Friday, March 01, 2013
Knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.
I returned a call from my insurance agency in the last couple of weeks when I was in self-inflicted purdah.
I returned the call immediately. One never knows. An eejit pricking their fingers on my fence, a deadfall off a tree landing on a balding head, a drunk crawling their way up the meadow at midnight and curling up dead in a blizzard. We are all aware of these nebulous liabilities thanks to the hot coffee from MacDonald's poured onto someone's naughty bits, the guy in the van leaving his driver's seat to get a drink from his RV's fridge thinking cruise-control meant auto-pilot (he got millions, btw). I could go on. One does not ignore a call from one's insurer.
- Oh, insurer sez, we noticed you could use an extra codicil of insurance. For $70 per annum we can give you forgiveness on your first automobile accident.
- I am accident free.
- Well, that's the point. When you do have one we will forgive you if you have this endorsement in place.
- But you're already making a fortune off me....
- H'm okay - now about house insurance?
- I don't have any.
- That's a mistake.
- Not in my case as you don't offer coverage for what I can be most affected by: storms and floods.
- Well, they're Acts Of God©.
- As an atheist I don't believe in the evil acts of your god. Why can't I have coverage for only the events that can destroy me which I consider the terminal, convulsive response of a devastated and destroyed-by-humans planet?
- Is that a no?
The above convo got me thinking of the nothings we all pay for. As in nothing tangible at all. Cable. Internet. Insurance. Bank Fees. Taxes. Every call I get from an existing supplier is to upsell me an additional monthly fee. A smarter phone, donate more to our cause!, the "how can I live without cable?" calls, a property tax that goes from $40 in my first year here 9 years ago, to $250 today with no discernible improvement or addition to services. I still have my own well, my own septic tank and once a week garbage pickup. No change to what I had then and my polltax increases by 625% while my income shrinks to 20% of what it was in 2003.
Am I the newly elected leader of the dimwits?
Or just a grouchy geezer?