Saturday, July 09, 2011
...*yawn* last night's sunset...
I've learned a wee bit over the years. Not much, but enough to sustain me when I feel isolated and alone.
One of the more important has been:
"Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind."
Think about that one. Through the long days of rehearsals through to the debut of my play (and megatons of self-doubt, of course) those who mattered to me supported me in thought, words and action. It meant the world. I think putting one's creative endeavour out there for public consumption is a giant step and not an easy one. Ridicule and dismissiveness and complete disregard can hurt.
I kept focussed on 'those that matter', the kind messages, the cards, the tokens of encouragement, and didn't think about the huge silences from people I thought cared about me. They are there neither in sorrow or in joy. They do not matter in the long run.
Another lesson there, you see:
"How we do one thing is how we do all things."
And I would be totally surprised if past performance did not equal present behaviour so I did not feel let down.
Another lesson I've learned is:
"Never compare my insides to your outsides."
Outsides lie. And lie. My insides can hurt and just because you're all happy-dippy-'swunnerful doesn't mean you're not hiding pain and disappointment too.
A Saturday afternoon and a time for philosophising, obviously. But if these thoughts can help anyone else, it is worth the writing down of it, n'est pas?