I have to watch myself.
A dear friend maintains that as we get older our character defects become more emphasised and more entrenched.
Evidence corroborates.
If you're messy and cluttered the habits get worse as the energy dissipates with which to deal with them. The debris piles up in the face of decreased desire and perhaps a lifelong ennui. Whatever the cause.
I have to watch my inner judgemental self .
Particularly around drunks.
I was at a dinner party Saturday night. I should have left earlier than I did. Before it descended into loud arguments and hot debates and facets of friends that turn antagonistic/weepy/belligerent/ridiculous. Take your pick.
None of them will remember any of it in the morn. But I will. Alone in my rigid sobriety. Apart from one other. Who also engages in these mindless debates. He hosts and can't go to bed and leave his living room to an iffy scenario of mess and slop.
I sometimes have difficult with timing. Part of me doesn't want to desert the sinking ship of drunken debate and leave him alone on his island of sobriety.
And for a while, before the ocean of booze tips everyone into incoherence, the chat and food are enthralling and interesting.
And then.
Timing is everything. I can't seem to assess the best time to leave.
I think: I can't believe these people, all in their sixties, still behave like frat boys/girls when it comes to booze.
And I feel my mouth prune up and inner tut-tuts bang around in my head.
But I do manage to escape before the spliffs get passed around.
Not that anyone notices.
M:
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing more depressing than to be sober at a party where everyone else is drunk. You can't even get sanctimonious satisfaction out of your sobriety; nobody will notice.
I stopped drinking quite a while ago, and I also stopped going to parties. I'm afraid they're a lot like love and marriage; I don't do that stuff anymore either.
One's thoughts are one's own, and it's best that we don't let them become words often.
ReplyDeleteOn another note the clock on your page that gives the Newfoundland time made me curious. Newfoundland is the only north american region that doesn't follow the standard, one-digit time change. Also didn't know before that the region didn't join Canada until 1949, and had decided to use that time zone 14 years before.
Yuk. I hate drunks. Been drunk once in my life. never again.
ReplyDeleteYou could tell the host (poor chap) that you will be leaving when it gets embarrassing. Or you could help him shovel the bodies out.
It would be a shame to miss the party altogether. Why do people drink themselves into incoherence? Just think of the hangover!
Alcohol is a major menace to elders. It is best not to drink at all.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy a drink, but can hug the one glass all evening. I am fortunate that most of my social occasions happen in Dublin with a younger generation and so far I have yet to see them misuse alcohol. They are full of fun and way more responsible than my peers were at the same age. People forget that as they age, the body does not tolerate large amounts of booze.
ReplyDeleteHere at home in NI, many of my peers look in horror if you offer them an alcoholic drink. They are a dry lot in more ways than one!
This was the hot topic over dinner tonight as there are so many expatriates here who believe that "living the dream" involves drinking themselves stupid. And I'm talking about early retirees from 50 upwards.
ReplyDeleteI rarely go to parties now and keep an eye and ear out for daft behaviour and a rise in speech volume. That's when we sidle out the door.
I can't think of anything more boring than being with people who have drank too much when I am just sipping on my cocktails (as I must; the hangover is not worth it). They think they are hilarious, and I just find them silly and dull.
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya.
I'm surrounded by a sea of close relatives who struggle with alcohol, one who, in his mid 50's, has lost everything and regularly threatens and attempts suicide. I somehow escaped that genetic disposition, and, so far, my children seem to have, too, and I am so grateful. Because of that family history, and because my chronic illness requires me to take medications that can do their own number on one's liver, I've elected just not to drink. When I'm at a party with our social group and one or two begin tipping over into that drunken state in which they repeat the behaviors that made them the life of the party when in their early twenties and are not so engaging now that we're all in our sixties and seventies, I just feel such sadness.
ReplyDeleteAll my family and circles of friends know that I neither drink nor eat after sunset and so I am never invited to dinners! Where I have to go due to societal compulsions, since I am already famous, I make a quick exit once I have marked my attendance.
ReplyDeleteMarc:
ReplyDeleteWell said. I need to weigh the good food and brief coherent conversation before committing myself to the entire evening.
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SFM:
ReplyDeleteThere's no end to the learning curve here on this blog, my friend :)
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Friko:
ReplyDeleteNo I don't hate drunks, being an alcoholic myself who no longer drinks :)
But I get so edge around the behaviours which were never appropriate and made worse by advancing elderhood.
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Hattie:
ReplyDeleteI see the effects on these older citizens and it is striking how dry their skin is and the effect of it on braincells.
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GM:
ReplyDeleteYou move in a good social circle. Most of mine are take it or leave it drinkers or non-drinkers, this particularly scene is family members of the host and I have great sympathy for him.
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Pamela:
ReplyDeleteYes, I need to be more in tune with the rise in animation and noise.
and leave.
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SJG:
ReplyDeleteSilly and dull. Except to each other :)
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Linda:
ReplyDeleteYes sadness. Me too. Some openly admit they are alcoholics and then proceed to descend into a state of paralysis in speech and behaviour.
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I hope you reward the attendees with a few scattered autographs on your way out to your limo, Ramana :)
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I'm equally baffled as to why people drink such absurd quantities of alcohol, and why they think drunken conversation somehow becomes smarter and funnier. It doesn't. I was hangover-drunk a few times in my youth and I vowed never to repeat the experience. Since then I've never had more than a couple of glasses of wine at a time. That's quite enough to befuddle my brain.
ReplyDeleteNick:
ReplyDeleteAnd the voice of sanity. No, I was never one to imbibe carefully being an alcoholic, now sober. So I understand the blabbity blabs of it all but that doesn't mean I have to sit there and see myself, redux :)
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