Random thoughts from an older perspective, writing, politics, spirituality, climate change, movies, knitting, writing, reading, acting, activism focussing on aging. I MUST STAY DRUNK ON WRITING SO REALITY DOES NOT DESTROY ME.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Change
Isn't life all about change though?
Then why do we never anticipate it, never allow for it, resist it, complain about it, why me dear lord it, and battle it?
My life has been full of changes. I won't pollyanna it by saying they were all good.
Everything I had to let go of had claw marks all over it.
Marriage, for ever and ever amen partnerships, addictions, moving, moving again and again. Daughter estranging herself. Love gone sour. Friendships tanking. Jobs not working out. Children. Babies starting school. Grandchildren growing up and adulting right before my eyes.
I could make lists and lists upon lists.
What brought this on?
Good question: as those professional lying speakers and politicians say (along with "we're taking this very seriously" when you know they're not at all)
Changing my diet, my life plan, my comfort eating, my foodie status. Growing up yet again.
Three days into it.
Radical change. Huge claw marks awaiting peaceful and accepting transition.
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Change can be productive, but most of us choose to remain in our own comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteI think I have to make this change Gigi, my health and well being are at stake.
DeleteXO
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are you writing about me :)
ReplyDeleteYou are doing fine Ernestine, surmounting all your challenges.
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"Everything I had to let go of had claw marks all over it."
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh.
Looking forward to hearing more about your new practices.
Kate
Me too Kate.
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I hear you on the scars on the things I let go. Though let go is NOT the right phrase for things which are dragged out of my clutches.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on this round.
EC I love the dragging bit. I mindlessly emptied freezer and fridge of crap. A huge step for me being brought up on rationing and no waste post WW2. Humming to block out my mother's voice.
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I also loved the line about claw marks. And EC describes both herself and me by talking about having things dragged away.
ReplyDeleteMy love of food, of the wrong foods, will be my undoing
It is close to mine. I will write more on this as I feel it is important to us aging creatures who perhaps need better nutrition. And less.
DeleteXO
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All summed up in a couple of words, humans and life. I too have to make some life changes if I am to live to be old, but even that doesn't come with guarantees.
ReplyDeleteSo true Andrew. No guarantees but I figured I needed to help this tired old body far, far better than I have.
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I need to make a change too, the same change I've made several times then fallen back into bad habits. I need to stop snacking between meals, after meals, in the middle of the night. i know I can make this change, but can I make it stick?
ReplyDeleteI will write more River on this and what I am doing which may spring some new thinking in others' heads. And it is really helping me writing it down.
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Oh I hear you on the changes- we don't like them do we.
ReplyDeleteI did accept advice on certain changes earlier in the year and they have been for the better. The numbers might be down down deeper than down......but the spirit is as well
No we get so comfortable in a rut of our own making which might not be the best and can lead us off a cliff edge of increasing disability.
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Waiting with bated breath!
ReplyDeleteAh you've always been my cheerleader Ramana - more later.
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I hope you succeed, sooner than later, and not because I want to hear.
ReplyDeleteSo far, well, so remarkably good, Joanne.
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Here is my plan now, which of course will NOT work for ever situation.
ReplyDeleteEat less, drink no sodas, walk more up hill(good for the belly area) , stationary bike( in bad weather), Embrace the little pains the new movement makes...it is working.
Get outside in the sunshine more.
I forgot ...drink more water, eat healthy.
DeleteSee, I know WHAT to do, but actually doing it and keep doing it.
Well done you, GP, Yes water, lots of it. Big change, running to pee, scoping out bathrooms before I go anywhere but hell I'm worth it.
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You know after awhile your bladder expands some and you can store more.
DeleteNow that I did not know. Even ancient bladders squashed by internal babies yonks ago?
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Yes . But not recommended for anyone, because of possible side effects. It is strangely amazing what you can find on the interwebs.
DeleteThinking of change seems to be in the air. That and evaluating change and memories once held close. It must be something in the water. Or perhaps we are all afraid of what lies ahead and need the reassurance of calmer times.
ReplyDeleteFriko I so agree, the world is in turmoil. Here in Canada we are electing right wingers that would give 45 a run for his money. And people are afraid. Free floating anxiety all around.
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A topic very much on my mind at present, WWW, as you know. I believe I've tired of trying to claw back. In the 1980s I had to lose my womb, in spite of argument with doctors in the UK (not cancer though).
ReplyDeleteIn the 1990s I lost my father, mother and everything I possessed in a fire - except our car, my purse and the clothing on my back.
In the 2000-s I left my native land for the USA - biggest change of my life - and quite voluntary - no clawing!
Now, near the end of the 20-teens I'm losing both breasts - bit by bit. I've stopped clawing - it doesn't help. My new message to me is one sung years ago, written by a Beatle (Paul): "LET IT BE".
You have been through so much T and this loss is mighty too and you are stalwart and strong with all of it. I admire you greatly in writing so openly of your challenges.
DeleteChange. I do wish you sunshine at the other side, however you find it, maybe in a blade of grass or a kiss from Himself. I find really looking at tiny things helps me lately, absorbing those nesting crows outside my window, my tiny herb garden in my window.
Courage (in the French way!) we each need it.
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Interesting changes going on. Keep us informed as to how they're progressing. Yes, it can be hard to accept necessary changes sometimes, however imperative they seem to be. Old habits die hard.
ReplyDeleteChange...change...change...adapt...adapt...adapt -- never ends!
ReplyDelete