The act of being creative (for me) is healing and validating.
Today, January fled the scene and February opened her unpainted canvas with green grass and dazzling sunshine. And warmth.
I recognise, as if for the first time, that any kind of creativity requires discipline and the perseverance necessary to take apart and begin again. And the concentration required is a reprieve from repetitive hopeless thoughts.
It was thusly with a new afghan I am designing and knitting for a friend. I treated myself to some new wool in those "new" colours (pumpkin - everything old is new again) and cream and an oceany mix and I took the time to design and measure and swatch and started it and then recognised about 6" into it wasn't going to work. So rip, rip as I watched "J. Edgar" which says a lot about that particular movie. If you feel compelled to read my review go here.
And I started all over again with an adaptation to my original design and this time it worked.
#4 Bro has a valuable connection to someone who may be interested in a book I wrote so I will explore that opportunity along with others. And keep plugging away at writing and revisions and editing.
Being curled into a ball of grief has its upside. Feeling the feelings is necessary in order to clear the darkness and let in the sunshine.
Thank you February.
I am so sorry for your loss WWW. Trite as it may sound, I think the best tribute you can pay is to carry on and maximise every opportunity in life.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the book. I like the pattern and yes, distraction may not take the pain away, it dulls it until we are ready to move on.
ReplyDeleteLaura:
ReplyDeleteIn a way I am honouring her as she never had time for people's compassion for her. Ergo our last conversation when she told me she was more worried about me handling what was happening to her.
It's good to hear from you Laura :)
XO
WWW
Thanks GM, I don't normally work with 8mm needles but this seemed to be what was needed. My friend is my "Irish mammy" and this sense of "largeness" will suit her beautiful living room. I will of course post pics when done :)
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
When my mom was dying, one of her greatest concerns was the effect it would have on her loved ones. Your friend loved you enough to worry about you; that is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWhen my friend's husband died suddenly, I spent the first week out in my camper, scrapbooking and collaging. It was very therapeutic, as I was not quite ready to go to her and it gave me the space my spirit seemed to need in order to prepare myself for the days I would spend with her.
Try out the recipe for a grief bath that is on my blog (click the image under "Need a Hug?"). You may never know if it really helped/supported you, but it won't hurt, and ... I believe it does comfort and strengthen us. OK, me; I'll just speak for myself.
-Kate
Would that our February in Michigan's U.P. were as green grassy and dazzlingly sunshiny as yours! So glad you're feeling more positive. Time heals - though sometimes it can take its time.
ReplyDeleteSJG:
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind comment and link. I found it therapeutic to build a FB page in her memory and post pics and the family have also come on board with it.
XO
WWW
RJA:
ReplyDeleteAnd leaves scar tissue as well. Some losses we just don't "heal" from, the void is so enormous. But yes we do carry on. Changed but in a good way.
XO
WWW
Need instructions to once again
ReplyDeletepick up the needles :)
Take care...
OWJ:
ReplyDeleteMaybe start with something simple?
XO
WWW
I don't think you liked that movie! Did you see Quiz Show? I loved it!
ReplyDeleteI love your words that describe the beginning of February. I shall meditate on them and hope that I benefit.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are on the right path!
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