Labelling, self-labelling I mean, can be extraordinarily useful. I was struggling with the Black Dog - and thank you so much to all those who commented in support. It is remarkable how the ether world and caring others in the real world can offer so much comfort and understanding.
A man I worked with said to me he was going to this six part workshop on chronic conditions.
chron·ic
/ˈkränik/
adjective
adjective: chronic
(of an illness) persisting for a long time or constantly recurring.
"chronic bronchitis"
synonyms: persistent, long-standing, long-term; More
incurable;
immedicable
"a chronic illness"
antonyms: acute
•(of a person) having an illness persisting for a long time or constantly recurring.
"a chronic asthmatic"
•(of a problem) long-lasting and difficult to eradicate.
"the school suffers from chronic overcrowding"
synonyms: constant, continuing, ceaseless, unabating, unending, persistent, long-lasting;
I asked him what his condition was if he felt comfortable telling me and he said "Anxiety" - he's had this basically non-stop since brutal orphanage days (Five years old at incarceration - Sweet Jaysus).
I thought for a minute and said: I have a chronic condition too.
And then: I think I'll go too.
So there. Just affixing the label to myself I felt a load lift off me. And the workshop? I can't say enough about it. 2-3 hours each. All of us (Including the two facilitators) have chronic conditions. All of us suffer periodic depression. All of us had difficulty labelling ourselves.
There is such solace in just saying it out loud to a bunch who totally understand. And boy, are there degrees of "chronic".
I got off lightly.
More on this in the next few weeks as I learn more.
Sounds like a happy chance that you heard about the workshop. I hope it helps. It's quite alarming the number of people who have chronic conditions nowadays.
ReplyDeleteYes, I was amazed also at how hidden it is, I knew some of these people and had no idea they were suffering.
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I might read that book...
ReplyDeleteI think you would benefit from the workshop Ernestine, it is very supportive and we all share at what works, what doesn't. Sleep patterns, creative life enrichments, etc. I'm looking forward to this week's.
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I look forward to reading your reports on this workshop series!
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to learning more too Annie.
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Way to go. Support groups method is a proven success.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think the two leaders having chronic challenges puts us all in an even keel too.
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What a good thing that this workshop became available just when you both needed it and were receptive to attending it. I think we've all had times when we needed the counsel of a good friend or trained counselor that we weren't receptive to receiving.
ReplyDeleteSuch a fluke BB. I'm delighted. Synchronicity. Truly.
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After my Josie died I asked my doc for something to ease the pain - he gave me 14 tablets of lorazepam which I find it delicious although I seldom take one as he said they are addictive. Just a thought. Give yourself a hug.
ReplyDeleteNo. Not for me, BB. For many reasons. But thanks.
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Good for you. I think just being reminded that you aren't alone in something helps.
ReplyDeleteEither misery loves company y or there's strength in numbers, lol.
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I recently watched an account of a young adult girl's extreme anxiety over work, food, new situations, new acquaintances etc. I'm afraid I was about to dismiss her as a "snowflake", the current term here for a younger generation of people who seem to be upset and offended by everything. I'm glad I watched it to the end because she was reliably diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder as a result of childhood trauma. Childhood traumas have so much to answer for. Take good care of yourself. xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Anne. We have no idea of the burdens some people carry, do we.
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Good to know you're feeling better WWW! I can imagine what a relief you must have felt, from that sweet camaraderie arising from much mutual understanding. I look forward to reading further of your meetings.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is amazingly supportive and the techniques are quite wonderful, I will write more.
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I could swear I left a comment here...I look forward to hearing more about this as it is something I could use here and do not have. To answer your question, cat is still alive and happy most days as the hospice vet came and discussed things and said not yet...She was so taken with him that once she became aware of my particulars, she offered to help and she and her husband have been a godsend. I still need to send him via taxi to vet once a week and his regular vet is aware of the help so things are okay for him for now. Primary vet charges but no getting around her corporate bosses. Trying to catch up with things and going to a wedding Saturday. Best to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update E and I hope the wedding went beautifully and that Jacob is still in the pink :)
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I know this is the wrong thread to put this, but can't find the other:
ReplyDeleteToday a woman owned upholstery business brought her price down nearly half in order to re-do my 60 (she guessed) yr old chair, which rocks, so I can alleviate the pain. What with the back full of metal brackets and screws, and the leg swelling and foot rot and wot not. Nearly half. So now DD and I can afford it. Because I still wouldn't be able to float it on my own.
No! I said. Really. Oh she'd been thinking of me all night, my pain, my chair needs (next comes the 25 yr old recliner, where is the only place I can sleep when it's bad...). She's going to do that too, because mechanism failing. Oh she'd been thinking of me all night. After I said, I can't do it I know you're worth it but I can't do it.
And she called back with her idea. Almost half. Something in the way she spoke resonated. Are you from down east I ask?
Newfoundland.
WWW I am in tears. How can I thank this woman for this gift she's given me. There are real and wonderul people on this Earth, and some of them leave Newfoundland to be fairies elsewhere.
Marg's Upholstery, Edmonton. Marg is long gone sadly, but Cathy runs the business the way lets her sleep at night.
Adding to the magnificent gift I've been given I should add, Cathty is not the owner, but decided on her own, to "just break even". I suspect how she does that is she has given up any earnings for herself on this. The other chair, well I will pay full price, if and when.
DeleteIt's even more wonderful what this Newfoundlander has done. I can tell you having had this disability since a young girl, how rare this is. Most disability needs are not covered by health insurance, neither is home care, or people coming in to cook, or aids one may need to keep going, or health monitoring in home. It's all $$$$. What Cathy did for me, of her own volition and at her own cost. stands out all the more in a world of pay as you go, and fall by the wayside if you can't.
Oh wow A, I'm so happy for you. I must tell you this happens all the time here. Newfoundlanders have this generosity of spirit I've never seen anywhere else. It brings tears to my eyes too. So often.
DeleteBiggest hearts in the world.
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I know from experience that talking to just one person who understands can help immensely. I, too, look forward to hearing more about your workshop. I'm glad your Black Dog is backing off some!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carolyn, it has run off for a while and I'm trying to force my thoughts into acceptance and positivity.
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There are things only fellow sufferers can understand.
ReplyDeleteSo true Hattie. And most chronic conditions are invisible.
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another bad word is "abused" Wise. For the past few years I have had enough nerve to say "well, there were 5 kids and we were all abused". Such interesting reactions. A specialist not long ago jumped on me "oh really, and what do YOU call abuse?" she said with a smug look on her face. I have to say I think she is Jewish and may have spent time in the "camps" which is a different kind of abuse - maybe not as personal? However her reaction is more or less par for the course. I said "well, I watched my mother take my 6 year old brother's hand and put it on the hot wood stove [I demonstrated, she winced!] to teach him not to play with matches - I call that abuse, to both of her children". She entered it in my chart and we both dropped our prejudices and liked each other. I can't imagine why anyone would think someone is lying, exaggerating or fabricating such sins in any way - and especially why WE feel we are sinning by speaking of the nastiness that happens all to often in this world. Over and out!! take care ...
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