As I age, I endeavour to look at the additions in my life rather than the subtractions. Subtractions are so many,I can overlook the additions.
I have renewed contact with a family member which is enhancing my life once again. (No, not Missing Daughter). This shared history, the aging process and family news catchup means a lot to me. I can gnaw at those absent ones, but that does not serve me well. I celebrate this renewal, this rebirth, and put no expectations on it, for I stay in the moment with each conversation.
I get so absorbed in my needlework that I forget to eat. I'm working on this artist's palette and a burst of stars on a new shawl (see above) and being absorbed in the creative process drenches my soul in light and gratitude.
Forgiveness and understanding come easily as I age. A good friend had shut me out for several months, much to my bafflement and hurt. A few nights ago she texted me to come over if I was available. I did, with some trepidation. (Was I going to be accused of something, anything? Was the chill going to be reinforced?). Her husband hugged me as I came in and she lurked in a corner looking at me nervously. I didn't hold back. I held out my arms and said: give me a hug. She did, quite teary. I don't know what the estrangement was all about and I don't want to know. It may happen again. Or not. But I'm not wasting any more speculation on it.
I love the Irish expression of: "he/she had notions there for a while." It sometimes explains a whole pile of unexplainables. We all get them. Off with the fairies nursing slights or hurts. Real or imagined. Finding words for such behaviour can be difficult without sounding insane or unhinged.
I'm dealing with such a scenario with my young friend at the moment. Helping her label her feelings. As she can't. I was there once, in another lifetime, a frightening place to be. And someone dear took the time with me to walk me through the emotions and help me label them and understand the turmoil. I'm passing it on.
So yes, there is much in my treasury right now. It may look like slim pickings to some, but it is abundantly rich to me.
Long may your abundance continue!
ReplyDeleteThanks E. Charlottesville did it in!
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Good on ya Wise!
ReplyDeleteAh sure, isn't everything temporary?
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missed your sharing
ReplyDeleteyour handwork is wonderful
keep going forward :)
Yes, no time for the fancy backward footwork!
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You have lifted my spirits!
ReplyDeleteI'd squash them today!
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Sounds wise to me -- glad you and friend together again. I experienced a shutout over a decade ago for reasons I've never understood, but think it's possible because my friend made a false assumption. I reached out a few years later when I realized I would not hear, but the coldness was there. Sad that we've lost each other but others had expressed to me long before my experience the person had changed and the others no longer enjoyed my friend. I found it hard to believe, but then I experienced it, too.
ReplyDeleteI can relate, Joared, I lost a long standing friend, massive shared history, I had to move on as you can get stuck in a terribly sad groove of loss.
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Far from being slim pickings, these are the stuff that life offers that we tend to trivialise till we get old. Fire away and hug away.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ramana and also for your lovely birthday wishes!
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Odd that you have no idea what the estrangement was about. Odd that she gave not the slightest hint of what was going on. Her notions will remain a mystery....
ReplyDeleteTrue dat, Nick. Sometimes we're better off not poking under the rock.
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These are tough years, and we need each other to get through them.
ReplyDeleteI know Hattie, my friends are so precious to me today, there are so few left. And many family members can't be arsed.
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Just to open one's arms for a hug is what my best friend Cathy taught me when we were 18 years old as the best way through anger and conflict. The crap falls away. -Kate
ReplyDeleteSo very true. A hug is such a healer.
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You have the knack of accentuating the positive, eliminating the....well, ya know! Not always easy to do, but always worthwhile to try. Your post reminded me of husband's eldest daughter's "good book" that she compiled last year (or year before - I forget!) Her husband was made redundant from his editorial job, then had a succession of serious health scares, culminating in his falling and crushing his heel bone really, really badly. It seemed almost like a curse had come upon them. Husband's daughter began compiling a "good book", recording all the small but important good things that happened during those bad times. She said that doing so helped her a lot.
ReplyDeleteWhat an absolutely brilliant idea, I must remember that in times of what seems to be (at the time) unmanageable conditions.
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It is good when you can count the small things among your blessings.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they're all small blessings?
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She said that doing so helped her a lot.
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