Thursday, July 21, 2016

Tales from my Couch


Bill, a man in his late fifties, slim - B.
Trudy, his wife, a hefty woman - T.
Me, their host - M.

B - (settling into the couch in my living room) - how are the roads around here?

M - (laughing) it depends on what you want to do with them: drive, lie, walk or dig them.

B - (laughing)Oh, I'm into running, I do half marathons.

M - Oh they're not bad for that, I trained on them, I can tell you where the best ones are.

T - Oh he's mad for the running, I don't believe in it myself.

B - Well now Trood, it's either that or die.

M - What?

B - (looking at Trudy) I'm going to tell her.

T - You tell everybody.

B - Because it's so amazing.

T - (eyeroll) He never shuts up about it.

B - I used to be 500lbs.

M - (gobsmacked)Seriously?

B - 4 Years ago I had a gastric band put in. I could barely stand up without help.

M - And you've changed your lifestyle. Well good for you!

B - Yes I run in different races now. I track my steps every day, I have hill training and mountain climbing and all sorts of physical events. I love it.

T - (in a flat tone of voice)From a couch potato to a marathon man in 4 years.

M - Talk of change, positive, life affirming.....

B - I love my new life. I took 6 weeks off work recently to have all the extra skin excised from my body, it was painful and horrible but as you can see...(and he waved his hand over his flat stomach and athletic thighs)

T - I hardly know him. He was 250lbs when I married him and now he's 180lbs.

B - I have loads of plans. A huge bucket list. Climbing mountains and deep sea diving. You name it, Bill's going to do it!

Ah, I think. Now where does all this leave Trudy?

At breakfast this morning, he asks for porridge, yogurt and a sprinkle of almonds and granola on top.

She has the big Newfoundland fry-up.


  1. Wow. This would be a good one to follow up over time, eh? Which triumphs, the new lifestyle or the long relationship, and can the two find a middle ground that let's both exist. Fascinating stuff, the making of a book.

  2. I've put on weight since this chair and there seems to be no shifting it...I wish I could walk like I once did!

  3. Interesting post. And good for B, altho' it might help T if he wasn't so self-righteous about it.

  4. I wonder what dreams she once had?

  5. Judging by that conversation I don't like that man. At all.

    Gastric band? By the sounds of it he needs all the help he can get. Hope he has explored why his weight exploded as much as it did in the first place.

    I am with the wife here, hefty as she may be. At least she is authentic. And, lucky her, is not letting herself being browbeaten.


  6. Yes indeed! Where does all that leave Trudy?

  7. Oh dear..... the dynamics of relationships!
    Was an interesting post.
    Maggie x

  8. Good for him, taking his health seriously and getting his weight down. Would Trudy be happy if he had stayed his original weight and had a massive heart attack? But yes, where does that leave her? Does she join him in his exercise routine or carry on doing her own thing?

  9. Newfoundland fry up sounds great! And good on him for doing something about his weight - Trudy has a new man - does she like/love him in spite of?

  10. Good for Bill I say! Of course he is enthusiastic. He accomplished something very difficult and seemingly without the support of the person who has the most to gain from his recovery. He has successfully beaten a deadly disease.

  11. Fascinating the number of takes on this actual conversation. I was curious about reaction. I know my own.

    Thanks all!


  12. Gastric bypass is not the solution. He will begin gaining weight about a year or two after the surgery and will need another, if the surgeon is willing. The same thing will happen again. He will be going around desperately looking for some(one)(thing) to blame.

    What he needs most is psychological counselling. He has an "excess" addiction.

    1. And obviously Trudy is on the low-carb diet (/)and has much better manners than he does. Eat what your hostess has prepared, and don't make yourself the centre of attention.

  13. I wonder where the hostility towards Bill comes from in the other comments? He's made it 4 years post-surgery and is obviously doing very well. So he asks for a different meal to not poison himself - why isn't that okay? Here's a man who has finally learned to respect his body. He gets major props for that. Sad that his wife isn't on board with such a positive life change.

  14. I say good for him AND good for her...freedom ta do as ya please, can't beat it with a stick...though they may end up hitting each other with one if they aren't careful ;) LOL

  15. Bemused tolerance and indulgence is what I saw in old Trood. She was very much her own woman. I didn't delve into the psychology of it all with Bill ("it's not what you're eating, dude, it's what's eating you.")and I have no idea of any emotional symptoms he had. She was married to a cuddley bear and now she's got a stick who's constantly moving. Huge adjustment. I kept thinking: I hope they're in therapy.

  16. Bill is a broken leg away from a test of his gastric band.Six weeks of enforced non activity will test his will power.

  17. Bill is a broken leg away from a test of his gastric band.Six weeks of enforced non activity will test his will power.


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