I shepherd my energy carefully these days as I feel I'm falling behind. So the blog gets shoved aside for another day.
Tourism is a huge benefit to my life. Both the engagement with my PGs (guests) which feeds my intellect and the financial benefit which I rather desperately need.
Many ask me how I keep going with my health challenges and the demands of still having to make a living in my seventies.
My answer is: carefully (see first sentence). It would be fairly catastrophic if my health worsened now, as inevitably it will. I need to keep chugging until September when my load will lighten considerably, fingers crossed.
Therefore I prioritize. We just finished the Living with Chronic Disease series of workshops yesterday and I can't praise it enough. I've been asked to be a facilitator in the future but I've shelved that for now. I'm becoming more skilled at the art of saying NO.
I learned so much about accepting where I am and dealing a fresh deck of cards which encompasses my heath challenges, not focussing on what I used to do, but focussing on the now and making Action Plans for each day that are manageable and achievable. I had been thinking in the light of what I used to be able to accomplish but recognise now that I was doing far too much as a result and burdening myself with unrealistic expectations of what my day should be packed with and beating myself up for failure to do so.
The art of pulling back and the power of both Now and No are my new best buddies.
One of the incredible results of the workshop was our youngest participant (in his mid thirties) shared yesterday that his last hope was committing to the workshops for all 6 weeks. If nothing changed for him, he had planned suicide. We were all crying after he spoke. He has many challenges including his young spouse in a wheelchair (boy, perspective!) and he had absolutely no hope. Now he's attempting to live within his limitations and try one new thing every week and list his achievable goals.
I feel I've turned some kind of corner too, not clear on what it is yet. But more will be revealed, I'm sure.
I just know I feel so much more alive now.
And ready.
This sounds so great! How would one go about bringing such a workshop to one's own province (NS)?
ReplyDeleteI'll talk to you directly about this when you visit Annie.
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Looking forward!
DeleteYou learned a lot. Thank you for sharing. I'm copying some of these lessons as they are so valuable.
ReplyDeleteI can't praise the series enough DKZ. We plan on more meetups of the group.
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Seeing there is always someone who needs our concern more than us ourselves, FOR me, uplifts me and helping others my salvation.. I like your chart, I will snatch it , hope you don't mind! xoDebi
ReplyDeleteHelp yourself Debi. Yes his situation affected us all deeply.
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I've learned a similar lesson ... but it started with getting the dishes done "in the moment" instead of hurrying so I could get onto the next thing. It made me see how I'd have a list of things to do and how that list was unrealistic because it was overambitious. And because all the tasks on the list rarely could be completed, I felt a failure. D'uh. Now I don't expect so much of myself and I'm more content to be right where I am, instead of always trying to improve on Right Now.
ReplyDeleteI like hearing how you are managing all the changes and challenges, and am rooting for you.
-Kate
Thanks Kate.One of the things I learned as well was to "achieve' even the small stuff like a row of knitting or planting a pot of herbs. I was so dismissive of these tiny things before. Looking at my day now I realize I accomplish a lot more when I look at my action plan. Making up the tourist beds is huge for me with the pain I endure, etc.
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I could benefit from these workshops. I'm so glad they've been valuable for you. Thanks for sharing here. Fingers and toes crossed for you in my part of the world.
ReplyDeleteThank E. Yes you would have been a most welcome part of our lovely group. It was amazing.
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Bless you
ReplyDeleteI know my problem
accepting
I am trying
but still not there.
Your sharing is needed by this one :)
I'm going to send you the book Ernestine.
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Probably a good thing that you've scaled down your activities a little and no longer try to cram in as much as you possibly can. Sometimes saying NO is the only way to keep your sanity and peace of mind. How others react to your NO is their concern not yours.
ReplyDeleteI find it's not hard anymore. It was for a while. I needed practise. 😀
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do not think my comments are going through ??
ReplyDeletewish so something like that here in my area
but I continue to learn from you.
Looking forward to the book :)
Yes, they're coming in Ernestine. I will forward book to you this week when I get to Post Office :)
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Recognizing our limitations whatever shape we're in can be a challenge in these elder years, but I would be the first to say doing so with medical issues you describe really dwarfs all else. Glad you're caring for you by focusing on the now, becoming better able to identify unrealistic expectations of yourself and being able to say no. I slowed myself a bit in various ways as I continued working until a couple years ago and know how I felt, but I wasn't having to adapt and cope with your medical issues or those of some you describe here. I have the utmost respect for your accomplishments.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joared. I'm seeking all the outside help I can get also.
DeleteI had a good session yesterday with a dietician for instance.
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This is so good to hear! Really happy for you. I know you will be OK. I, too, am much more focused. My will power comes and goes (strong today), and I take advantage of that, getting necessary tasks taken care of.
ReplyDeleteI admire you so much Hattie as you are in a much more fragile place than I.
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Good gracious. I hope the young guy in your group gets some help.
ReplyDeleteThat young man reminds me of some people in my life who make me feel grateful for what I have despite being in my seventies with all attendant problems. I am glad that you feel that you are turning a corner. Yes, it will happen and it will become clear in due course.
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