Sunday, May 04, 2014

Sustaining Friendships.

I left quite a few friends behind me in Ontario when I moved here. And yesterday was some sort of record day in my life because three of them called and thanks to my Bluetooth, I can wander around and talk for hours.

These particular friends never demand anything of me so it is simply warmth and love and connection in our conversations.

I am often surprised at the friends I do have who always seem to want something and only call when this agenda is on their minds. I find my barriers go up, I keep waiting for the axe to fall in the conversation. They need a reason to call perhaps and can't seem to make a call of care, concern or compassion without lurking behind a request for me to do something for them.

Apart from business calls, I don't think I've ever requested anything of a friend apart from the pleasure of their company and the art of their conversation. I may be wrong in this but I do hope not.

And the reaching out of these three yesterday? I hadn't realized how very much they mean to me.

It was lovely knitting our stories together yet again, and completing another piece of the tapestry together. And not losing the rhythm of each others' years. As that can happen. And it is so sad.

And making plans of meeting in the realz before too long.

And yes, I do tell them I love them.

Thank you my darlings - Pad, Linda, Dianne (and not forgetting Claire from last weekend).


  1. Those are the kind of friends I am short of. I have an overdose of the other kind and that is why I had a burn out. Consider yourself lucky with these three. xox

  2. Friends like that are wonderful. I did ask at one stage for your phone number, but did not give it to me, so I cannot surprise you with a call.

  3. It’s not so much a question of what we can do for each other, but what we can be for each other. It takes a special kind of person - one who can also be alone - to be a friend and companion rather than a convenient go-to-for something.

    I hope you’ll have yours, and they’ll have you, for a good long time.

  4. I don't mind a good friend asking for a favor, but I wouldn't consider that person a good friend if they only contacted me when they wanted something.

  5. It is indeed weird that our lives seem to run on parallel tracks. I too wrote about three encounters where you have left your comment.

    There are a number of self help books that suggest steps to have a happy life and none of them ever miss a point which is to make many friends.

    We are both blessed that we have and can make.

  6. Hello:

    Re: your comment on 'nickhereandnow', this is simply to assure you that we are 'real', share the blog completely and all to do with it and so feel, rightly or wrongly, on the suitability of writing as 'we'.

    That said, we completely agree here with all that you say about friends and friendship. What is so surprising, and this is almost certainly the same for you, is that real connections can be and are made in the virtual world which, on happy occasions, translate into reality.

    We wish you a happy week ahead.

  7. I saw you stopped by my blog, if it can be called that.
    Being also on the far side of sixty, through attrition I'm down to one that I've known for a long time. Oddly, we've managed to even live close for nearly 40 years; he lives a half block away now. I have other, newer friends, they come and go. It's different with someone who knew you 'back in the day'.

  8. What Agent said. I see nothing wrong with a friend making a request of me, as long as I can equally make a request back, and as long as the requests don't come thick and fast. And yes, as long as the request is part of a genuine friendship and isn't just dependency.

  9. And I saw the comment from Jane and Lance! Good to know they really do feel like a "we" and it isn't just an affectation!

  10. That is richness indeed. You are a very lucky woman.


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