Best Laid Plans

Sweet Maude.

I know I am the middle of tax season when something untoward and unexpectd happens to yank my chain and wrestle me to the ground.

Beware all ye who read here of the most atrocious computer virus EVAH to attack without provocation. Known to those in the know of such things as "Internet Security 2012", it looks exactly like Microsoft Security Anti-Virus down to the logo. Sorry can't link to the details as I am on my netbook very far from home having entrusted my laptop to the wunderkind who has saved my techie-arse many times before.

This may take a while, he tells me, grave of face, sad of demeanour, we would have to do a full scan once we remove it, it is one of the most insidious ones yet.

You don't have to push a button for this one. This installed itself when I had my back turned on the screen while talking on the phone. I shut down right away and fingers crossed I got away with it before it took charge of my bank account, etc. -

Murphy's Law # 89: The busier I am the behinder I get.

Someone's Got To Do It!

That is:

Buy a new laptop to replace Ye Olde Crashed.

Download all relevant applications.

Undergo another massive computer FAIL.

Reboot, restore, re-load, reconnect, replug.

Still FAIL.

Cry.

Call Main Man, Mr. Computer Genius Wallah.

Go into under-stairs cupboard to retrieve computer bag. Trip over wooden box.

Slide to end of tiny (but long) cupboard.

Realize one is stuck with bloodied and badly bruised leg jammed in wooden box.

Take ten minutes to evaluate this ridiculous situation.

Slowly, through pain, unjam leg, then block further movement by slamming aforementioned wooden box against tiny doorway of cupboard.

Rotate body to plate face on floor and use healthy leg to push box through door.

Think "arse over teakettle position attained," privately, to oneself.

Slowly slide oneself on tummy to hall.

Say casual hello from this horizontal position to Leo who is carting in big box of firewood.

He doesn't bat an eye, which leads one to believe that this is the behaviour he expects from one.

Go to office. Examine the damage to injured leg. Worse than expected. Huge lump down shin, scraped skin all the way to ankle and blood seeping into jeans. Clean up as best one can. Ignore pain like a tough little soldier.

Take computer 50km to Mr. CGW. Who turns it on. And it performs all suckuppy- beautiful, innocent-like.

Next time, he sez kindly, try firing her up without all your peripherals?

But he checked it over anyway for a oouple of hours. To save one's face.

Which was a waste of time.

As it was now all bruised too.

From pounding it off his desk.

And how was your day?

Disasters & Delights

Disasters:

A really, really evil system crash. Total. Complete. Major hardware fail by laptop manufacturer (looking at you, HP!). Neglected to advise individual customers, but did issue (if you were looking, and why?)warning on web. Extended all warranties for 24 months. But of course this didn't help me. System was toast. And also, so was the backup which had overridden what I had selected for backup and went into 'default' and copied lots of nonsense and ignored the more serious files. I was offline for 5 days and unable to work during the busiest time of my year.

Running around looking for a new laptop without tech-expert daughter or granddaughter in tow and then discovering none of these newer models are equipped with dialup modems, so gallopped around looking for a USB modem, fortunately located, but at a super nasty price. Realizing that downloading programmes such as Itunes, etc. takes a total of 32+ hours here in Dialup Dementia. Take time to fire off more blistering emails to political poobahs (Dem Wot Rulez Me) once email viable on new system.

Having to load up tax and accounting software - and for the archives that I maintain, this takes an inordinate amount of time, so what's a girl to do? Blog about it, of course.

Delights:

Finding a truly remarkable expert in disaster recovery who managed to retrieve most of my most crucial data on a spare backup hard-drive that is in most older laptops. He spent 2 days on this and would not hear of charging me for all of this time, billing me for only 3-1/2 hours as he felt so badly for me. A saviour. I'm his for life.

Taking time this morning (it is Tshirt and shorts weather here) to take a long walk around St. Mary's Bay and capturing this picture of Ansa in our ongoing series of Panoramic Picnic Bench Pics.

Solstice Blog Jam

It’s Solstice. Always a bittersweet time for me. I love the long evenings, here the sky is bright till 10.30 and the sunsets spectacular, often painting the sky in oxblood. But I’m also aware that now we are at the top of the roller coaster plunging slowly downwards to shorter days, longer nights. Solstice. I want to race around the trees, dance naked in the moonlight, wake the birds from their slumber. As I did once upon a time.

I’m down with another one of those colds that seem to plague me after each trip out of here. I had a brief layover in Toronto between flights and I seem to have picked it up there. Naturally the dreaded “Swine Flu, ZOMG!” flits through my brain like so many bats in a belfry until I am brought down to earth by the thoughts of those who would give anything to have my symptoms. One dear friend in Ontario on life support due to respiratory failure and another who had his leg amputated from diabetes last year now facing the amputation of his other leg. He’s still smoking, of course. And a dear friend here in Newfoundland who had unexpected major surgery when she was on vacation out west and is still recovering and will be for a while.

Perspective. I drag it forcibly into the belfry and start shooting it at the bats.

I still have files to clear up, columns to write, stories to edit, the to do list is long. How silly it would all look if I was taken seriously ill suddenly. How meaningless. And no, I’m not depressed today, just reflective. I plan to meet with some friends in the afternoon, walk the dog, have dinner in an inn that has become a favourite and finish reading my latest book, a whopping 500 packed pages.

I marvel at the service still provided to me by a computer technician from Toronto who handled my IT dilemmas there. I called him yesterday due to Vista spooler problems. I could not print. On either of my printers. I had tried everything, web solutions, re-installs, updated drivers, etc. Saturday evening, hopeless, right? Daniel called me back within an hour and sorted it all out on the phone with me. It took 30 minutes.

How much do I owe you? I asked, willing to pay just about anything as I wept with relief. Oh, $30, he said, it only took half an hour.

Yes, these magical people walk among us, restoring our faith in the generosity of the human spirit.