My mother will be dead 50 years next year. I've had difficulty in re-reading letters she sent me. For context to so many letters, I was an emigrant to Canada in 1967. Which I've written about many times on this blog. Without fail, Mum's weekly letter would arrive with all the news, even though on the date of this letter, February 18th, 1971, she had less than two months to live. And knew it.
"My dear M----
I am late in replying to your last letter, I got caught up in lots of chores trying to get things done around the house as it's only three weeks from today is J==='s (brother) wedding. D--- (my 13 yo sister) got a lovely cream trouser suit,it's really nice on her,it will look pretty on her at the wedding.
I must get a hat yet, I may go into town some Saturday morning with Dad, it will be very quiet then, and the shops will be slack.
M--(her pet name for me)the green blouse will be nice (I had bought her her wedding outfit when I went back with my kids a few months before this) as I will try and get a light brown hat to match the suit you bought me, don't you think that will be nice?
The wedding will be formal, so no new suits to be bought (she means for the men and boys of the family who'd rent morning wear). I hope this letter is readable as I am rushing for post.
A--- is having only two bridesmaids, A----(another brother) is best man and KR (friend of J--'s) is groomsman.
M-- they will love the sheets (my proposed gift for bro and bride), get them a good big size and do send them before the wedding as you said yourself before, presents that arrive late are not half as exciting, do your best anyway M--.
L & S (cousins) sent a lovely dinner service, real good ones and such lovely soups with little handles, that's their third dinner service. I have not seen the other ones as they are over at A--'s aunt's place. I told you I think that D----(her sister, my aunt) gave them Waterford Crystal, a 1/2 doz tall stem glasses and K----(another sister) gave them blankets. From this on, I expect the presents will come in.
G.O'C, (a neighbour) gave a lovely carving set, pearl handles. He is coming to the wedding too. I was glad that J---(my brother) asked him. (G was a troubled young man, a good friend to J--- who suicided a few years later.)
P & C (my parents' best friends)are coming and she rang to ask me what presents were they after getting as she would get a set of china or cutlery. So I said to please herself, M--, I'm sorry if I keep talking about the wedding, we are so caught up here.
I was down at the doctor's yesterday and when the wedding is over, I will have to get these nodules off much as I hate the thought.
Give my love to T (former husband)and O & J (daughters) all my love M--xxxx you are never far from my thoughts. Mum
PS P(her best friend) was asking for you today, she really cares for your O. Mum."
I was feeling particularly sorry for myself today, the pandemic, worsening mobility, just general woe-is-me and I thought of my mother and all she suffered with a horrible form of cancer. Multiple amputations and thought to re-read some of the immense correspondence i have from her. She wrote as she spoke and I hear her words and feel her love in every line. I can't imagine what she was going through leaving behind her young children and still writing so lovingly to me in Canada.
So lovely to have this to remember her by.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to go through them all Chris. And my father's whack of correspondence which were total news reports :)
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Weren't people much more stoic and uncomplaining back then. Not to downplay anything you suffer from, but don't people so quickly complain about any little twinge.
ReplyDeleteCarrying the cross Christ gave you was the all encompassing philosophy then.
DeleteHe's sure pissed off at me.
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It's hard to keep the stiff upper lip. Past Covid, we still have the West Coast on fire and the mustard in office. I do know the sense of presence their writing gives us, our parents, and most especially, our mothers.
ReplyDeleteYes, Joanne, I really felt her presence today as I was so miserable and hauled out the box of her letters.
DeleteIt changed my mood completely.
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That's a lovely newsy letter. It's nice that she kept in constant touch and up to date with what was going on there.
ReplyDeleteMy family weren't big on letter writing, I'd occasionally get a letter from Mum saying she was coming to visit, since I never brought the children to see her. (From three huge states away with babies! I was supposed to pack them up for a daytrip?)
It's a wonder how grandmothers can forget the chore of lugging children great distances. I did it (alone) with mine as mum was dying but my gawd, it was something else, pre disposable bottles and diapers!
DeleteI shake my head when I look back as you must as well River.
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Even getting baby food in Ireland was a challenge.
What a truly wonderful letter/series of letters. It must bring her right back to you and provide heart balm - despite the twinges of grief that come with it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt does EC, I resisted this for a long time as it caused me so much tears but now is the time. It is staggering that it is nearly 50 years ago. Her loss has been immense for all her children.
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This truly brought me back! Looks like my Mom's writing. We came to Canada in 57. This letter reminds me of the ones sent by my paternal grandmother. I transcribed all the letters my mother had saved including my Dad's letters to her when he had to go work out west. How I wish I had the other side of those letters.
ReplyDeleteThey are now preserved in a Word document.
Doing that made me destroy any personal letters I had. I don't want anyone finding stuff when I'm gone.
And those wedding presents made me laugh. I first got married in 72 to an O'C!! I got the Waterford and sheets and so forth. The sheets were blue/green flannel and the dye would come off them.
The Waterford I finally gave away when we downsized.
Second wedding in 87 friends got together and gave us Royal Doulton china in pink and green (shudders!!) that I gave to a "friend" (no longer - long story) when we downsized.
Thank God for money gifts nowadays, so much easier for everyone!
I agree Jackie. All the china and Waterford I got and oh gawd the sterling silver has long been donated. Today's lives are so less complicated. You brought memories of striped sheets but mine didn't leak, they were pastel. Also those negligee parties, outfitted for the groom, trails of lace and peek-a-boo nylon. Not to forget the kitchen parties with all the kitchen stuff (ha!) presented, pots and pans. We emigrated by liner so had all our settlers' effects in massive trunks provided by a well-connected great aunt.
ReplyDeleteAmazing times of accumulations. Best abandoned.
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It is amazing that you kept those letters. Incredible. But, the love is there, isn't it? Blessings.
ReplyDeleteSo many moves and they survived Gigi. I was blessed with a hand-carved and painted box from a friend yonks ago so they box held them through all the trials and tribulations!
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I only have one letter from my Mum and she wrote it at a time when we were not getting along. I've tried to read it but I just can't, but I can't throw it out either.
ReplyDeleteI understand Annie. I would break down before opening my box for many years but yesterday the calling was so strong. And I'm glad I did.
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It is remarkable that you have kept those letters with you. My mother used to write regularly to me but, I never saved them and now I regret not having done so.
ReplyDeleteIt is obvious that you have inherited her fortitude.
You are too kind Ramana, but most times I don't feel the fortitude at all. I will derive more inspiration from her as I go along and read more of her dear words. And feel the love.
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