Sunday, August 19, 2018


“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

― Margaret Atwood

On the love between women: "A certain tenderness, a certain reciprocity, not having to make allowances for the male compulsion and fundamental sense of superiority. What man doesn't have it? Gay men included."

- May Sarton

“Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.”

- Andrea Dworkin

For a couple of years Daughter tracked the number of women killed by their partners in Canada. It was difficult, traumatizing work but no one else was doing it. Police records are not helpful. Most of it is classified under "domestic incident", with the victims' names erased. She had to give it up as it was too painful and heartbreaking. Every 6 days in Canada a woman or girl is murdered by those who purportedly love them. These victims are not commemorated in any way. She wanted to start a wall of remembrance in her town rather than the planned wall/monument/hallelujah gizmo honouring another dead male soldier. The soldier won. They always do.

This inherent male violence still has the power to startle me. A male blogger, who projects an image of gentleness and compassion, was accosted recently by a female neighbour, one he dislikes, and his immediate reactive desire (not acted upon, thank heaven) was to punch her in the head "until her eyes popped out."

And yes, I know #notallmen - but that is not the point. Where are the #notallmen condemning their violent misogynistic brothers? ( PS they don't, reference an intense conversation I had on weekend with two good male friends).

Furthermore, I am getting so sick and tired of female statistics now being skewed by "transwomen" who are invading female bathrooms, jails, police cells, locker rooms and women's shelters and along with raping their victims and intimidating little girls insist on being called "women" while us born women are labelled "cis". Not to mention competing in women's athletics and winning trophies. And seriously, if you're trans, live long and prosper, but please keep your penised presence away from our most vulnerable spaces. And realize, please, you have absolutely no idea of what it is to have lived a woman's experience in this world. None. Stilettos and makeup and push up bras and the lipper and slap is all we are? Stereotype much? Seriously?

All I've ever wanted for myself and other women is liberation, to be who we want to be without the inherent underlying threat of male violence and control and now, goddess help us, we've admitted it to our most personal and private spaces.

And don't get me started on how most seem to conflate gender and sex.

That's another post entirely.


  1. As a male I hesitate to comment, but ... I think what all of us should strive for is the freedom to be who we want to be -- as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, and without the threat of violence, or any other type of oppression, from the powers that be, whether they're male or anything else. Btw, good post!

  2. I'm anti-war to the bone, and yet, and yet, WWW I sometimes wonder if some of the male aggression, which really is innate in many of 'em, an to a lesser degree in we women, would be more usefully - and less painfully for many women - re-directed if they were forced into military action for a number of years. Of course, female members of the military would still have to put up with a lot (as they do already, I'm sure!)

    That bit of human DNA (the aggressive part) which has survived in order for our human race to survive, would seem to have run its course. Still, though, that particular bit of our DNA might still be needed in coming decades when the worst happens due to climate change, or due to nuclear war.

    It's a tricky and sticky problem.

    As to 'trans' people, the only ones I've ever met - and it was long ago, in Manchester, UK, 1960s - were very gentle people, doing their best to deal with what nature had done to them. Things have likely changed a lot since then, the 'trans' scene seems to have exploded recently, and perhaps a few of these people are not as entirely genuine as the people I once knew.

  3. The trans women I know are women, not men in drag and do not act towards other women in the way you describe. That said, I agree with the majority of your other points.

  4. Further consideration compels me to wonder why you seem to think trans women have penises? It is not the penis that determines behavior or attitude but socialization and environment, along with the brain. Trans persons are trans because their brain and sensibilities compel them to be, not because they like to don stilettos and parrot or denigrate.

  5. The trans women you know ARE NOT women and will never be...they are men who WANT TO BE WOMEN and feel like they were born to be women but as long as they have a Y chromosome will NEVER BE WOMEN...changing your physicality and claiming in your brain that a mistake has been made at birth and that you are really a woman STILL DOES NOT MAKE YOU A WOMAN, wishing cannot make it so..while sad, as most trans people seem gentle sad souls this really burns me up...God haven't women been through enough through the ages now we must surrender our very femaleness to men....well F that:(

    1. Put your name on your post. Stop hiding hatred and ignorance behind anonymous comments.

  6. You had me until your trans rant -- trans women are the MOST victimized by violence people (women) in our society. Shame on you.

  7. Well e unfortunately I have had problems in the past while posting with my real name by people like you that twist simple FACTS to "hatred and ignorance". I hate no one and the ignorance is yours alone. Ask any geneticist if trans people are women (or men) and they will tell you NO, but I am sure you will again show your ignorance and debate science. At this time in history genes, and DNA (ya know chromosomes) are the definitive determination of male or female...try to take your emotions out for a walk next time before you put others down with your viscious words, just a thought.

  8. Totally agree with the first part of the post. 100%.

    Mixed on the trans bit. On the one hand, I've worked with trans women who believed with every bit of their being that they were just born in the wrong body and are now trying to make it right. I fully support them in their journey. But I do feel that unless you actually grow up in a female body, you can't fully appreciate the experience of being female. Still, on balance, I don't think trans women (or men) are the problem.


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