Monday, July 06, 2020

Screaming Into the Void

I'm going to call her Tess, not her real name.

She drinks too much. She's old. She's a very pretty, feminine, soft looking and sounding woman but very conniving.

If she runs out of booze she will find some simple unquestioning neighbour to take her to emergency to get her pills until her next pension cheque. She's running out of obliging neighbours. Her daughters have her number and refuse to engage with her when she gets telephonitis late at night and harangues them on their failures.

I wouldn't want to be inside her head when she wakes up of a morning for this is how she immediately goes on Facebook with many expletives:

Tess inhales her morning swallow
Sorts out the thrum of her inside hollow.
She hits the keys, all caps and spleen
And shouts the world to smithereens.

And this is the kicker - I so admire the restraint of the responses:

Have a good day Tess! Heart emoticon
How's your garden coming, Tess? Flower emoticon
Enjoy your day! smiley face emoticon.

It brightens my morning, it's hard to explain. She says terrible things, sitting firmly on her pity pot with a long list of those she hates or have offended her or died on her.

But the responses never vary, all kind and normal sounding in the face of such abuse. That's what makes my day.

Human nature is magnificent.

28 comments:

  1. Tess sounds sooooooo much like my mother. And how I wish I had been able to respond in a positive way. I failed. Often. And still berate myself for those failures.
    Human nature is simultaneously appalling AND magnificent. And I need to remember and focus on the latter.
    Thank you.

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    1. Tess is pitiable and I would be more like you in responding with "get a grip" blah, blah. But honestly the kindness sent to her must calm her somewhat. She is more to be pitied than blamed.

      XO
      WWW

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  2. It sounds as if she has been indulged throughout her life.

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    1. Not not really. An abusive dead husband and a lover who abandoned her a few years back. Her drinking is her Achilles' heel.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. In spite of all the miserables in the world, there are far more people who don't force their own troubles on everyone else every morning. it's one thing to tell the truth about your experience, another to bitch and complain as a habit. glad to hear it's not getting everyone who reads it down. -Kate

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    1. It's almost funny Kate. She hits out even at the lack of boats on the water when it's a good fishing day. I'd post them here but they would be recognizable as her. She has a unique style. Calls most of us lazy bastards kind of thing.

      XO
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  4. That would make my day.Tess could be my grandmother, sans expletives, and the respondees, her children.

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    1. LOL Joanne, there are Tesses everywhere it seems. I often spurt my coffee when I read her. Sometimes, if it's late at night one of the the daughters posts "Go to bed now, Mother!" And then there's an eff off, badly and incoherently spelled. She has this angelic appearance which it makes it all the more startling.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. I like to think I am kind but I would stop being kind to that. I'd probably hide her, actually.

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    1. No I can't possibly miss the morning episodes. They are bordering on insane. But I know her neighbours look out for her. And her garden is beautiful in spite of herself.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. Replies
    1. Yes, the stoic neighbours and friends are quite wonderful.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. My mum had her pity pot too, but I don't think she was as bad as Tess. She never had a computer anyway and wouldn't have done any facebooking. She did hold grudges though, for years and sometimes forever. I remember a note inside a photo album she left me, "You couldn't find time to visit all these years? Well, now it's too late!" I threw that away. She knew I was four states away, with small children, a miniscule budget and I don't drive. With hubby away on army manouvers a lot, how did she think I was going to travel? I forgave her, I knew many of the reasons she was bitter.

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    1. Oh that is so sad, River. She sounds impossible. When they're your own mother it is so difficult. What a terrible thing to leave a note too. I would have been crushed that she was so bitter and unforgiving.

      XO
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    2. She had her good side, I remember several times...with a smile.

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  8. The different kinds of people in our lives makes for interesting times indeed. Variety is indeed the spice of life. I will make only one exception to this and that is toxic people who try to gaslight me.

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    1. I agree Ramana. Tess has never targeted me and it would be a different story if she did.

      XO
      WWW

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  9. Well, I agree with Kylie. I know I am kind but I would not engage or encourage this type of behavior. Just wouldn't read it.

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    1. I can't resist Ain't. It's like a train wreck I can't pull my eyes away from the latest mini-explosion but it's mainly the kindness of the responses that enchant me. I wouldn't have that kind of restraint.

      XO
      WWW

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  10. To be bitter and unhappy - people avoid such people.

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    1. There aren't too many left in her life, I believe. I live at quite a distance from her now so I just view it from afar and hope she gets help some day.

      XO
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  11. Tess may have grown up among some very manipulative and nasty people, or may have married one. Not an excuse, but the sad fact is, narcs ruin people. Then again, Tess may have ended up malcontented without anyone's help.

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  12. I think there was a bit of a pileon at one point and a huge birth family which meant she was neglected. I've spent a little time with her. She dresses her dog like a human, a whole wardrobe of clothes, fancy stuff. She's very lonely.

    XO
    WWW

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  13. I don't understand those who have "a long list of those she hates or have offended her or died on her". So much negative energy that could be put to better use. I'm amazed so many people even both to respond to the constant outpourings!

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    1. I believe there is a huge amount of compassion thrown her way every day and I am hoping it will lighten the load she is carrying. The booze is not helping.

      XO
      WWW

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  14. My mother-in-law was a difficult woman, too, lashing out quite often and unexpectedly and cutting off most of her family and all of her friends. I could take it better than my husband, who had grown up with her, could. Some physical as well as verbal abuse was involved. In her case, she grew up raised by a sister because her mother, living alone after my mother-in-law's father was imprisoned, was going to put her in an orphanage. She longed to be the beloved center of a family, and any hint that anyone wanted to be other than in her orbit at all times would send her into a tirade. I felt sad for her, but I was wary, too, as I should have been. Her good moods weren't trustworthy.

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  15. Oh that is such a terrible story Linda, how awful. We can feel compassion but it is so difficult to hold hard when the person is abusive and unpredictable. One must protect oneself. And that is what Tess' daughters are doing. One can only take so much.
    XO
    WWW

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  16. I often wonder at the pain behind all the anger for people like Tess. I admit, I tend to be non-responsive to posts like hers, though. I just scroll on by.

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