I can't seem to settle into my own skin.
It's been hectic since I got back, workers still crawling around the house, municipal matters piled up while I was gone now scream for attention and the plans for finishing off Book 3 and sending it around recede into the background. I don't think my brain could cope.
Yeah, I'm living in chaos.
On top of that my android phone appears to have been stolen while I was gone. The wee shelf where it lives and sucks power is bare. Daughter hunted high and low while she was staying here. As did I when I returned. That leaves me feeling queasy.
Dozers and other machinery tear up and down next door building monster summer homes for the sons of the local merchant.
Discombobulated is what I am. Restless and irritable. And anxious. About what I couldn't tell you. Pileup it feels like.
This could be seasonal, or it might be the noise and banging around me not to mention the crunch of scrapings, dust and debris underfoot. Summer people are now leaving for warmer climes and that makes me sad.
Oh yes, good news in that a play I submitted to a St. John's theatre is being "considered" for production.
And no news on the artist's grant I applied for.
I can really see now how elders/artists living alone make a monthly choice between food and heat.
Seriously.
Nudge: To the Universe - grant, please, now. I need this grant!
Then it will be loose garment time.
I am similarly on edge, hitting it really hard yesterday but better today. It looks as if we may lose a whole town to a lava flow!
ReplyDeleteThe one thing that really makes me anxious is uncertainty. Given the uncertainty about what they're building next door, plus your phone disappearing plus wondering whether the book will get finished - the anxiety is understandable. Do you not have a few tried and tested ways of reducing it, like deliberately slowing-down, or having a glass of wine, or telling yourself everything'll work out in the end?
ReplyDeleteHattie I need to catch up with you, your blogposts were over my brain quotient and I love to read them all so I cracked the Minimum Posters first.
ReplyDeleteLava, I saw your info on FB, frightening. Snow in Calgary too. Waaay too early.
Anxious. Yes.
XO
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Nick:
ReplyDeleteCarry me out on a plank if I ingested a glass of wine my friend :(
I would need to run away to get away from it all. Decisions around here just about every hour and returning products to lumber yard, picking up more paint, etc. etc.
I think I just need some downtime from vacation and it sure ain't happening. I have to draw up fire regulations for a new community centre today as it is being rented out :(
XO
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Living in chaos always gets to me.
ReplyDeleteI've ben jumpy in my own skin lately but I think it's more about relationships than anything else.
SAW:
ReplyDeleteYes relationships can do that to one along with the sun action at the mo.....
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I have no solutions to offer, try to rest, my friend. I am at the end of the phone if you want to chat.
ReplyDeleteThanks GM, I will call you soon, promise, once the upheaval in my house is put to rest and I can take a breather. It is all go-go-go at the mo.
ReplyDeleteXO
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The universe is listening.
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