Saturday, July 09, 2011

Life Lessons


...*yawn* last night's sunset...

I've learned a wee bit over the years. Not much, but enough to sustain me when I feel isolated and alone.

One of the more important has been:

"Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind."

Think about that one. Through the long days of rehearsals through to the debut of my play (and megatons of self-doubt, of course) those who mattered to me supported me in thought, words and action. It meant the world. I think putting one's creative endeavour out there for public consumption is a giant step and not an easy one. Ridicule and dismissiveness and complete disregard can hurt.

I kept focussed on 'those that matter', the kind messages, the cards, the tokens of encouragement, and didn't think about the huge silences from people I thought cared about me. They are there neither in sorrow or in joy. They do not matter in the long run.

Another lesson there, you see:

"How we do one thing is how we do all things."

And I would be totally surprised if past performance did not equal present behaviour so I did not feel let down.

Another lesson I've learned is:

"Never compare my insides to your outsides."

Outsides lie. And lie. My insides can hurt and just because you're all happy-dippy-'swunnerful doesn't mean you're not hiding pain and disappointment too.

A Saturday afternoon and a time for philosophising, obviously. But if these thoughts can help anyone else, it is worth the writing down of it, n'est pas?

23 comments:

  1. well it helped me today...i'm in one of those life just sucks moods. And outsides DO lie. Thanks for the insight (inside ?!)

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  2. Sorry to hear about this, Twain. Outsides are lying SOBs they really are. Everyone puts on a bit of a face and it is only the very few we can be totally real with.
    XO
    WWW

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  3. it was an exhausting day here. I did not intend to work over the weekend but will end up doing so.
    wish I was in my beach house (which I don't have) with nothing to do for the rest of the summer!
    Them maybe I'd be able to get the play rewrite done.

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  4. thank you :)
    and i meant to add that this is a glorious Photo...i love it

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  5. Zuleme:
    Aye there's the rub. I too have to work at the dayjob and the work is at my feet in a big blue crate. Oh to be able to write all the time!!!
    I do hope you can get at it soon!
    XO
    WWW

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  6. Twain:
    The sunsets here are to die for. I never get tired of them and I hope my readers don't either!
    XO
    WWW

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  7. I'm surprised that you worry about those who don't seem to care. Don't let them bother you. You have too many who do.

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  8. "Never compare my insides to your outsides."

    I love it.

    So often I get up, dress up and show up wearing my street face! People seldom read eyes these days.

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  9. Does anything matter in the long run? There, you have inspired me to become a philosopher.

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  10. Haven't seen a sunset like that for months - and it is meant to be summer? Your ponderings have set me thinking about how important it is to concentrate on those close to us.

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  11. Nora:
    Maybe I didn't write it well. I was talking about it NOT bothering me.
    XO
    WWW

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  12. GM:
    Yes, our private pain only shows to very few trusted dear ones. And I find with myself it is not so much family as my close friends.
    XO
    WWW

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  13. Yes, the minding and mattering motto is most comforting in times of stress, abandonment or disappointment.

    One of my own favourite philosophical reminders, often told me, long ago, by my Dad:
    "I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

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  14. I may have misunderstood you, WWW. It didn't sound like you anyway.

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  15. "I think putting one's creative endeavour out there for public consumption is a giant step and not an easy one."

    It is one of the hardest things a writer can do. Especially a play, where you are there in the building on first night, a ready victim to a fickle audience. You have more courage than I to even attempt it. That it worked and was successful is just reward. Congratulations!

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  16. I like the quote (don't ask me who first said it): You are what you love, not what loves you.

    It does hurt to be ignored or criticized but only until you are able to look beneath to the mind behind either and see that it is all in THEIR heads and has little if anything to do with you. Genuine praise and support come from a different place, a happier and more secure place. Looks like you've learned to latch onto that :)

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  17. When you need help and support and encouragement, that's when you find out who your real friends are, while the fair-weather friends fade away.

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  18. Ramana:
    Well said you put me in mind of: will this all matter next year?
    XO
    WWW

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  19. Freda:
    And it never ceases to amaze me that it is more often friends (and some very recent) who are more supportive than family and old friends.
    XO
    WWW

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  20. T:
    Your dad was very wise, I think there was more to the quote as well, about hands and eyes...
    XO
    WWW

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  21. thank you, RJA, you totally understand!
    XO
    WWW

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  22. Pauline:
    Oh I do like that quote! Yes, I believe we get stronger in the broken places and can finally put an end to false expectations from unsupportive quarters!
    XO
    WWW

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  23. Nick:
    Thanks for adding to the wisdome on the comments!
    Through the play I really discovered who my 'family' was!
    And I am including my blog-buddies in that!
    XO
    WWW

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