Friday, May 10, 2024

Blurt on Old Age and Community



What I didn't expect when I took on the position of Chair of our Tenants' Committee was the level of enthusiasm and engagement at our first couple of meetings.

There was no problem with securing a secretary and a treasurer and a vice chair and a liaison person with the social committee. A speedy agreement on our mission was established. 

Frankly, I was surprised at the different life stories and backgrounds that bring so many to the table of mutual benefit and co-operation. 

There are 5 women and 3 men on the board. All in the same age bracket. 70 and upwards. I expected some misogyny from the men, being of the age of more patriarchal dominance, but so far I've seen none exhibited which heartens me completely. None over-talking the women, everyone listening and respectful.

I am not a social butterfly in the building for I am a gregarious loner as long time readers of my blog know. I do not participate in all the social activities here apart from the odd BBQ or Seasonal Communal Dinners. The fact that I was voted into this position continues to astonish me. I have only a select few co-residents in the building that I would call friends. I have very strong boundaries on those with whom I engage on a familiar level and discourage doorbell ringing and unexpected "drop-ins." 

But it really struck me after the last meeting a few days ago that elders have so much to contribute on a communal level when given the opportunity.  

We have a seniors environment that often resembles a boarding school with cliques and infights over the tiniest things. As I've mentioned before, I have the kind of face that everyone tells their secrets to. So yes, I hear about the spats and romances (you'd be shocked!).

But with expanding their worlds into the bigger picture, kindness and working, even a little, for the benefit to all, these elders show a different, side, a better side.

I'm hoping my perception doesn't change. 

And if it does, only for the better.

15 comments:

  1. Wonderful news. Long may it continue - and the community thrive.

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    1. I am very, very hopeful EC, I had to cast out all prejudgment on assuming this undertaking.
      A few have told me they are really enjoying it. One got herself a new computer and printer, etc.
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  2. This is a lovely undertaking. I'm in the same sort of community, and also am the loner, occasionally gregarious. I am involved with only one committee, the garden committee, and that only for the purpose of seeing a red mandevilla growing in the atrium. I'll stay respectful of the committee, unless...

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    1. I would love to have you on our committee Joanne. Our gardening committee comes under our purview now and I have to say they do a splendid job each year. We are blessed with great grounds here. Rolling hills, lake and ocean. What more can we ask? Greenhouse and all that entails have been funded as well. With raised beds for the veggies and herbs.
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  3. It seems you have things well in hand in spite of not being a social butterfly.

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    1. I think it helps River, in not knowing anyone in a familiar way. Unknown quantities, LOL
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  4. Good to know the men didn't show any obvious signs of misogyny. Surprising when they're all seventy somethings and brought up in a very different age!

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    1. I have to admit I was surprised Nick as I was expecting it. But not a whisper of it in the room.
      XO
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  5. Seems like you're in a good spot, everything under control. I, too, have learned through our local senior learning center "that elders have so much to contribute." They (we) have knowledge, experience, perspective, and often some great stories to tell. Good luck with your Committee!

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    1. Thank you Tom. And great to see you on board the blogboat again!
      XO
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  6. Oh, wonderful news. May it continue like this.
    And are we, who are told all the stories and secrets and squabbles ... always the loners? ... do we smell different, or does everybody simply suspect that we do not tell on them, being loners?

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    1. I agree Charlotte. And a big one: we don't take sides. I listen but never take sides. But have sympathy phrases, like that is so sad for you, etc.
      XO
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  8. I feel like men 70+ have had time to appreciate the women around them and maybe some of the misogyny has been worn off.
    I hope you enjoy the committee and things continue to run smoothly

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  9. I have no doubt that you will do an excellent job. And don’t tar all of us over seventy males with the same brush. Some of us never were misogynists.

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