Dear Stephen:
I've been a fan of yours since God was an altar boy.
I've seen all your films, read your books, listened to your dulcet tones on radio.
I've been in love with you since you Tweeted from the inside of a stuck elevator.
I love your shaggy, craggy face, your intelligence and I went physically weak with devotion when I heard your thesis on atheism on CBC.
I actually modelled one of my characters in one of my inedita novels on you.
And now Stephen, you go and spoil it all by saying that women don't really like sex?
That sex for women is
"Only the price we're willing to pay for a relationship?"
I only have two things left to say to you, Stephen.
How the F*** would you know?
and
We're through.
Yours sadly,
