See Part 2 here
See Part 3 here
See Part 4 here
I offer you the above exchange to reflect the humour that is present in our ongoing texting. I am so grateful that it occurred to me to show her how to text. I have to reign myself in as I want to complicate everything. For instance, I wanted her to get internet on her phone and stopped myself. Why? I asked myself. Keep it simple, stupid. This one step into technology is just fine for her. Perfect in fact and she is delighted with it. She texts me twice or three times a day. Little updates. For that is all there is to life, surely - the small stuff.
Lana is very present in the moments, recounting small incidents such as the Canada Day fireworks in the field behind her house last night. One of her very frightening moments in NB in our stay there was when she couldn't recall a single detail of her house, the front, back, interior. It was a blank slate. She has lived there for over twenty years. I confess to being frightened too. How awful not to recollect even the straightforward things such as one's kitchen or driveway or bedroom.
She is going to check in with her doctor again tomorrow to make sure he's on top of the specialist situation. He had put a priority on it and has been her doctor for a very long time so knows her well and she likes him.
No more can I do apart from offering her love and support from afar. I'm enjoying our wee texts to each other throughout the day and evening.
We have a rainbow ribbon of sisterhood connecting us.
This series of posts has moved me immeasurably. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSheila
It has also helped me tremendously in writing it all down and coming to terms with it. I thought if it can only help one other person it would be tremendous.
DeleteThanks Sheila!
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I, too, have been moved (sometimes to tears) by this series. Friendship is a beautiful thing....or, as one of my very favorite quotes puts it: Friendship is a sheltering tree.
ReplyDeleteAnd we had our tree in NB Jennifer and it was so good to her in the mornings keeping her in the day. Wonderful analogy.
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The entire quote is: "Love is flower-like; Friendship is like a sheltering tree" and it's by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. :)
DeleteThank you Jennifer!
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I have that saying on a small quilted wall hanging (I use it as a tablecloth lately) my mother made!-Kate
DeleteLovely Kate. It is like a sheltering tree.
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I can only echo Jennifer and Sheila in their comments. I've never before seen the quote about friendship being a sheltering tree. Apt in this situation. xx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, isn't it E? I value my friendships, the few that are left (so many have passed) highly. A sheltering tree indeed, a port in the storm.
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Maybe the doctors can do more for her. Fingers crossed. Glad you are on a level of conversation now that is needed. Hugs to you both.
ReplyDeleteI sure hope so and I'm aware there's a new drug too that can help with the anxiety around the memory loss. Apparently the anxiety is one of the more horrible manifestations.
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Supberb series of posts, WWW! Long may your "rainbow ribbon" stretch on, and on.....
ReplyDeleteThank you so much T and I will get back to your blog for those ear worms (LOL), I'm nearly finished my intense - and well paid - project here, ever conscious of how well my brain works in both recollecting and implementation. I'll never take it for granted again.
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I never would have thought of texting in this situation. So glad you are showing us a new way to help. And I too am moved and appreciative of these posts.
ReplyDeleteI feel fortunate I thought of it. It keeps everything so immediate and also a reminder list in black and white. Her notebooks were totally out of control and gave her terrible anxiety before she bought yet another one and so on and so on.
DeleteThank you Mary!
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That is a remarkable innovation and that it works is short of a miracle. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIt possibly could be an idea for many with memory issues, Ramana.Daily I see it working with her. And it forces me to interact with her exactly as she is. And not react eitger if she seems to be ahead of me which she was this morning LOL
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Texting is spot on in this situation. I’m in a slightly similar place; having tried email and WhatsApp to try and fill out our chats I’ve realised he is happier with little single sentence regular texts. So helpful to read this. Xx
DeleteAnd so easy to access with little "tings" to let one know a message has arrived!
DeleteI'm so glad you've discovered it too!
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After my friend's husband died suddenly, I went to stay with her for a week or so. She turned me onto smartphones and texting, and I came home and bought one and made it a habit to text her at least once EVERY DAY. It was a great way to be there for her without having to be on the phone, which neither of us would have enjoyed for long. In my mind, it was making sure she knew I was there for her every day. I think it helped some. -Kate
DeleteIsn't it incredible Kate? I'm finding it is such an easy way to connect and follow through with her.
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What a wonderful and touching five part story. Blessings to you both, and thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words Carolyn.
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That’s a plus that she is able to recall how to text since short term memory often is an issue. When teaching her, it’s wise that you remembered KISS — keep it simple, stupid! Glad she’s been to Dr. to address her issues as safety would be a concern. This is so hard — humor is the only way to survive — laughter and music!
ReplyDeleteI'm having a wee spot of trouble with her followups as she is off on different tangents like blood and urine analysis but I am staying *briefly* focussed on the main issue.
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I went back and read the whole set together. Dementia is a cruel thing but I'm so glad she asked you straight up and that you were able to tell her your observations. She's going to need a friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks SAW.
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