I don't even know why I'm writing at all. And I notice you aren't either. Is this Spring? Do I feel this crawl of endless stuff-to-be-done winding itself around my proliferating To-Do lists until it chokes me?
I gave up being depressed a while ago. Well, I think I did, but what do I know. Now I just get blahs. Nothing seems to lift me out of it. Even a good intense rehearsal of the play's music tonight. Or a lovely prize from just entering Laurie's rah-rah Minnesota Readers' Choice Award (a real official-like press bag with matching mug and offical-like reporter's notebook, since you asked). And yes, she won for her book, Yay Laurie!
Even cheery notes from family members missing me at a family picnic fail to disperse the bluesy blahs.
I look around me and I always want to be doing something else. I feel such a need to write, to edit, to just BE and all I get are emails or phonecalls always wanting something from me. I am surrounded by files, by tax returns and even the census to complete and it all seems to be too much. I feel my spirit has raced away from me and I'm just too darned tired to catch up to it.
I know many would trade my life for theirs but thinking that doesn't help MY blahs. Not one bit.
It could be the world, right? Shaky little planet and shady people running it. I think this low level blah thing is affecting many, many people.
Change, she's a comin' round the corner. And I don't think she's going to be good to any of us.
There be dragons, b'y.
The world is going to hell in a hand basket, but I think you're just experiencing your own personal blahs right now. You'll be over them in no time at all and be your old optimistic self again. You can't keep a good woman down.
ReplyDeleteI get these things too and am also in the midst of one. The good thing is that they go away.
ReplyDeleteI think this is what spring fever is. One feels like one ought to be excited about life but instead one feels cranky, on edge, blah-sy, inert, just kind of off. Instead of a steady warming and sunniness we get sun/rain, warm/cold, balmy/windy. One day it looks like one should have started planting a garden weeks ago, the next the seeds are all moulding in a cold wet swamp. All winter we pray for spring, now we pray for spring to move on.
ReplyDeleteDoing tax returns can't be good for the spirit! Pray for June 1!
There be dragons.
ReplyDeleteWaiting just offshore.
Where dragons have always
waited.
Yet the sails have been set,
the anchor heaved aboard.
The still air whispers
a warning sigh
"It could be the world......" I think you hit the nail on the head there WWW. The blah of the world's current condition is always there in the background, always has been too, throughout the ages. It's our turn to have to be blah'd by it all.
ReplyDeleteWhen the un-blahness of something takes our minds off the background blah though - it's so nice!
well the Blahs seems to be what i'm in lately too, at least i'm in good company. Hope things look up again soon, for all of us.
ReplyDeleteThis time of year seems to produce the Blahs as profusely as dandelions. A walk at the waters edge with Ansa should do the trick.
ReplyDeleteAll things pass, as they say. I agree with Grannymar, a good long walk will sweep away a blah or three.
ReplyDeleteWriter's blues, I call it. The old 'can't be bothered to write 'cos nothing's worth putting pen to paper for'. Ah, but sit down and write about it. It's amazing what comes out the dark cupboard of the mind when you think it's empty.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I see you did!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I mean I'm an ARTIST dammit! Who needs admin and day jobs and housework and girly maintenance and shopping for groceries to get in the way?
ReplyDeleteGod, I would kill for self-shaving legs!
Thank you for putting a word to it! I refuse to say I'm depressed because I *know* people who are depressed, and it I do not have that complete loss of function. The blues feel a bit more melancholy than I am - I just feel the need to get out and go for a wander and leave everything behind for a few weeks. Just generally *blah*.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the rubbish goes away and you get the calm and the chance to relax and be, even if it only holds out for a little while. Sometimes it is worth tearing up that to-do list and heading out for a walk amongst the Spring flowers.