I find dreams enormously revealing. In fact I am quite good at analyzing the dreams of others, and a blog friend, sadly missed - who has gone into the vast stardust - and I exchanged our dreams at times as she also had the gift of dream insight.
Now, I'm on my own with my sometimes baffling dreams.
Recently, two nights in a row, in sleep, I lost my car and the pursuit of my car was fraught with difficulties and challenges. One night I could see it at the top of a cliff and tried to climb up but kept falling backwards. I had a huge Newfoundland dog and endeavoured to have her help me by towing me up the cliff to no avail as she kept falling too. I woke in despair, carless.
The next night I was in a familiar small town in Ireland which had a parking lot for shoppers and when I went back to the lot, my car was missing. I was told by a cop that I had the wrong parking lot, there were more parking lots, I had to check them. So I did, I kept wandering around, exhausted knowing I would never find it as I knew this town had only the one parking lot.
Dreams are utterly symbolic and tap into our subconscious deeply. I wrote about this dream in my journal as I knew it was powerful and I didn't want to forget all the details.
And then it all fell into place.
Recently I resigned from two pretty intense projects for many reasons. And now I am noticing I have lost bits of myself. I was changed in a way I couldn't define.
And then it hit me. I have lost the drive, the force, that has always informed me, made me, ME.
I need to find it and this is my challenge at the moment. I need purpose.
I need to find my drive - my car.
I tend to dream in conversations rather than images. That was a truly powerful dream interpretation. I do hope that stepping aside from those projects makes a lot more time for YOU.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too, EC, but having a life of purpose was so important to me and without I am meandering a little, a little lost.
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Wow. A powerful understanding. I understand it. I am in that place myself right now.
ReplyDeleteIt could be an aging thing too Joanne. I'm not sure. But it is a very weird feeling and actually I am feeling physically ill about it.
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I hope you do manage to find some drive or at least a direction to keep you going.
ReplyDeleteThanks River, a rejuvenation would be a very good thing.
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I hope you rediscover your drive. I think what drives me is simply the urge to make some sense of the world and all its weirdness. Which is a never-ending project!
ReplyDeleteI agree Nick I'm a bit of a news junkie myself. And history too. It's hard to make sense of today though, we are in uncharted territory.
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Mary, my daughter has just given me a graphic novel set in your part of the world.
ReplyDeleteIt's called Ducks - Two Years in the Oil Sands.
I'm finding out some pretty gritty stuff through the medium of words and pictures.
I'm sure you're already aware of it.
It is a problem in later years finding a purpose and I don't know if I have an answer.
As long as my grandchildren are young there is a purpose to help them and their parents.
After that?
My favourite idea is helping an elderly person; don't laugh my mother-in-law used to do it in her 80s!
I haven't read a graphic novel yet YS but that title is intriguing. So much money made by Newfoundlanders on the oil, so much spent too.
DeleteI am looking at my purpose now and getting more opportunities, I will report on these soon.
Meanwhile I am taking a break! I should add keeping engaged with my own writing.
I don't believe there is a greatgrandchild in my future due to the collapse or extinction forecast which is sad. This tiny planet needs to shake itself awake.
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I worry a little about anyone sitting around day and night watching TV or playing videogames but I'm sure you are more than busy enough just letting the days and nights unfold before you. (that's how i am anyway.) i worry a little that they are depressed and/or bored. (there's someone i'm worried about right now but he seems to have to figure it out himself; i don't know what he needs or wants and it can change drastically throughout life can't it.)
ReplyDeleteI tell you what though, I don't like committee work and meetings either. I don't blame you for letting yourself off those hooks.
Yes, I am pretty selective now in what I will participate in or originate. Small coffee chat-brainstorm tomorrow to assess a series of articles on senior poverty along with photographs.
DeleteI do believe we all need a purpose outside of screen sucking whether TV or devices.
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I used to write down dreams but now sleep is so precious to me that I will do nothing to interrupt it. Can’t imagine that my dreams would be worth writing about now. I hope you find a solution to the problem posed by your car dream.
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you Annie, and yes, you must need your sleep after your illness. I will take on projects that inspire me, but I do need full autonomy as things get really out of hand sometimes with far too much input. I need to drive my own car in other words.
DeleteStay well.
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