.....As we used to call this time. The time of "Santy", the time of anticipation, a mad excitement infecting all of us - as children, then as parents, and, if lucky, as grandparents.
I was chatting with a dear friend this morning when it struck us both that these feelings are now absent. I said, and meant it, I think I'd prefer if I was alone, to savour some memories, to play my own music, to not worry if I am unable to leave the family parties early as I don't drive at night, to just work on making myself smaller, more invisible in the excitement around me. To forget, if I can, the constant pain punching in my back lately which makes me sleep deprived and balancing pain meds so I don't zombie out but find that delicate balance of pain reduction while still being alert.
I received a lot of cards but didn't have the energy to send out any this year. I become stingy with meting out my energy, some days I use it only for medical appointments, this past week it was a sleep management expert and a calibration of my home BP kit which was reflecting high BP for the past couple of months but at the clinic was proved false. I'm within normal for my age and condition.
I miss the old guard of my friends, now passed on or in brain deterioration of some kind. One in terrible depression.
I tried to keep up with Grandgirl who stayed with me for a few days. She is wonderful company and we "Swifted" out together watching the Taylor Swift documentary. If I were younger, I would be one of those mad fans at her concerts. Maybe I could get an obliging young 'un to push me in a wheelchair? Worth a thought, right?
So a selection of random photos to Celebrate Sunday Selections and to remember dear Sue, what an awful loss. She lives on in so many of us.
Another one of a boreen on Sherkin Island that I took. I had frameable prints made of this for all my siblings. John Willie was the famous ferryman who was drunk quite a lot and assigned a passenger to take his boat over to the island. At the age of 13 I was so designated one night. In a storm.
A view from the front of my building where you can see both the lake and the ocean in the distance.
May the season be kind to you and those you love and the coming light dispel any darkness or distress.🌲❄️🎅
You piloted a ferry boat through a storm at 13? Wow! Exciting and terrifying all at once. I am impressed.
ReplyDeleteI only sent three cards this year to family not livng near me, all other cards were handed over with the Christmas gifts. I don't do parties either, but do go to the Christmas Day lunch at the twins house.
Yes, but it was a simpler boat in those times. And in those days, there was nowhere to stay on the mainland if I didn't take it across. LOL.
DeleteI will enclose some cards with gifts but failed miserably at mailing this year. My smiling presence should be enough, right?
We are of one mind on the crowded Christmases.
XO
WWW
I well remember those days of excited anticipation, although when my sons were little, it was strongly laced with anxiety because where would I get the money? Some hard years back then.
ReplyDeleteThese days I put my energy into making this a bright and happy time for my husband and me, with lights and decorations that few others will see, usually. It's a time for remembering, and for appreciating what we have. I do still send cards, and mail packages to grandkids far away,because it makes me happy to do so. Maybe one year that will stop ..but not yet.
We tend to forget the rough years don\s we Sue when money was tight and the kids demanding so they could keep up with their friends. I usually packed the house so I wouldn't feel lonely for my family in Ireland. I am glad, in many ways, that today is less demanding and can at least not go frantically baking and cooking and organizing.
DeleteXO
WWW
I am getting used to 'for your age' but I'm not looking forward to the addition of 'your condition'.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I find that hard right turn arrow at the bottom of little road quite alarming. If ignored, I wonder if you end up down a cliff or in the sea, or both.
The colours in the quite old photos is vivid, but then Ireland is about vivid natural colours, except for the grey.
Yes, we do miss Sue and her wisdom.
It's a wending road Andrew and you can't see the little row of fishermen's cottages on the right beside it and the wee shop beyond those. The turn goes to a crossroads.
DeleteShe is deeply missed, Andrew.
XO
WWW
Beautiful blog
ReplyDeleteHoliday time can be stressful for so many, so it's best to make time for yourself and do what makes you feel joyful. I hope your 🎄Christmas is peaceful in whatever way makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoyed Christmas. It can be such a lovely time but also exhausting.
ReplyDeleteI also thought of Sue: her liquored puddings and her boxing day fruit salad.