I am grateful I have survived this long. Life isn't always a bowl of cherries and certain times of the year are worse than others for most of us.
I was thinking back on pivotal moments. The ones that changed everything.
I've had a few directional shifts in my life. Emigrating to Canada. Semi-retiring to Newfoundland. Recovering from alcoholism. To name but a few. And children. Bearing and rearing of same are enormous pivotal moments.
I have very little regrets, if any. I can't think of one offhand apart from wishing I'd been kinder, less defensive. We use the tools, often faulty, that we're brought up with, and frankly I should have abandoned mine much sooner. But I can't preordain the speed and direction of my own personal and spiritual growth.
I can't understand you if I can't understand myself.
I'm shocked by people who put an end to their learning. One said to me recently: I hate new words, I hate learning things. I've had enough. And she's 8 years younger than I.
And here I am wading through a book about Burma and designing a book cover for a daytimer. How? I ask myself. How can we abandon being curious, being creative, being a scholar?
So as I age I find fewer to discuss ideas with. I find, on the whole, talk is reduced to gossip and medications: yours, mine, ours.
But I have a cherished few. And the Young One. Grateful for that I am.
Grateful for Daughter who sees me right each and every time in ways I can't even count.
Grateful for the one sibling who checks up on me with frequency and concern. One out of 5 ain't bad.
Grateful for dear friends who are there, always, with love and open hearts.
Grateful for this one wild and precious life.
I am your student.
ReplyDeleteAnd I yours. A 2 way street.
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Aha, learning is a 2-way street. I could learn from you too!
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I have noticed the same thing, and it does not help matters that I am a bit isolated now, so the blogosphere has become the easiest place for such discussions and posts such as my last two are not seen as weird whereas, in my remaining family, they might be. I have little to do with family anymore preferring the company of those who accept me. I learn new things everyday and always enjoy coming here.
ReplyDeleteThank you E. We would be classified as total eccentric Out There. To my knowledge, no one I know IRL reads my blog.
DeleteMy virtual family are more real to me.
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So important to keep learning. Stay curious, and please, share with us. Love to read what you are doing with your life. Keep living it.
ReplyDeleteThanks DKZ!
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I agree, I find it's important to keep on learning, but only in the areas I'm interested in, such as history, fiction, psychology -- I'm not taking a math course anytime soon!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Tom, I've always loved expanding my chosen horizons.
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And what was the end result for the book cover you showed us a while ago? - Kate
ReplyDeleteStill on creative process. I dropped the ball, said she shamefacedly, and must pick it up again.
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Learning yes
ReplyDeletethis one a lifetime learner and when I think I cannot do it
and will wait until children or grandchildren arrive
I smile
because if I keep trying
it happens.
In this small area where I returned 8 years ago
can count on half a hand of who I have anything in common with
but always say I returned for the simple lifestyle I love
and the dirt (my gardening)
Take care
relate so to you...
And I to you Ernestine. We find our tribe on the internet and I am so grateful for it, this day and age which, truly, is awe-inspiring.
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Let's blog to keep young at heart.
ReplyDeleteGood thought that!
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Here's my music for you today WWW. Not really related to your post, but I hope this makes you smile and find some long ago good memories. Haven't we all been here, at least once?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrGDoDloD1M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKvyl1163M0
ReplyDeleteI have few regrets, as well, beyond, like you, wishing I had been kinder and more open to others.
ReplyDeleteAfter the holidays the battle royal to save our country will consume me and many others. Wish us luck.
I'll be with you, Hattie! After brain surgery mid-year, I no longer need the cane I needed for the previous three years to walk. I'm trying to build up stamina for one of the sister walks on the 21st, while my oldest daughter is hoping to go all the way to D.C. But that will just be the beginning of a long four years.
DeleteHattie, I'm trying to keep optimistic but holy hell, nuke talk?
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With everyone in spirit who attempts the walk. A frightening new world but on the upside I've never seen so many, many women wake up.
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How can people hate learning things? How can they do without the pleasure and wonder that comes from discovering something new and unexpected? How can shutting everything out and retreating into your shell make you happy? Strange.
ReplyDeleteWell, a learning disability can result in that feeling, although I don't know if that would apply. Brain damage can too, so can strokes, hearing and vision loss, some illnesses some medications, that make what was once a pleasure now a source of embarrassment and failure. A feeling of loss that can never be regained, a loss of one's "self".
DeleteNick in the all kinds to make a world theory people get intimidated by new stuff. I see it over and over here. They get angry even if one suggests learning, say, basic computer skills.
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Anon, I hear the frustration, there are always many sides to experiences and opinions. The person I was referring to refused to play Scrabble with her husband again as he was learning new words from me and she didn't want to learn new words and or "deep" books. And PS she was a teacher.
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WWW, you (and Hattie) are examples of what it means to stay engaged, curious and outgoing on your blogs. I so wish I had the energy to keep up with you, but it is dwindling away, fast.
ReplyDeleteIt's a sad truth for me too that the number of people I can discuss ideas with gets smaller and smaller. Topics here in a small expat community are gossip, who's ill and who's died. I feel quite alienated at times.
Pam you're not alone in this. I find my supply of friends has shrunk to a poverty level and conversations are as you mention. Death and meds and illness. I find it stressful.
DeleteMy writing is dwindling as well, much as I try. Health challenges and the old BD knocking at the door.
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Lady Luz: I was in San Miguel de Allende in Mexico twice and spent some time with the ex-pats, mostly U.S. and Canadian snowbirds. Not my cup of tea, even though I do think they have done a lot for the community.
ReplyDeleteExpats are their own clubby selves and believe me I was part of the Canadian Irish Expats for quite a while. Very drinky and mother macree.
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I hate new words?! I love learning new words, reading about something I've never given much thought to, trying to learn a little of a new language. When I stop feeling that way, I imagine it'll be over for me.
ReplyDeleteLife is all about learning SAW, Might as well curl up and die when that desire leaves.
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And grateful for another Christmas. Have a lovely Christmas, WWW, and here's hoping we're all still around for the next one.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for Christmas and the New year.
RJA, Live love laugh time. Unless a fiddle presents itself. End of Days? I kinda feel it.
DeleteBut hey, RJA, be happy in the moment.
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