Saturday, May 07, 2011

Simple Home Remedies


1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE
ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR
A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO
USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

8. IF YOU'RE BORED WITH HOUSEGUESTS, REMEMBER THEY CAN SOON BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE IF YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

10 comments:

  1. That is the best laugh I have had all day! Thank you.

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  2. Thanks, I needed that. Hilarious!!!

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  3. WD40 and duct tape - right! They're on my shopping list for next week - then I'll be sorted....come what may....apocalypse, armageddon, or American Spring - as in Arab Spring (some hopes) ;-D

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  4. Am I ever glad that you've got a sense of humor. Thanks, I needed that.

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  5. What a great beginning to a new week, particularly when I am expecting house guests!

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  6. I specially like the one about the mouse trap on the alarm clock.

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