It's hard to maintain a balance in life, especially once we get older. I believe, also, that the advancing years can make us more impatient, more immediate in demands, more hurt by invisibility and lonelier as dear ones die.
I remember being at a gathering many years ago where we were asked individually what troubles we carried into the room. And we all got very honest and shared exactly what we were worried or grieved or in grief about.
And at the end of the evening we were all asked what troubles we would exchange with anyone else in that big room. And the answers were we would prefer to keep our own, thank you very much. Incredibly revealing.
It reminds me also of our human habit of comparing our insides to someone else's outsides. "They look happy all the time, what not me?" being a classic. Many project happiness and carry sorrow within. I know I've done it.
I remember this jolly older man, always joking, a little flirty and one time he shared with me that all three of his sons had committed suicide over the past 10 years. Yet there he was, doing his best, getting on with it and probably crying into his pillow at night. Books and covers come to mind and speaking of......
I'm reading this wonderful biography of an actor I've always admired. And he is a classic example of being wretched for years and wearing a sense of uselessness and stupidity (reinforced by his father) and letting that define his persona. How he surmounts many challenges is inspiring.
I took this photo out my living room window tonight. the white bit at the top of the pictures is an overhang of snow from the roof above, dangling like a canopy.
And finally a pic of my supper, one I make frequently as it is so easy. A tortilla in a pie plate, throw in 3 eggs and some cottage cheese, whisk, add layer of spinach leaves and chopped red pepper, cover in shredded cheese (I use parmesan) and bake in preheated oven 425 degrees for 20-ish minutes, depending on the cottage cheese amount. Does me two meals. It reheats well in the oven. Micro would make it too wimpy.
So there you go.
I suddenly feel useful.
