Random thoughts from an older perspective, writing, politics, spirituality, climate change, movies, knitting, writing, reading, acting, activism focussing on aging. I MUST STAY DRUNK ON WRITING SO REALITY DOES NOT DESTROY ME.
Monday, March 19, 2018
Challenges
(1)I'm down with something. A bad cold, not quite ready to call it flu. I am susceptible to bronchitis so am keeping a close eye and ear on this thing. I did have the pneumonia shot earlier but not the flu shot. It's not that effective anyway. I'm about 5 days in, sleeping a lot when I'm not hacking a lot. A nuisance more than anything else.
(2)I'm sad about many blog friends either resigning from blogland or disappearing without notice. Far too many this year so far. Some leave in high dudgeon over slights and insults, others are ill and just about break my heart. Others grieve over losses and can't find the energy or inclination to post.
(3)Daughter is leaving the country tomorrow for nigh on 5 weeks. I'll miss her like mad. This digital age is useful for ongoing connections but the daily and physical contact can't be beaten.
(4)Missed my bookclub meeting today due to (1) and feel sad about that as I had thoroughly enjoyed the book and had made extensive notes on it. Remarkable Creatures A remarkable book about the discovery of fossils by two women and guess who got all the credit? According to the book reports posted online, all members loved it and had a great discussion. I know I'm extremely fortunate in my book club, we really stick to book discussions and host authors also.
(5)I keep close tabs on a friend with what looks like early dementia but I am feeling the strain. If I remind her of important facts of her life, the next time we talk she informs me of these same facts as if they just happened, forgetting I reminded her. She lives at a distance so it is challenging and sad. I'm unsure how to proceed if at all. Worried too in case she hurts herself. I gently suggested independent senior living to her and spoke of the advantages of not running a house anymore and getting things taken care of. She clenched on to that idea fiercely and I was so relieved. She kept repeating it to me and then wrote it down. I imagine she is very frightened but not sharing that with me, and who's to blame her. Her mother had early onset Alzheimer's so the gene pool is not favorable towards her. I reinforced that she is in charge of how she proceeds now. And no one else.
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I hope you mend quickly but the stress of your friend and your daughter being gone for a time will not help. The long and short of my advice is to take care of yourself first with more sleep, liquids and soups and look for helpers if you need them and don't be afraid to ask. Many hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks E, good advice. There is nothing much on my agenda apart from new groups and events I was going to check out but yes, I've learned the hard way to take care of myself first and I can hunker beautifully with books and Netflix and my knitting. And local delivery of groceries if I have to :)
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Yes! That sounds perfect, except for the symptoms, of course.
DeleteYah. Getting old ain't for the faint of heart.
ReplyDeleteDilemmas we never anticipated in our elder years, Fred.
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Hunkering sounds to be just the ticket right now, WWW. I hope you soon can chase away that bug, so as to enjoy the springtime. :)
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing is lack of sleep due to coughing. I'm taking every suppressant I can and no dice.
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I love 5. You are doing right by her. Good for you. Sorry you aren't feeling well, hope all this rest makes you feel all the more well , after it is gone.
ReplyDeleteI am trying Gemma, it is very worrisome as there is no one close to her.
DeleteThank you for the good wishes.
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It's worrying when you know someone with dementia and you're always afraid they'll accidentally injure themselves. It's good that she's latched on to the idea of independent senior living. When my mum was still in her own flat, before she moved to the care home, I was always worried she'd do something daft and need help but not get it until someone happened to find her.
DeleteIt's a very difficult situation Nick as I'm not related and so therefore I am powerless. I don't trust her sons (based on past experience) to act in her best interests.
DeleteI am going to seek professional advice on this. She is very dear to me.
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I've been 'offline' for a while and have just caught up with your last six posts. Sorry to hear you're under the weather at the moment, but apart from that your life really seems to be buzzing. I'm so happy you made the right choice about moving to your latest abode, and the new cleaner sounds a real find. And, hey, a director of the board. Wow!
ReplyDeleteThanks RJA. I think you are one of my longest Blogger Buddies now. I am so glad that you moved out of Trumpland too. Our intuition seems to be bang on when it comes to taking care of ourselves. I always tell people to pay attention to that small inner voice.
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I hope the last two days have brought some relief of symptoms. One of my daughters always gets a lingering cough that plagues her for the longest time after any kind of respiratory illness. Thank you for taking the time to talk to a friend in need and also to offer a book selection to us. I always trust your suggestions as worth checking, so the book is on its ways to me.
ReplyDeleteI had a good night's sleep for the first time in an age last night Linda. I feel renewed :) My weakness is my lungs also. When I was 9 I had double pneumonia and pleurisy. And then was a heavy smoker for over 20 years. Poor old lungs.
DeleteLet me know what you think of the book. I learned so much from it.
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My blog has become a sad and introspective blog since our son (our only ‘child) died just over a year ago. I stopped for a while and then restarted writing; but even I realised I was writing trivia and nothing much was worth reading anymore.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly wasn’t like it had been in the beginning (mainly crafts) or my attempts to record some essence of the lives of ‘ordinary’ people I’d met throughout my lifetime.
Of late I’ve started reading blogs again though but have been a bit bemused by the either real or imagined slights that are occurring between bloggers. I don’t mean from those who troll as a hobby - but followers and fellow bloggers who get affronted if someone questions what they write. If you expose yourself on the internet then it doesn’t really take long to find not everyone necessarily agrees with your views.
I don’t think my blog was ever exciting enough to generate such interest or confrontation! How would I have dealt with it? I really don’t know... Follower numbers never meant much to me and over the years I’ve changed my address a number of times - hiding and writing just for myself. However, I think the time has come for me to read and no longer write.
Hence I’m here and willing to listen!
I am so sorry you lost your son, Blossom. How heartbreaking for you. It can be far too difficult to write when you are overwhelmed with loss and grief.
DeleteBut you are welcome here and feel free to comment whenever you wish.
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I envy you that you have a daughter living so close by, but that doesn't make it easier when she goes away, for however short a time. My kids are all boys (men) who tend not to keep in touch, and who live at minimum 2000 km (by road, probably closer by direct flight) away. I am used to it.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder, Annie, why it is that boys are not more emotionally connected. I have 4 brothers and on the whole they are distant and give the impression they are uncaring even when serious illness strikes. Is it upbringing, this horrible way we gender children even as babies? i.e. Tough little man, daddy's little princess? Roles they need to play? or shutting down so early in life to displaying any kind of "softness"?
DeleteSpeaking for myself, even when I'm with the men in my family there is very little emotional connection, just extreme loudness and jokes and male posturing.
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Blogging is one of those wave-like things - sometimes it's there, sometimes it recedes again. At least for me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm noticing the comment above and thought I'd offer a counter point. I have sons, now grown. They are tightly connected to each other but also still have a bond with me. My younger son, especially, since he lives close by. I see him regularly and we also keep in touch by text. I am sometimes surprised by how open he is with me.