I have this twin. I call her my inner evil twin. She doesn't emerge very often, but when she does, everyone watch out.
Today, my long overdue writing workshops resumed. Due to Covid and its unpredictable rises and falls, I've had to suspend more than I can count. But today, I went ahead. Everyone had advance warning as there was so much ground to cover. And extreme protocols were put in place.
I was up at dawn preparing. That is not procrastination, though I can be an industrial sized procrastinator at times.
I work long hours before workshops as I want it all to be fresh in my mind once it begins.
At the very last minute several cancelled on various pretexts, one was away, one was quitting due to family commitments, another had a sore back, another felt too sad and I can't remember the last one, maybe it was a cold.
As I read the cancelling emails my Evil Twin emerged.
"Why am I wasting my time with this ungrateful group?"
""Don't they realize I have far better things to do with my time?"
" I should cancel every single future workshop and just show them."
Etcetera, etcetera.
But I was able to strangle my ET within minutes of the workshop starting as for the few of us there, it was one of the best ever with regard to sharing hopes and dreams and childhoods and tragedies.
Those who weren't there really really missed out on a very special ninety minutes.
My ET is always, always wrong on her reactions to life.
I need to remember that before I paint myself into a corner with no escape.
