I'm finding it worsening as I age.
There is just so much to be done, thought about, planned, executed and accomplished that it can be overwhelming.
I got into a political skirmish on FB yesterday and I became enraged at the injustice of it all. I am aware that it is merely my opinion and others disagree but I find it hard to walk away and just LET IT GO.
Meanwhile, this steals precious time away from other matters that I can actually do something about. Like the new senior women's advocacy group we are forming and tax season - did I mention tax season? - where I still have some clients (not many) to keep my hand (brain) in and a few extra coins in the coffers.
Meanwhile, yesterday, I see my new young doctor and honestly, he is sorting out my elevated blood pressure like no tomorrow. He put me on a 1/2 a beta blocker and I'm already seeing the difference though side effects are a slight headache and exhaustion. I rarely if ever get headaches so this leads me into thinking some people suffer so much from them and I am so lucky.
Meanwhile, my dear friend with dementia has had enormous trouble with her power of attorney as it has been executed behind her back and the executor put his name on the title to her house. So she was all panicked and called me (she has no other friend she trusts) and I had her write down a plan, she was remarkably clear-headed, and then the following day her brain was all jumbled again and it was like the 2 hours of the day before that we had on the phone held no meaning for her at all, they had evaporated. So I've had to walk away, I have no room for this in my brain. And I live over 3,000 KM away. So I just metaphorically bless her texts to me that tell me everything is OK now with no specifics and LET IT GO.
I wrote a 5-parter about her here
So I'm going to get a lot more selfish with my time. Practise loving detachment in all my endeavours, go stupid on political engagement and accomplish what is in my reasonable grasp. Good plan, right?
We'll see how all this unfolds.
I will scooch on over on my bench to let you join me on the bench of "good plan".
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh so hard, GP, thanks! Best laid plans,etc. But a sense of urgency is what I desperately need to accomplish even a smidgin of what I want to do!
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I wonder if the losing focus thing is age-related or electronic-device-related. I'm leaning toward the electronics. I'd love to ditch them all but it is so hard to do! Food for thought: "End of Absence" by Michael Harris (an NL boy). Sorry about the headaches, nothing comes for free, always a string attached! Also your friend with dementia, that must be so hard to witness and then to let go of. FYI, my VPN provider just sent me a notice about a major data breach with FB that so far does not seem to have hit the news. Be wary.
ReplyDeleteThanks Annie, I think I'll further protect myself and walk away from FB for a while. Those hissy fit interactions on FB do me absoeffinlutely no good. Question I need to ask is "Is this inspiring for me?"
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You are a good person who cares about people. But, you are right to try to let it go -- or you will be overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteYes, letting go should be my new mantra, Gigi.
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I am a formerly task oriented person. Get on with the job! But since the right brain injury, I've totally lost any sense of connection, let alone urgency. Oh, the lists I make, just to attempt, when I find the list again. In the meantime, I contemplate the world, hours on end. Just that: think about it, look at it. I just don't engage.
ReplyDeleteGood advice, Joanne, whatever the reason: not engaging. We have enough on our plates with our own challenges and I notice I haven't been knitting lately which usually keeps me away from futile politics.
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Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI find letting go incredibly difficult, despite knowing that keeping a death grip on tooooo many things is counterproductive and indeed bad for me.
Yes, EC, one would think it would be so easy, right? But no. One old saw I heard was "Everything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it."
DeleteBut certain things don't serve us well and we all know what they are, right?
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Letting go of thoughts and feelings that don't serve me well is my challenge at present. It's very difficult. I wish just "deciding to" was all it took. I can make a conscious decision in the daytime and then wake up during the night with my guts churning about the thing. We are not in as much control as we like to think; at least, I'm not. -Kate
ReplyDeleteMe neither Kate, I have to really work at it, I guess that's why they call it a daily "practice" tied up, of course, with ego and control. *sigh*
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That is bad about your friend with dementia, but what can you do? You are far away and have no position of power. Hopefully the authorities will pick up anything out of order.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm thinking too, Andrew, it will all spin out as it is with no word or action from me.
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Terry and I were just discussing hoarders. We've known a few as well as thinking some people we currently know are borderline. One of the previous friends got so bad that the son had to move her into assisted living and sell her condo. I had done my best to help her, giving her clear plans, and like your friend, the next day it was all gone--poof. She is now happy in her little studio. Her meals are supplied. Professionals regularly check on her, and since she no longer has a car or means of shopping, the hoarding has decreased. It was much better that I stopped trying to help her.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this DKZ, I needed to hear it. Just accepting I am powerless indeed. Nothing I say or do from all this distance can effect outcomes, favourable or not and I have to believe her family will support and love her and not take advantage. She has worked so terribly hard in her life.
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Detachment - I've been trying it for years and still have not mastered it but it becomes easier with attention and practice. I applaud your efforts!
ReplyDeleteThank you Pauline. I will let you know when I have finally reached the pinnacle of perfection in this. *snort*
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*snort* heeeeeeee
DeleteYes, I do find it difficult to stay focussed and I am given to understand that it is a modern day disease with social media having taken over our lives. I agree with that obeservation.
ReplyDeleteThe compulsion to reach into social media and inflict our priceless jewels of comments is irresistible isn't it? Though I have been resisting these last few days since I brought myself up short.
DeleteLet's check in with me next week.
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Focus? I find that these days I do better in small amounts. So instead of trying to work for three or four hours straight, I work for an hour, take a break, then go back to it later in the day. Blood pressure? There's nothing that will increase your blood pressure faster than a political skirmish on FB or blogger or anywhere else. Which is why I avoid the temptation ... and have sworn off FOX and MSNBC and all the other cable shows.
ReplyDeleteGood policy Tom. I am refusing to engage now even a glimpse today of how pols DO NOT bulldoze over all serious aboriginal matters had me hesitating, my finger poised on keyboard for 2 seconds before moving on and shutting it down. I felt quite proud.
DeleteJust now worth the aggro.
Glad I don't have TV for nearly 30 years now. I would be bonkers.
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I’ve decided to make Facebook politics free.
ReplyDeleteOn Twitter where I get all my news and comment from I’ve decided only to tweet if I’ve met the person I’m directing my feelings towards.
I’ve decided to only look at social media till 9am each morning then for an hour after lunch.
So far I’ve only been very very slightly successful! xxx
Anne I started reading your comment in awe and then fell down in laughter.
DeleteOur reach can exceed our desire indeed and it is so very hard to stay away at times.
Like a box of chocolates.
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Life really is utterly complicated, no wonder there is no spare capacity in one’s brain. I am forcing myself to engage with other people (apparently it’s good for mental and physical health). If only so many of them didn’t have the wrong ideas about things, politics included. Now, If they agreed with me a bit more, that would put a whole different complexion things.
ReplyDeleteDamned if you do, damned if you don’t, but bored and infuriated in equal measure.
I hear you so well Friko, I wish we lived closer I know I'd enjoy some lively discussions with you and some theatre, etc. outgoings and of course sitting in your garden admiring the growth and renewal around us.
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I know how you feel, and sometimes I feel the same (regarding politics), but there comes a point, WWW, when we must simply "Let it be". I'm not a huge Beatles' fan but this song does have a good message:
ReplyDeleteAnd when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.....
Some of the Beatles stuff is crap T, I agree but a lot of it had some many deep layers like Eleanor Rigby and Let it Be and Imagine.
DeleteYes I'm now avoiding all political engagement even tho my head explodes, then I stop reading and move on to current novel.
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That sounds like a good plan to me. So much time can be wasted over fruitless Facebook arguments, political ranting and the like. But how sad that a detailed two-hour conversation just evaporates the next day with nothing to show for it.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear your blood pressure problem is being sorted out. I remember you saying that amlodipine gave you awful side effects.
I am so sad for L, she is spinning at the moment and I can only send love and loving detachment. More will be unfold I am sure. But nothing is all we can do sometimes.
DeleteI spoke too soon on BP issues, Nick.
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How did I miss this last week?
ReplyDeleteI gave up 'engaging' long ago, I've always been a loner so it was reasonably easy for me. I have semi-regular contact with an elderly neighbour which I try to keep to a minimum, but if I don't visit for a few days, she knocks on my door wondering if she has done something to upset/offend because haven't come around. It's beginning to bother me enough that I keep my door locked and pretend I'm not home sometimes.