    (I hate this Blogger for throwing you into Spam and letting the Vuitton sellers out :( )

    XO
    WWW

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  22. I am so sorry Wise. My 58 year old [on Dec 11 - today!]daughter tells me she "has no intention of disrupting my life to visit a mediator with you". Therefore we have not seen each other for over 3 years. A huge pain in the heart isn't it? I look to the genes to console myself.
    take care and the worst of the season will be in the past in 15 to 20 days.
    Betty

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  23. Both Jerry and I have estranged children. It is so painful. We feel for you. xxx

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  24. Betty:

    It feels pretty senseless doesn't it, especially if we are all only around for a very short while.

    In total empathy and sympathy!

    XO
    WWW

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  25. Anne (and Jerry):

    We hold each other in our sorrow. No one can understand like someone who's there.

    Hugs.

    XO
    WWW

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