Faster than a blink. Life going at 81 miles an hour like the old saw had it. At fifteen it was fifteen miles an hour and so on and so forth until now. I believe it.
I got swept up in life. Politics, family, friendships, variations on my health challenges which involved too many x-rays, too many lab visits, specialist visits, doctor visits. Old age requires preservation, an effort which belies our advancing years and ages us more, I believe.
All my siblings, most in different time zones, are visiting me here in May. Concern for the Old Dear is uppermost I would think. We lost our brother last November and the shakiness of my health ripples through those near and dear to me.
A long time friend (another) is showing early signs of dementia. I detached from her in her recent exhibitions of it which were rather frightening (delusional, hallucinatory) but am meeting her this week to talk with her. Compassion and care. I was fortunate to hear the stories of other dear ones as they stepped over this precipice, The fear being most prominent, then the bafflement, then the resignation. All stages which can take some time. I am so very sad for her. But worried too as she will not go gentle into that good night. Her rage is rather terrifying and her paranoia something more extreme than I'be observed before. However, I am a loyal friend no matter what happens. And living in her fear and silence must be terrifying for her. She was so excessively grateful when I said we could meet and talk. She has left a trail of emotional destruction in this building. and she is in reality a very private person with clear boundaries. Now all shattered in her mental state.
As to politics, you can find me on Bluesky under my web name. I scream into the void. The most important election of my lifetime in Canada. We are close to the precipice with the right wingers here who are enmeshed with Maga and up to all the American tricks of calling Canada broken and hating immigrants and women. I find it a release. I am truly worried about the future for humanity if Canada (and hopefully Australia) don't vote this effing hatred OUT.
Well done to the Usians marching and protesting and bringing the message of hope to so many who need it, including yours truly.
We shall overcome rings in my head. We all need to be reminded. People have the power.
I so hope that you manage to defeat the right wingers. Scary times! Here in the U.S. Trump will no doubt completely wreck our economy as well as relations with the rest of the world. Resistance is forming, thank goodness. Don't know if it will be enough.
ReplyDeleteI'm holding my breath in hope that the 'decent and sensible' will assert itself here and in the U.S. There's enough to deal with on this planet without taking everything backward 50 years or more, as is already happening in the States. All their protests hearten me so much.
ReplyDeleteI'd never heard that m/ph thing before but rather like it. The days themselves disappear in a wink, so I'm trying to make my winks count. Even so, I don't get overly much done, and that's okay by me.
You've been on the go, and I can relate to that. Just getting over a year of it myself. It's taking a long time to "recover" but fortunately I'm positioned for it so can't ask for more.
I do miss your writing when you don't do it as often as the "goodle" days, but it is what it is -- we take what we can get!
Be well,
Kate
Fingers and toes are tightly crossed on the political insanity front. The world wide political insanity.
ReplyDeleteYou have had quite a month. Little of it positive. I am glad that your family is coming, despite the exhaustion they will bring with them. And thank you for your support of your friend with dementia - an ailment that terrifies me.
I'm in despair about all the MAGA hatred and the stupid new "laws" too. Where is the common sense?
ReplyDeleteBluesky! I'll look for you! 🩵 We lost family Saturday to dementia, she fought like hell! Loved you popping up in my reader, straightens me right up! Hoping your land prevails, dear Lord don't let the whole world go to the crapper, it's so painful to live in the US.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to hold forth on the state of things--it's all too much! But how I loved Joan Baez, thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteTake good care of yourself.
I'm watching my Dad in the fear stage right now. Just horrid. He is inconsolable.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful time with family. Their determination to join with you speaks volumes of how well you are loved.
How wonderful that your family is coming to check on you! I really do hope it is a great time for all and that you get to laugh and reminisce and have good memories to store up for the future.
ReplyDeleteAlthough still looking bleak from this side of the border, I am seeing some cracks in the darkness. People have begun to wake up and realize that the life they have in America is really better than they thought and they are about to lose it all if we lose our vigilance.
Trying again. Thanks for reminding me of we shall overcome! We need this!
ReplyDeleteThis piece carries so much truth—about aging, grief, friendship, and the state of the world. You write with clarity and courage. Life doesn’t slow down, but your reflection brings a sense of stillness and perspective that’s deeply needed.
ReplyDeleteI think the looming shadows become more real when siblings begin that stroll to life's end. The loss of your brother brought home that hard reality, and it is good that your siblings are acting on it and coming to see you. Most of mine have never bothered to come see me for years, and probably won't as long as we are all topside.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your friend. Talk about a hard reality! I think it would be devastating to have to face that sure descent.
The news about your friend was sad to read and certainly as hard as these changes are for her friends and others, they must be so much harder on her. A friend of mine recently shared that her husband was becoming more difficult as Alzheimer's had been diagnosed and another had to place her husband in a nursing facility. She could not help him at home any longer with her own medical issues. That said, is fortunate that your siblings will be visiting.
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