Sunday, January 20, 2019

Blog Jam

Living in a seniors' building, death knocks on doors periodically and is a reminder of our own mortality. One of The Ladies died on Friday night. She was having trouble sleeping as her sister was sick and she was worried. The doctor refused to give her sleeping pills as he was afraid she would get up in the middle of the night and fall. Her sister died on Wednesday night and then Gillian (a pseudonym) died on Friday night. They were both in their nineties. I know, a great age. But the judgement of the doctor I do question in not prescribing her something, anything, to help her sleep as she was most distressed.

Needless to mention a pall descends on the building when this happens, we are all quite subdued and reflective.

I realized in meditation this morning that I just don't have enough hours in the day to Get Things Done. The things I want to do, the things that bring me joy.

I have a great idea for the CBC memoir contest and have been scribbling notes everywhere I go and on bits of napkins, etc. More on that at some later date. But for now, I am laughing at some of my memories which start out as being sad but turn a corner. A lot more work is needed.

Then my niece showed me this one needle method of knitting socks, yes! including turning the heel!, and I thought this old dog can learn a new trick if she works really hard at it. And yes, dropping stitches as I went, nevertheless I persisted, as I am wont to do with most new skills. And this started to climb up the needle.

I am reading this rather wonderful book: A Gentleman in Moscow and I can't get enough of it. I have to pace myself because of all the other stuff going on. I think it was Anne Brew, a frequent commenter here, who recommended it. Thank you!

Next week there is something on every day which necessitates putting on my nice face and leaving my nest. I shouldn't complain as the alternative is where Gillian is. I am glad she kept going, with her erect, proud, tall, military carriage, right to the very end.

26 comments:

  1. My condolences on your loss of a friend. It seems that death is at every portal I attend to lately.

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    1. I didn't know her that well DLZ but I was familiar with her routines and her innate kind of snobbery. To the manor born kind of thing. But I do love oddballs and eccentrics.

      XO
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  2. Sympathies from here as well.
    Two sister hearts sometimes beat as one without our knowledge.
    On your nice face days...I hope someone teaches you something new every day or that you teach someone something new or at least make them think. You are very good at that kind of thing.Maybe let us know after these days how your life was broadened or how you broadened another's life. Make it an adventure...you always do.

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    1. Thank you Gemma, yes I try to keep learning and I do teach a little now and again too. Life is an adventure if we let it happen.

      XO
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  3. My condolences on the loss of your friend.

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    1. More of an acquaintance, really but thank you mxt.

      XO
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  4. The CBC contest sounds to be right in your field of expertise (aka as "right up your alley") WWW! We look forward to more on that soon.

    By the way Himself is currently reading your short story book and enjoying muchly. :)

    My sympathies, too, for recent losses. Bad news seems to be coming from several directions for us too. A maternal side cousin of mine, in Cyrpus, wrote to me, quite unexpectedly the other day telling that he has been diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma (the asbestos disease - no cure). He has around 12 months, unless chemo can delay his demise. He's 7 years my junior, which is disconcerting to say the least, especially as within the past two years I've also lost two other male cousins (paternal side) both years younger than me. Brother of Himself (several years younger than him) died around a year ago. We're determined, however, to try to stay in the "left behind" category for a while longer. :)

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    1. I am so sorry to hear of your troubles T. It is such a jolt and a harsh reminder each time. I spent the day feeling a mix of sad and eager, if you know what I mean. Sad for Gillian in an odd way and then this kind of devouring of life thing took over.

      I had a dear cousin who died of that too. Working on building sites before they knew of the danger of asbestos. He married late in life so his family were quite young still.

      Yes, I like this left behind thing too.Maybe a bypass is in order if we duck and cover?

      XO
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  5. I too think you friend needed more sympathy and understanding than she received. I hope my sister takes my eventual passing in stride. She is ten years younger!
    I must look around for one needle stocks. Are they K1Slip1 and do the opposite on the other side? Though my four bamboo size ones are so molded to the shape of my hand...

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    1. They are on one long circular needle. I am still mastering the technique, the heel seems as if it won't work but I know it does once I persist.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. Echoing others. Your friend did indeed deserve more consideration. And kindness.
    I am sorry for your loss.

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  7. A friend of mine passed last year, he was also in his nineties and in his last few days had unbearable vomiting. he went to emergency and also called the home doctor but there was little concern shown. When I mentioned it to my own GP he remarked that young doctors don't try too hard with anyone over 80.

    I see that you were admitted to "the Ladies", you must have some talent at the charm thing!

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    1. Yes, I am gifted with that. I landed many jobs in my time because of the old Irish charm. LOL. I can literally talk about anything but I am also a great listener and I absorb all detail around me.

      XO
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  8. I'm taking your book recommendation and buying this fella's other book, too--Rules of Civility. I ordered used copies from Powells.

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    1. I must put that next one on my library request list too. I'm loving Moscow so much.

      XO
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  9. It certainly puts us in sobering touch with our mortality when friends die. Glad she held her head up 'til the end R.I.P. Your knitting made me think of some beautiful wool I was so tempted to buy the other day. But I resisted! I have so many projects to finish before I can even think of starting a new one. But I do love to knit. And paint. And sew. And read. So something has to give!
    I just read A Gentleman in Moscow in December and absolutely loved it!Today I finished his earlier book - Rules of Civility, which I also loved, just not quite as much as Gentleman. Glad you're enjoying it too.

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    1. Isn't it a great gift, Molly, to have so much to occupy us and keep our hands and minds challenged and creative? Truly there aren't enough hours in the day. I am so enjoying Moscow, like a feast I continue to savour as I open it each day.

      XO
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  10. I like how your memories start out as being sad ... but then turn a corner. I'm gonna keep that in mind next time I start reminiscing.

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    1. Yes Tom, on reflection I realized I had so much to pack in and very little time. I am grateful that death can sometimes nudge us in a direction of carpe diem.

      XO
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  11. Sadly when we get to be a certain age little care or comfort is offered by many. She should not have had to suffer not sleeping on top worry for her sister.
    I enjoyed A Gentleman in Moscow enough that I also read and enjoyed his other book, Rules of Civility.
    It is wonderful when we can still learn new things and more importantly WANT to learn.

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    1. Yes. I am surprised when elders turn down that opportunity as they did in this building when I tried to initiate a life long learning programme. I really don't want to get to a space where my world has shrunk to my walls and I kvetch about my neighbours all day. To each his own, I guess.

      XO
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  12. I read the Gentleman in Moscow this month for my book club meeting tomorrow. At first I was dismayed by its slow pace but something happened and my view of the book reversed. I loved it. Sometimes I'd read one chapter and then just sit there enjoying thinking about it. Towards the end I was not looking forward to finishing it at all, I wished it could have just gone on and on. Great writer, interesting story and thoughts on the story.

    The one-handed knitting sounds interesting, how do you do it?

    Sleep and the medications for it can be complicated! Right now I use cannabis, but sometimes it has the opposite effect. I tried sleeping pills but they are horribly addictive (for me anyway). It is too bad about 'Gillian', if only the doctor could have made a different decision.

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    1. I wonder did sleep deprivation kill her as it can very quickly when we get into truly advancing years. I'm glad you can comment again, can't figure out why you couldn't.

      I'm going to expand on this 1 needle sock thing once I have a firm grasp on it myself. It is totally alien to what I normally do and I can nearly feel fresh circuits in my brain slowly unclogging themselves. LOL

      Like you, I'm savouring Moscow. Extraordinary writing and sense of place.

      XO
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  13. Sad to hear of the sisters going so close together, but somewhat expected in their nineties. Also sad that doctors don't seem to try much for elderly people, as I've read here in comments. They'll get their wake up call when they themselves are elderly and seeking help and comfort.

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  14. Maybe there was some small blessing in them dying close together if they were very attached to each other? Still sad.

    Thanks for the book recommendation - I"m adding it to my list.

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