It always takes me unawares. I'm cruising along, calendar a little too full as it nearly always is - Type A personality what can I say? - and I come to a complete halt. Almost paralyzed. It happened yesterday. I had a full day scheduled for today where I had to speak at a small annual retreat, prepare a pot luck dinner (orange-coconut-curry chicken over rice, my usual go-to potlucky thingie)gather a few items for a raffle, pack a lunch, select something half decent to wear and Bobbie's your aunt. Nothing to it.
So I get home around 7 yesterday. I forgot to mention there's a visiting book club plus guests coming on Monday for a lunch and discussion and about 26 already booked. So I had agreed to do the crab wraps for that (another go-to, cream cheese, seafood cocktail sauce, green onions, shredded lettuce, crab)AND bake a couple of my orange cranberry loaves. AND I agreed to take my new friend on a small trip on Sunday, I could work the food prep in around that, forgetting about the exhausting Saturday that would have wrung me out by then.
As I said, I got home about 7 and just the thought of all this activity made me collapse on my bed, feeling like a complete and absolute failure at life. And I slept. For about 2 hours. Refreshed when I got up? Hell, no. Distraught is a good word. I started in on what I had to do (there was an early start of 7.30am on Saturday's packed day which would run late - the after dinner candle lit discussion runs to 9 pm - and it was then I realized I'd misplaced my Nice. Nice ran away on Friday sometime. It was an overwhelming week for Nice. Committee meetings, newsletter, agenda planning, more event planning, editing (that never seems to end)and oh lawd yes, PGs staying for 2 days until this past Thursday where my output of Nice (and breakfasts!) had to be cubed if I wanted a pay-packet.
So awful as I felt, I canned out on today's relentless demands on Nice. Guilt? You don't know the half of it.
I need to plan the calendar a little better. Schedule some recuperation times. My health needs to be respected as frankly, it hasn't been that great for a while now. But I hate talking about that.
When you're greedy for life, as I am, how do you plan downtimes when all forward events collide and you want to be everywhere at once?
I couldn't agree more. You do need to plan the calendar a little better and schedule some recuperation times.
ReplyDeleteYou should tell me how you do that Rummy? What selections do you make?
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I hardly have the kind of a life that you lead WWW. Mine is much less socialising and more of home activities. Scheduling therefore is not too difficult and I have a clear no for activities which I know will be stressful. I often have to find things to do!
DeleteNever mind the nice, be kind to yourself and LISTEN to your body. You owe it to yourself and to those who care. I learned the hard way years ago. What is one missed day compared to weeks and months unable to do anything or enjoy life? Stay well missus.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done for this Type A-er, GM, but I'm going to plan a week ahead and fill in days off in future. No matter what. And look forward to them.
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Great idea.
Deleteyou are busy
ReplyDeletelove your crab wraps :)
Far too, Ernestine. Yeah, they're good, I'll take a picture :)
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Not my problem at all. I always schedule as little as possible and give myself plenty of time to vegetate and free-wheel. I'm amazed at the non-stop business of other people. I couldn't possibly live at that pace, I just don't have the emotional resources.
ReplyDeleteI find it so hard to be like people of your calibre, Nick. I'd prefer to be too. I suppose it is a question of working at it. Hard to change the spots of a leopard, yeah?
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Let's see: went to market today. Fixed a stir fry with rice for lunch. Did some reading and writing. Will go swimming later. I'm pretty slow. The tortoise type.
ReplyDeleteWell done you! OK today I cancelled a cruise with my new friend, made a scrumptious chicken curry, baked some whole wheat bread, and the fixings for the crab rollups are on the counter......
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Let's see: went to market today. Fixed a stir fry with rice for lunch. Did some reading and writing. Will go swimming later. I'm pretty slow. The tortoise type.
ReplyDeleteI am also more of a tortoise type...Look after yourself...Really.
ReplyDeleteTrying to get a handle on this thing called life. It should be a song title.
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You are indeed amazing. My energy levels seem to ebb more now and I'm much younger than you. I can no longer do all the things I once did. I carefully schedule my calendar. No more than one activity a day.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning, DKZ, but I'm a slow learner, I'm so often shocked when I shut down. Like WTH - I'm still 25!
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I thoroughly enjoy your blog and look forward to each new post. Would you consider sharing your orange-coconut-curry chicken recipe? It sounds sooooo tasaty.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a pic and then write up the recipe, BDS, thanks for your kind words!
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Yes, BDS, it sure sounds tasty as do the wraps but, with your request, you have just added to WWW's to do list.
DeleteU
It's been so long since I over-busied myself that I can't even remember when it last was! I work only three days a week (except for an extra half-day from home) and unless it can't be avoided, I plan absolutely nothing for my four days off. And if I DO have to go a meeting or an appointment, I schedule it for the afternoon so I don't have to rush off in the morning. I guard my four days off like they are my children. I need them, I love them, I live for them, and I am so very grateful for them. I am not active in the community (shame on me, apparently, as you are not a "good woman" in these parts, then, unless maybe you are growing ALL the food to feed your family, and canning and freezing it, and sewing your family's clothing too, and being a fabulous cook and housekeeper and looking after the yard as well, keeping that big lawn mowed) but hoard all my free time to myself, to do what I must when I must and when I choose to. That's not going to look good in my obituary! And I'm not a "hard worker," so they really won't know what to write, will they, for the eulogy! "She was a stubborn spoiled brat who indulged herself rather than serving others and the wider world." Ha! I dare them.
ReplyDeleteIt's never been easy to balance one's personal needs against our expectations of ourselves and the requests and demands from others. I just hope you are getting a handle on it and putting yourself first. If you don't look after yourself, you won't be looked after. It's that simple.
I know exactly where you are coming from - I overbook myself, too - always have done and probably always will. I have already had to back out of a few things over the last year or so - some temporarily (like saying to my Sci-fi friends that I had to stop going to our weekly socials whilst I was rehearsing for three different concerts in six weeks), and some permanently (I no longer play hockey as I was too exhausted at the weekend to be able to do it well enough, and got overstressed about letting people down).
ReplyDeleteI also forget how long tasks take me - of course I can do all the shopping, return the item I hired, tidy up, bake biscuits, cook and eat supper, have a shower, and get out to the social event before 6.30! And then I get stressed when we run late.
I know what you mean about nice running away, though. People don't see the effort that goes in behind the cooking, cleaning, running around, and they start to make assumptions on you. It starts to grate when you don't even get a "Thank you" for your efforts.
As I'm still learning this whole time management thing, probably the only things I can suggest are scheduling in down time into your diary (and that is proper sit-on-the-sofa-me-time, not I'm-not-socialising-but-I'm-still-cooking-cleaning-making-notes-and-worrying-time!), and remembering that the world doesn't stop if you say "no" or ask someone for a hand.