I am goodly. I am avoiding all the podcasts, all the streaming, all the substacks and all the newspapers.
Politics can be a total addiction and I see that clearly now. I wasn't addressing some real issues in my life like another long term friend with dementia and the resulting void in my life that now exists. She was one of my first friends in Newfoundland and was instrumental in getting me into her building (there was a huge waiting list - still is).
I decided to go back into therapy after my doc expressed some concern (again!) that talking to someone might help me.
She got me in to see one lickety split (the following day) and I am thrilled that there was an immediate click with him. In the past I've had a few really poor ones but was canny enough to dispense with them. I was also fortunate to have excellent wise ones.
I realized when talking with him, that things had really shifted for me emotionally last November when I nearly died and my brother died two days later. I also realized that in Newfoundland I have one close friend (now in dementia) but the rest of the friendships were more transactional. And that I hadn't shared this massive loss and its impact on me with anyone. A few times I tried but in one case the friend walked away.
So my conclusion also was that I used politics to fill that massive emotional void. And I could feel myself slipping away.
So onward into a better emotional outcome for me.
I feel lighter already.
You had the courage to post this. That is a good start. Brava!
ReplyDeleteThank you e, and more and more I realize how valuable my blogworld is to me.
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I'm so glad you are getting some help! Good for you. ❤️
ReplyDeleteMe too Jean, I felt I was slipping away.
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Problem solving at its finest. I'm sorry not to be living in Newfoundland, I'd come over, make us a cup of tea, sit down and just listen, now and then telling a bit from my own life. I so hope you're on the mend.
ReplyDeleteTransatlantic virtual hugs (and a mug of tea) from MotherOwl.
Oh how I would love that Charlotte, I've missed so much of that interaction since I lived in Ontario. The cup of tea and sharing.
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Good luck as you move forward. Too bad Miriam and I don’t live closer. I have no doubt we would be firm friends. Take good care of yourself - David
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt either David but I am so glad we found each other in blogland. Your posts continue to inspire.
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Good for you. You are wise to recognize the cause and the effect.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for that, politics can add to our feelings of absolute powerlessness, extinguishing our own lights.
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I believe you live in a communal living space? Lots of people around? Yet, no one to call a good friend? I'm sorry about that and hope it can change and a really great new neighbor will move in and see that you would make a great friend. I'd come over and befriend you if I lived close by. You could tell me to bugger off if I annoyed you, but I think we could be good buds.
ReplyDeleteThank you Delaine I am sure we would too. Yes a lot of people around. But conversations are very small for the most part, if you understand that? For instance a recipe for vegetable soup can be discussed for 30 minutes and they are fierce (negative) gossipers and I have no time for that. I have tried, believe me.
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Politics can really wear you down. I know I’m just recently pulling away from it. And it’s always quality of friendships are better than quantity. I think I’m lucky to have two with a really good neighbor who is also becoming a good friend. But as you get older, it’s not like it was when you were in school or worked with people and of course as we get older, people begin to depart. I too would come share a cup of tea with you. From following several blogs, I feel sometimes we have more in common and can connect better with those people than some of the people we do see in our own community. But we have that, which is a wonderful thing. Mary
ReplyDeleteYes, Mary truly I feel the connections more in the blog world where we throw down all sorts of topics and have both fun and depth. But my hospital stay showed me a lot about this building.
DeleteAnd even though I have a fairly prominent position in it for the community, the closeness is not there. I do make an effort. But I am discouraged and honestly, I am a very friendly person 😉
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This is good news, Mary, and you know we needed it from somewhere, all of us! Glad you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call it better Kate by a long shot, I feel I am on a long journey but I sure am hopeful.
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I hope you manage to find a few more friends to talk to and spend time with.
ReplyDeleteI think as we age it's more difficult to form new friendships. One of the better parts of old friendships is the shared history and memory banks. But I will try River!
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I appreciated that you shared your feelings, Mary, and am sorry to read about your friends. I admit to being uninformed more than my husband on many current events. It;s not that I don't read the news every day, but only once and my sanity is better for that. It was good to read that you had an immediate connection with the recommended therapist.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bernice, you are very wise to stay away from the cesspit of politics. I think many of us are feeling we are rendered powerless to do anything with the threats facing us all.
DeleteYes, the therapist seems like a really good one.
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I too can get a bit hung up on politics but still watch whist they're up to.. I do have friends my age still alive and kicking but my very best one died last year.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read you lost your bestie Chris, I lost mine in 2014 and I never got over it. My next best is in a dementia facility. Old age is a time of loneliness I believe.Old, Old age I mean.
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Did lazy Sean ever tell you are a wonderful woman?
ReplyDeleteHerewith done! ;-)
Oh Sean, you have quite turned my head. Thank you! I'll get back into the W4W soon - I always enjoy your quirky takes!
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