Wednesday, August 24, 2022

The Busy Business of Old Age



Being old is a full time job. It takes up a huge amount of head space, time bargaining, spoon counting, and energy. Add to that mobility issues and transit challenges and inflation and you have quite a storm.

(1) have a large quantity of pills in my day. I have them delivered. But nothing is automatic. I do a weekly pill sort every Sunday into these compartmentalized gizmos. And phone my doctor when getting low. He faxes (you read that right) my requirements to the pharmacy. But every single time, they forget, he forgets, one of the pills, so I have to phone the pharmacy and ascertain the status of the missing pills. My specialists don't/can't access my list of medications but proceed to tweak some but neglect to tell my GP. I have to then go to my GP and show him the *manual* changes the specialist has made to these meds. GP is informed by LETTER a week or so later of the changes. My province's health care system's data base is 30 years old and even though every year they budget some millions for updating it, it never happens. So digital management of my medical needs is absent. I should NOT have to run around organizing my own medications. Everything should be on line - the pharmacy, the specialists, my GP, me, all interacting on the ether.

(2) My GP is leaving to move to Nova Scotia as his spouse works there. I am seriously heartbroken. Our health care system here is in crisis and finding another GP is a huge challenge as there's an unconscionable shortfall in doctors. My existing GP is trying to find me a doctor due to the ongoing management (weekly) of my health issues. He's an incredibly involved compassionate and caring doctor and one of the best I have ever had. But he leaves in November. 

(3)I have fairly decent days and fairly awful days of pain, breathing, movement, take your pick. It's hard to plan. But I find if I have a "busy" day I need to rest the following day. Today is a rest day as yesterday was a family dinner out in Petty Harbour, a lovely spot, see pic below that I took in the later evening. Today, everyone is going off to have a meal at a place I love but I knew the car-ride of a few hours along with socializing with a pile of people and the car-ride back would do my head and my body in.

(4)Accessibility planning. Lately I found that those we were meeting were at the most distant table in the restaurant, already seated. Great view but what felt like two miles from the door. Last night was even worse. They get to places early and were there when we got there. I had to traverse the main floor, up a terribly rickety staircase and then traverse the second floor to their distant table - and dear gawd, they chose one of those dreadful high tables with stools. Luckily I had my cane, George, with me so I could clamber on and off the stool. I find they were remarkably insensitive to the needs of a visibly mobility challenged person but chose not to say anything as one of them is, tragically, terminally ill.

(5)Bathrooms. I always need to plan and clock the presence of. Need I say more?

(6)Tests, xrays, scans, this could be almost full time. And each one takes a day. Organizing a helper and possibly a driver as the main hospital is a nightmare of parking and accessibility with endless corridors to navigate, thus necessitating a wheelchair volunteer. No candy stripers of old here to help out. Often Daughter has to take the day off work to help out and I feel so bad about this as it eats into her vacation time. Another stress factor for the old. Leaning on our children for assistance and trying so very hard not to feel guilty about it. 

(7) Multiple other issues but this blog post is too long as it is. Inflation. Food prices. Budgeting. Medical expenses not covered by health care (in home lab work, physiotherapy, dental, hearing, podiatry, pandemics (yeah, plural). And more I am forgetting about. Fear of "The Home". Lack of home assistance for those who wish to stay independently living.


How are you all finding the busy-ness of aging?





34 comments:

  1. Sometimes I almost feel guilty at how well I am aging. I am seventy-nine years old, can still lead a 10km nature walk with no difficulty, and other than a very low dose of medication to control blood pressure, I have no other pills, capsules or tablets to organize. My doctor told me recently that I should have a bone density check and she arranged it for me. The result - in her delightfully technical opinion - I have the bones of a racehorse! I realize that I can't stay this way forever, but I sure intend to try!

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    1. Well done David! I had a bad fall on the ice a few years ago which put an end to comfortable mobility. At 70 I had completed a 10 mile road race here. Arthritis set in along with other issues post fall. We can't take anything for granted. I have good bone density too, mainly from my years of road racing and hiking.
      XO
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  2. I surely identify with everything you wrote, maybe not quite to the full extent. For me the biggest challenge is mobility. I can still walk from the parking lot and down a path to the office where I volunteer at the university. Today I will attend a class which will require me to walk a little farther. I have to focus on my feet and the path I am walking. There are benches so I can stop, which I probably will do once.
    Anyway - yes - aging requires a lot of work and attention.

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  3. I too clock benches Debbie along with bathrooms. Constant vigilence is very tiring, isn't it? I've never been so attentive to the trials and tribulations of younger people in wheelchairs, what challenges they have on sidewalks,etc. And bathrooms another hurdle as so many are not handicapped friendly at all. I find the low toilets (kid friendly, ha!) a huge challenge for my back.
    XO
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  4. I feel bad for you, reading all of this and slightly embarassed to say "ditto" to what David said. I'm five years younger than him with very well controlled RA, both through meds and daily yoga. I don't have "the bones of a racehorse" though and have been warned by my doc to be careful not to fall! I would say to value every minute of your good days and try to muscle through the bad ones. Sorry to hear that the health care system there is in such crisis. Talking to my sister a few days ago she told me that it's as bad in Ireland especially with the huge influx of refugees which has completely overwhelmed the system. Good luck and I hope you'll have many more good days than bad.

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    1. Thank you Molly, I only went downhill at 72 so I've had a good run at life, I remember an old blog friend, now RIP, who lived to 83 saying that everything fell apart when she turned 78. Her last years were not good at all. So yes, treasure the time we have and muscle through the rough stuff. And use two good whine buddies I have.
      XO
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  5. Sigh. Some of this I recognise only too well. Some of it is without doubt in my future.
    I wouldn't/couldn't have climbed up on those benches though. And despair at the lack of co-ordination between doctors and specialists.

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    1. I keep thinking it should be far, far easier. In a perfect digital world it would be. Chasing meds should not be part of my day to day living I feel. The bloody stairs were pitiful too, grandgirl was really worried and went behind me, they were steep and narrow and a total challenge even for those who are spry.
      XO
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  6. Your are right about medications. One interesting complication with our system is that if the doctor electronically sends your prescriptions to your pharmacy, only that pharmacy can dispense them. I am sure there would be a work around in emergency situations, but still, it is odd. I take my paper prescriptions to my pharmacy and leave them there and order the drugs myself using the pharmacy's phone app and pick them up a couple of hours later. I think they can deliver if needed.

    Bad news about your doctor. I hope he finds a good replacement for you. A doctor you are happy with is a treasure to hold.

    It is not until you start to age that you appreciate how the difficulties of reduced mobility impact on people.

    Yes as the saying goes, never pass a toilet facility without using it or at least noting its location.

    Like you say about your post, my comments could go on for much longer.

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    1. Andrew; there would be a workaround as all prescriptions are online if you have your Medicare listed with your MyGov account I think. Even without that you should be able to have another pharmacy phone yours to check and be able to dispense your medication.

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  7. The doctor who ordered the test requiring frozen blood, downtown, apologized to me today. And told me he'd see me in a year, not the usual six months. I wonder if he hopes in a year I'll be totally immobile.

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    1. Well at least you had the apology. But a year at our age is unacceptable.
      XO
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  8. It’s a shame you felt slighted by the ‘host’s table choice’ but sometimes It’s difficult for people to take notice of other’s (known or unknown) disabilities when their minds are concerned with (to them) more pressing issues.
    And oh yes, asking discretely as you go into a cafe/restaurant saves many a dash when you need to go if you actually know where you have to go😊

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    1. And it does make me wonder, Cathy, if I was equally insensitive to the needs of others when I was flying around.
      XO
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  9. I am a bit concerned reading about the steep narrow staircase, was there no elevator available? That's poor planning! I agree your medications should all be available and updated digitally. We had "telehealth" available during covid, where we could phone our doctors and ask to have prescriptions faxxed to the chemist, but that's no longer available and I'm back to going to the doctor to get them renewed. It's annoying, but I am glad I am still able to do these things. I take very few pills daily, blood pressure, cholesterol and one for the heartburn the BP tab gives me. Then I have my asthma inhalers and that's all. I hope to continue with only those few "helpers", but really must get out walking more again as soon as the weather warms up.

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    1. I have those pesky kidney issues to be managed as I border on renal failure periodically which affects everything. Loads of juggling of those pills unfortunately along with the rest. I, too, hope to get walking it changes everything.
      XO
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  10. Your post makes me ache for you. I hope that things work out soon on the GP front. To answer your question in the last paragraph - The less said the better.

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    1. I too, try to ignore it Ramana, but now and again it overwhelms me. And then I right my sails and jolly (or muscle) along.
      XO
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  11. I get infuriated about that whole idea of going to the most inaccessible place. I have a friend who keeps recommending inner city eateries to me and I know she just wants me to experince the food or the vibe but public transport and walk is something i just don't do and there;s no way to park in the places she talks about.
    I see my mum doing this busy thing: oncologist, cardiologist, GP, pharmacy, dermatology, community nurse and on it goes......
    Just when peoplpe have the least amout of energy for it

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    1. Kylie, yes, eyes and calculations always on the accessibility. One can't fully enjoy and evening out in a state of exhaustion from trying to get there and then focusing (against our wills) on how to negotiate the route back to where we came from. I have decided to forego more testing, it's just too hard. In that mode I cancelled a bone-scan booked for Tuesday.
      XO
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  12. Oh, I hear you! I can identify with lots of what you are saying. My Pharma doesn't present the complications you describe so I sure wish you could get yours straightened out once and for all. Likewise, I hope your Dr. is able to find you a good caring physician to replace him. That would sure help your outlook a lot I expect. I am dealing with more than I ever imagined with mobility issues and the challenge of continuing to live independently. High stools -- there should be a law against them!
    Several years after feeling so pleased at working parttime 'til almost 80 years unexpected issues began and haven't stopped -- just periods of plateaus. Keeping some med appointments for tests a task or worse now. Family living across the country from me, local friends having moved away, died or both years ago surely complicates matters -- even getting other assistance limiting. As if that isn't enough, unique unimaginable problems with my abode and grounds have cropped up I could never have anticipated.
    So far, my mind still seems to be intact but I wonder if I'll even know if it goes? I'm laughing as I write that, but it is true, isn't it? People most certain they're quite sane often aren't -- isn't that right? Hang in there! I'm doing the same -- I think.

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    1. I think the stress of managing old age can play havoc with our mental health Joared. As mentioned to Kylie, I have ceased the testing. I will have labwork (home tech) to monitor all my internal chemicals but that's it. I feel so much lighter since I made that decision. All this testing was weighing heavily on me as it sucks exhausting days from me and leaves me grumpy and agitated for a few days before and after.
      XO
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  13. I, together, with my rheumatologist, had been managing my various auto-immune illnesses fairly well. I was vigorously active before they hit, and, with resting time when needed, managed to be fairly vigorous after, even through two brain surgeries. However, about two years ago, I had to go off one auto-immune infusion and try another, then another, then another whose supply was suddenly appropriated by the government to help Covid patients. Each time, it takes 4-6 months to build up to therapeutic levels and even be sure whether a new one is working or not. Through that time, I slipped backwards. In the last three months, I've had shingles, twice (can't vaccinate because of a prior life-changing reaction to a vaccination), a UTI, and an appendectomy. I still was up and going to the bathroom by myself within thirty minutes of waking up. Then I was sent home with a prescription for an antibiotic, followed by a raging C Diff infection the hospital, my age, my immunocompromised state, and the antibiotic gifted me. This one is whipping me, and my blood pressures are headed super high. My cardiologist has tried four different meds, but I have had complications with each. I believe in reassessing at each step of life, figuring out what's important and what brings me joy and focusing on what I do have rather than what I don't. I have a book to finish editing before submitting, and another just begun, but there is neither strength nor concentration to work on them. Or, to care much. My grandchildren do love to text and Facetime me, so there's that joy that continues. If C Diff doesn't kill me--I'm halfway serious--I know I'll find a way back, but it's a blow to one's assessment of one's worth when you're just an ailing body who isn't of benefit to others.

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  14. Oh Linda that sounds truly wretched I am so sorry. You've had so much to bear and I am amazed you are here to write about it. Concentrating is truly difficult when your physicality is subnormal and in your case waaaay subnormal. It's very difficult to keep the old chin up when beset by so much coming at you. I am glad you find solace in the grandchildren.
    The unpredictability of our health is a huge stressor in old age. And affects every aspect of our lives.
    In my thoughts.
    XO
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  15. Not too long ago I took a class on falling because I had a history. The class was not on how not to fall, but rather how to navigate the world safely and as painlessly as possible. And to ask for what you need. I Ä·now take a cane with me even if I don't need it and wield it so that people give me space. I don't go up stairs more than two or three and if there is no railing I ask for a hand. I also avoid but chairs when I can. People have bern very understanding as long as I let them know early on!

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    1. I follow a lot of these tips too Barb, I always ask for help with railingless stairs or steps (how awful they are, so unsafe). I would also add SLOW DOWN. I tend to be always trying to go far more quickly than my body is happy with so I bump into things and hurt myself (I'm on blood thinners so bruise badly). And George, my cane, is always with me.
      XO
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  16. Hi WWW, Annie here. Long time no chat/comment! Darn right it's a full-time job! You're folks think we're all lallygagging around when we're actually overwhelmed with the health-related stuff and sure wish we were lallygagging. I don't know if anyone has mentioned it but the reason for faxing is because it is so old fashioned it is actually quite secure. Except of course when the faxing person sends it to the wrong number… I've had specialists wait seven months or more to get around to reporting back to my GP, that one is very frustrating. Accessibility hasn't been a very big deal for me yet, although I now have to drive downtown where formerly I could walk. I did not realize how bad finding a place to park downtown was since I stopped walking.

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    1. So lovely to see you back Annie. I hope you get a handicapped parking sticker if you qualify. I have one and boy it saves my life. I run out of puff very quickly. I really though medical digital communication would be safer than faxing but I am always open to reasons why from those wiser.
      XO
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  17. PS, Annie here again, so sorry about the loss of GP! I know you had a really good one so it's a terrible loss.

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  18. Thanks Annie, I have actually cried in my sadness at his loss. Nova Scotia is so very fortunate to get him. He is truly one of a kind.
    XO
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  19. All that sounds like a tedious and frustrating routine. I was struck by your friends who seemed to have no awareness of your mobility problems and had given no thought to where they might sit so as to help you out. Or to actually help you. Luckily old age is not a big deal for me as yet. I have a few minor aches and pains and that's it.

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    1. You are indeed lucky Nick. One of my friends who may the table choices is terminally ill so that would contribute to the complete unawareness of my condition. No inquiries were ever made about it. And I get it. I shrink my demands (LOL) when others are more seriously afflicted as they are.
      XO
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  20. Oh dear me, I have just been to the surgery for my repeat prescription as well as a blood test. I am lucky that I can still move under my own steam with the occasional help of a cane. My back hurts but I refuse to give up altogether. I am also lucky in that the surgery doctor is part of the same practice as the pharmacist and changes go from one to the other without third parties interfering. I order my prescriptions either online or with the help of a pre-printed note which I drop off in the prescription box at the surgery. I takes about a week for the prescriptions to be ready for collection. There is something to be said for small village practices, we lack the "amenities" of endless choice of facilities. Hah!

    I find you are lucky that you still get to restaurants. I wish I had a group of people or family ready to take me for a meal out. On my own it is not only difficult but also a bit sad. So enjoy every opportunity offered and hope that people see you for the lovely and lively old lady you are and value your company - always realising that you might need a bit of help.

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    1. Small villages with small surgeries have their plusses and minuses. Out here on the Edge hospitals are a vast distance from the villages. So this complicates emergency care. One of the reasons I moved from my village to the city. But I miss it very much and the wonderful life I had there. I do hope your social life improves. Perhaps there might be a book club or film club?
      XO
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