It's Day 5
A gradual sliding down the scale of energy to multiple unending naps and barest participation in a life much restricted.
Grandgirl and partner are out of quarantine and I am unable to participate in the celebration. Two (yeah two) interviews with CBC on two different topics had to be cancelled. As my computer also crashed and I need the large screen I've had to cancel tax clients too. And my podiatry. And other stuff. Life cancelled. There's a title.
Life is brutal sometimes. I tried to get hold of my doctor today but being Monday lines are constantly busy.
My big tests are on Tuesday 25th coming.
I'm not worth much, I don't wish to see anyone. I finally consented to Grandgirl dropping by and then agreed to Daughter. They cheered me up a bit. They've booked a weekend away for all of us next weekend. Fingers crossed. It will probably mean just changing beds for me. *Hollow Laughter*
Mentally I'm a bit of a mess. Crying at the drop of a hat. Finding passive distractions when I'm awake. Knowing that I've been fighting depression for a while. Understandably.
Should we/I write about such challenges and downward spirals?
I made a long journal entry yesterday but haven't read it.
I note many bloggers don't write when they are suspended in illness and pain and mental disruption. And then they fade away. And I wonder.
I'm going to continue writing as much as I am able, I've decided.
I am grateful for the small things. A couple of texts from friends who care. My daughter and granddaughter who respect my boundaries (I have difficulty asking anyone for help but they have found a balance that seems to respect that and not be intrusive or demanding). And I truly hate being "seen" when so low.
Any words of support would be lovely and feel free to talk about your own challenges and concerns about personal health, aging, and well being.
And the last time I was "out" in my neighborhood I took this pic of the rowers out practicing for the coming regatta. You might have to embiggen.