Heart Breaking

 

Our hearts can break in so many ways over the years, can't they? Heart breaking is an odd term. A heart can't break, unless it's a heart attack, not emotionally triggered. Though interestingly, the pain can be located near the heart or clench the stomach or go painfully silent with shock as in a brain freeze.

My freshly demented friend came up to my apartment the other night. Her phone wasn't working and she was in pieces.

It turns out it needed a pin number to fire it up. And she had tried many times with various numbers to do so until it shut her down for too many failed attempts. I was "the genius" who could sort it out for her.

I told her we would have to wait 2 hours to try again and I could make coffee and to please tell me the pin number so I could open it for her then. She looked at me, baffled. I wanted to burst into tears. Once upon a time, she was a marketing manager for a large firm, handling government contracts. Three years younger than I.

I said we can't open it without your pin. Please try and think of the four digit number.

Blank. She wanted to access her bank app and had brought all the gear with her, blank cheque, bank card, note from her bank giving her a temporary password to access the app which telegraphed she had had a similar issue with the bank app.

Use that, she instructed me. I said no, this had a long alpha numeric sequence and all we needed for the pin was four numeric digits to get into the phone itself. She read off this bank password again. I jogged her by telling her, her date of birth, her daughter's date of birth?

"I can't remember those!" she laughed.

Maybe tomorrow take the phone to the place where you bought it? I suggested, they could probably crack into it for you?

"I don't want them in my bank account" she huffed.

Slowly I explained to her the difference between accessing the phone itself and accessing the bank app. She smiled at me as if I were a half-wit shaking her head.

And I despaired. I am totally at a loss that I was never at with L my friend who also descended rapidly into dementia and has been in a care home for several years.

I honestly can't believe how rapidly S has descended. 

I phoned her the following day and she had absolutely no recollection of the hours she had spent with me the night before. I said, your phone is fixed? "What?"she said,"It's not broken."

It's frankly terrifying. And I'm lost as to how to help.

Edit: Added later

Tonight, she buzzed me on my intercom and arrived in my apartment with a brand new phone (!!). Her granddaughter had set up the new phone and wrote down the passwords but NONE worked. I think her phone provider has scammed her by selling her a new phone. And her granddaughter should know better and have tested the passwords before releasing her into the wild. Needless to mention I don't have her granddaughter's phone number and neither does S with her phone not working.

Stalemate and I'm exhausted. She stayed about an hour but she can't keep track of any conversation. Even a minute later. She wants to return the new phone fpor "not working". I'm hoping her family are realizing she is seriously cognitively impaired.