Thursday, November 29, 2018

Energy

Or alternative title: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I have loads of good intentions. Like correspondence. Something that is now overwhelming me. Sometimes in a day even the texts on my mobile overwhelm me. Like I don't want to be rude and fly off a two word response, especially if others have taken the time to write an epistle, so I ignore. hoping for a massive power surge into my brain and fingers and well, that never happens so then I receive a plaintive You Okay? (or rather in text speak: U K? which can throw me wondering why the United Kingdom is part of some text quiz) which is a normal question launched to a non-responsive at my age. For we can drop suddenly. So then I have to answer and address the previous text too.

Emails are another story. Sometimes I receive lovely long ones from blog readers who have recently discovered me and write glowingly and sincerely. Now I could just simply thank them but I feel obligated to write something longer, after all they've made this effort and I'm mindful of common courtesy. But long finger is where that goes.

The perfect time never comes, of course. Today I was cleaning out my inbox. And I discovered some of these "good intentions" emails, lying forlornly and unanswered. I sound organized. "Cleaning out my inbox" when, in fact, it hasn't been fumigated in about 4 years.

Within the bowels were emails from two old lovers I hadn't bothered with either. As they depressed me. I re-read them, they were lists of health issues and the health issues of family members - distant ones even, ones I never met - and I knew why I hadn't responded, never one to get into I-can-top-that-itis in the medical ailment olympics enjoyed by many both near and far as they age. Plus I have difficulty in imagining once agile and creative lovers now prostate-prostrated. Call me callous, but gawdess, please leave me with rose-scented sheets and morning mimosas and full heads of delicious hair.

I'm finding also it's harder and harder to gobble up life when presented in big chunks. I could only attend only one of two sequential events last night. I chose a play rather than a launch of an acquaintance's book at the university. I'm at the age where I'm pacing myself. This came on me all too quickly and viciously.

This is the fog outside my window right now. Normally my view has a wee mountain with a tower at the top, a lake and a slice of ocean. I've always loved the obliteration of fog. More so as I age. I wonder why that is. Ha!

22 comments:

  1. "But long finger is where that goes."

    Er, does this mean "But F that!"

    Just checking! I'm not always sure you aren't using some colloquial phrase I've never heard before ... like this one.

    Kate

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    1. A very common phrase in Ireland - procrastination.
      https://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/32/messages/427.html
      The origin is fascinating too :)

      XO
      WWW

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  2. I know exactly what you mean! But I have found that not answering email is a double-edged sword: one loses connections on the one hand, and one's inbox becomes much sparser and easier to manage on the other. They are always telling us that social connections in older age are life-preserving, but they are sometimes exhausting to maintain...

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    1. True dat, Annie, I sometimes look at inbox though and think: when I have more time I'll come back to that.It never happens but today I did weed some more.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Nice photo. As for the email, just do what you want to do.

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    1. I love your attitude, Gigi. Not sweating the small stuff.

      XO
      WWW

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  4. I know exactly what you mean about it being harder to gobble up life in big chunks, as we age! Once upon a time I was eager to jump in the car and do a 10-day or more road trip at the drop of the proverbial hat. Now, I think twice about taking a couple of nights away from home, or even an hour's trip to a neighbouring town to shop for gifts.

    My inbox doesn't fill very fast with personal mails, but yesterday I spent hours going through the past year's stuff, trashing reminders, notifications from Quora and other websites, etc etc, finished up with acute keyboard finger!

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    1. You're more ahead of the game than I am. I never know what quite what to do with friends who have died and their emails in better times.
      It's weird.
      XO
      WWW

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    2. One day your computer will croak and all will be gone. Then you will know.

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    3. Yeah GP I hear ya. Erasure and finito. The trivia of our lives.

      XO
      Www

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  5. Respond as the spirit moves you — or not. Perhaps it doesnt really matter in the scheme of things. I, too, have saved emails as I did some letters from those who are gone now. Haven’t gone back to read any, but scrolling across their name brings a flood of memories and maybe that’s enough. Will all go when I go unless the computer goes first.

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    1. I'm not alone Joared. Those memories are poignant and comforting at the same time. And it's good to live in those times for a few minutes.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. I too love fog and probably more so with aging. Perhaps it is the obliteration. Waking up on a foggy morning is lovely, driving in it not so much. Love your photos.
    Marge

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    1. The fog in the city of my birth was dense and toxic from all the coal fires. But these dogs are gentle and clean. I love them. But not the driving in them.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. I figure you answer the emails you really want to and if you put them aside for later, it might be telling you those are the ones you aren't really inclined to engage with. That's okay, isn't it?

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  8. I live a very prosaic life. My email inbox is just as stuffed with ads and solicitations as my regular mail. Anyway, you have the perfect view -- a mountain a lake and the ocean!

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  9. What Agent said. If emails get forgotten about, maybe it's for a reason. The important ones will always get answered.

    Nice photo.

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  10. I clear my email daily, especially the spam folder which fills to overflowing very quickly. Most of what arrives in email is advertising if I've bought something online I get emails telling me since I bought "this" I may be interested in "that". No thanks, delete. It only takes a couple of minutes before I start on reading the blogs.

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  11. I guess this is why Gmail has recently introduced a useless sidekick to the 'Inbox', called 'Snoozed'. Personally, given all the adverts that arrive these days I'm quite happy with the 'Delete' button. 'Snoozed', indeed. For me they may as well have called it 'Forgotten'.

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  12. Welcome to the club. I can relate to your post almost to its entirety including the rather pensive photograph at the end as, our mornings here are misty too and I find it difficult to identify friends walking by.

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