Meanwhile in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

There was born the wisest and the most brilliant of all men.

His name was Todd Akin.

And he was the saviour of women everywhere.

But especially of women who were raped, or incested, or molested.

And he even changed the word "rape" to "one of those things."

I think that should become rape victims' theme song, don't you? - "Oh, it was just one of those things"

Because he had a formula, a magic potion.

And this elixir when used, but only in the way, he, Oracle Todd specified, would determine if a rape was genuine or not.

And if real and genuine, this magical liquid would not allow a female to get pregnant from said rape.

Thank you Mr. Akin. And Fox News for allowing him to speak for us.

You are the hero of us womenz everywhere.

We pronounce you blessed.