I did find a similar article in the New York Times but it's not as detailed as the Time essay - and I am relying on - ahem! - my memory about the original article.
Excerpt:
At 93, Sister Nicolette Welter still reads avidly, recently finishing a biography of Bishop James Patrick Shannon. She knits, crochets, plays rousing card games and, until a recent fall, was walking several miles a day with no cane or walker.
I was driven to write this by a visit to an old friend yesterday who is in a third level care home. She is 93 and until the last year or so was taking care of herself in her own home. Reading and playing complex card games and knitting sweaters for her pensioner sons. Then one of her sons died. And the family hadn't told her he was dying. And this shoved her over the edge into mental disarray which has remained.
My grandmother, then in her seventies, was similarly afflicted when my mother died. Within a short period she retreated to an alternative world where Mum was still with us and Granny, our darling granny, never surfaced again.
My aunt, a bridge playing, golfing entrepreneur in her nineties, vanished into her own bottomless dark hole when her youngest child died at 49.
As to my friend, she is like a skeleton in a wheelchair, her caustic P&V with which we were all familiar has vanished, replaced by this gaunt shell with haunted eyes and no memory of us, her former familiars, but a clear memory of her dead son visiting her yesterday.
An unknown percentage of these "long goodbye" diseases is down to circumstances surely? None of those nuns lost a child and I wonder if this has a huge bearing on our emotional and mental abilities in our later years. As I have witnessed, heartbreakingly, first hand.
If you search for "nun study" and "David Snowdon" and "1997" you should find a direct link to the original article (peer reviewed journal "The Gerontologist" 1997, Vol. 32, issue 2, pp 150ff) that set the ball rolling.
ReplyDeleteThe original title is "Aging and Alzheimer's Disease: Lessons from the Nun Study".
Thank you Sabine.
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It is a truly cruel disease. For the patient (at least in the early stages while they are aware of the dissolution) and for those who love them.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the shell which remains of the person I knew and love, hits hardest.
Yes, EC. It is more troubling for those who love the victims as the victims are unaware of how they have moved away mentally.
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Terrible disease! So sorry to read of your friend's condition, WWW. I feel (guessing only) that there will be a variety of "triggers" for the onset and speed of progression of this condition. The shock of the death of someone close could well be a significant trigger. I seem to recall reading, too, that sometimes the onset of cancer can sometimes be linked to severe shock of one type or another. Deeply felt shock must surely adversely affect the body's natural defense system. Nuns are sheltered from many kinds of shock to which we, out in the wild, are vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteI remember cancer hitting a few of my younger (comparatively speaking)friends after heartbreak - death of a child, unexpected widowhood. Always in the breast (the heart). I would never discount such an effect.
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I'm told that Alzheimer's often runs in families, so I'm glad my parents didn't have it, although they did die early, in their 70s from different cancers. I remember my mum telling me my grandmother was fine until a year before she died at 96, so I'm hopeful that I will be too.
ReplyDeleteI really wish a cure could be found for this as I really dislike the thought of people staring blankly at their relatives while the relatives cry inside at their loss.
Yes it is such a thief both of the observers and the observed, River. My friend is reasonably happy with herself. Playing bowling (!!) from her wheelchair - never a bowling type of woman before, her caustic self would have despised it. But the foundation of the friendship and relationship has vanished.
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Are these diseases down to circumstances? I really don't know. My mum had been gradually declining mentally and physically for some years, and becoming less and less interested in the outside world. But her decline didn't seem to be linked to any outside influence, unless she was secretly depressed by my sister's disabling illness.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say that Nick. Hereditary is a huge factor. But I also believe that keeping our brains finetuned is essential. I remember reading in a decent magazine that watching too much TV has a really deleterious effect on brain cells. - i.e. passive behaviours. I'm noticing even in myself that reading has a slightly more bit of struggle to it. Especially with multiple characters. Ditto with new knitting patterns.
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Mary, I’m reading Remind Me Who I Am, Again by Linda Grant which looks at “profound questions of identity, memory and autonomy that dementia raises” according to the dust jacket. Reading it almost in one sitting as it views a mother’s decline from all angles. A very thought provoking read.
ReplyDeleteOh I must order that Anne from my library or Abe if they don't have it. Also Jann Arden wrote a great book about her mother's decline."Feeding my Mother."
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I've always thought that grief surrounds some people like a fog that they are unable to see through making them deprived of stimulation and prone to mental side effects. If one is young enough they often survive but sometimes as a shell of their former selves. It seems that the brain is like the rest of our body and becomes more susceptible to most everything as we age and so we are less able to deal with loss and grief and makes sense that nuns would suffer less as they have less to lose due to their way of life and religious calling and beliefs. Their whole religious life is one of accepting someone else's will and they have no strong(as strong as parent/child or spouse/partner)ties to other persons. What kind of loss would be similar for them I wonder? The loss of their faith I would guess.
ReplyDeleteI think it shows how much most of us need each other especially our loved ones. Its scary that I can think of no way to protect ourselves from this. Can't protect from a potential loss. Would it have made a difference if she had known her son was terminal I wonder. Time to adjust and work through might have made a difference. Sudden loss seems more debilitating. Lots to think about.
Yes lots to think about Candace. I am also aware that in convents nuns fall in love with each other (more than we would imagine) and the loss of such a partner would impact them also.
DeleteYes, I wonder too if she would have managed the loss a little better being more prepared.
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Dementia and Alzheimer's disease are what I am concerned about, too. If David dies, I think I will die too, either physically or mentally.
ReplyDeleteGigi, we never do know though do we as to how we will react to a tragic life event. Perhaps we then focus more on other loved ones, children, grandchildren. It is hard to say, we really can't predict.
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If my mind starts to go then I’m ready to toss in the towel, but will I know it’s happening, or will I believe it’s true if others tell me?
ReplyDeleteExactly, Joared. Do we ever know, seriously? I know I have the illusion at times that one day I might race again. Seriously. If we start to slip mentally do we think ah, momentary, tomorrow will be better?
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I think that dementia is complicated. My father had it (non-Alzheimer's) and there were good days and bad days, but I do not believe he suffered. The suffering was mostly on the part of his family, particularly my mother who was his sole caregiver in an isolated situation. I spent time with a friend's mother who had dementia and again, I do not believe she suffered. If anything she became more gentle and patient (my father too). She dealt with her confusion as best she could and her family attempted to protect her from confusion. The ones who become more angry and irritable probably have the worst of it, simply because the people around them are less inclined to be helpful. My experience with my Dad and my friend's mother allows me not to fear dementia, it will be more of a problem for those around me. While I do not wish to be a burden, I do think there are ways to care for people with dementia that can prevent that.
ReplyDeleteI agree Annie, I have only observed the softer, gentler versions of those who had it. Never the angry and contrary.
DeleteAnd there are ways of understanding and caring. For instance, I had to stop my friend who was with me from asking our friend questions or saying goodbye. I learned a lot from visiting others. Questions are terrifying and saying goodbye is confusing.
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I seem to remember an article about dementia and nuns -Golly, your headline is most certainly clickbait!). Not that I read the Times (hate Murdoch) but it was probably mentioned on the BBC. Didn’t they have their brains dissected and some were found to be totally clear of any signs of disease?
ReplyDeleteIt happens to so many now, I am terrified that I could become mentally unfit. Being on my own that would be a disaster.
Me too Friko, tho I am now in an independent living seniors' complex so that I can access some assistance if needed.
DeleteI couldn't cope with running a home.
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I was caregiver to my late wife who developed dementia due to multiple cardiac and cerebral infarcs. I have some first hand experience of what it can do though I was told that my wife's case was a milder form than many others. Luckily she did not slip into any other kind of mental illness and died without causing pain to herself or anyone else in her life. I am convinced that she was as she was due to her very active younger life that she escaped a more severe form of dementia.
ReplyDeleteI also spent a weekend with a relative whose father was in full blown violent Alzheimer's and saw first hand how devastating that can be to the entire family.
I was part of an active support group for caregivers and have come across many cases of both demetia and Alzheimer's causing all kinds of problems for the care givers.
I would not like to end up with either.
Me neither. I remember you mentioned your wife was an artist. But then again Iris Murdoch developed dementia and she was brilliant in her writing life. There's no way of knowing. And I doubt any of us would want to.
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Blondi Blathers has tweeted out the link to this entry, believing it's of relevant interest to many. -K.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the mention Kate.
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I watched the slow decline of my Dad and it was heart-breaking to see someone so smart gradually become like a child again. The idea of that happening to me scares me more than my cancer.
ReplyDeleteOur daughter died twenty years ago at 31, of a heart attack. I know I've not been "me" since, but my grandson needed us right then. He was only 7 when he got up one August morning at 9 a.m. to find his mother lying in bed..."asleep", he thought. His dad had a small business to run, and in a month Rob would start second grade, so I needed to be there. There to get him ready for school, get him off the bus, to be his grandmother, to be a wife to my husband and mother to our grown son and his family, and so much more. I later overheard my husband tell someone how very much he hurt when she died, but it "killed my wife," he said.
ReplyDeleteI can't know what I'd have been like now, but I feel I try to be as "present" as I can -- or know how to be. Try to do "normal" things, etc. I've always been a pretty quiet person, but my husband I talk and laugh about things, we love our son and his wife and children dearly. We love our daughter's son and our great-grandson dearly. I just am not who I was -- that's so vague, I know, but it's the truth.
My best friend died in 2016 of Alzheimer's. Her mother and older sister died from complications of it before her, and she once told me there was a good chance she would get it, too. Her husband told me that (in the years before it got to the point she had to have someone with her all the time), she told him she thought she must be going crazy. She had fought lung cancer since 1996, but Alzheimer's got her in the end. She never got mean, never cursed--she was never mean when she was well--she just lived in another world. I'm just so glad she always remembered me, remembered my name. It's a terribly sad disease.For her, I think most certainly it was genetic.