Some setbacks health wise which have upset me.
So there.
I was too complacent perhaps with how my abysmal health for the past two years had turned around and allowed me to walk without George my stick, and Wally my wheelchair used for longer stretches. Does the Catholic guilt ever leave me, I ask myself, all those instructions from the Holy Nuns about not being proud, which covered a multitude of missteps, never taking pleasure in anything or God would turn around and smite you before snatching it away. Vanity. Victory. Holy God is in charge and will always knock you down a peg or two.
So last week was one of those weeks where every single doctor (three) visit had gloom and doom written all over it.
Finally, on Thursday, I sat in my car and hauled out the pity pot and sat on it for about 30 minutes in the backside of a parking lot which seemed appropriate rather than an ocean visit. What else can one do (unless you're lying to yourself).
Daughter and Niece cheered me up. I am so grateful for them both in my life. I haven't shared with friends, I feel quite on the verge of tears, and only with one dear blog friend directly. I am, as they say, processing.
I will write more of this when I can.
Meanwhile the Writing Workshop keeps me busy and engaged and quite out of myself which is excellent. Niece has planned a mango curry dinner for me tomorrow night and Daughter is taking the day off next Friday and coming in to have lunch and a bit of Solstice shopping (we do books only).
Life is as life is. Acceptance and a carrying on spirit is needed.
We all have unexpected downers, don't we?
Take care Mary. x
ReplyDeletethank you Anne, I am, doing all the do things. Suiting up and showing up
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Wow. Your city is truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAnd the nuns had it kinda backwards, as I understand it. Not to be proud in our own powers, but proud in what God can do through and with us brittle wessels. Happines and thankfulnes, gratitude, is what God wants from us, not pride and judgment of others I think maybe the nuns in days of old were too frightened of exuberance and joy. It is all part of the law of see-sawing / alternating vices .. call it what you like - the fighting what you least need to fight and promoting that which needs not be promoted. It's happening everywhere and at any time.
I hope you improve, and will pray for a speedy recovery for you!
My history and critical thinking Charlotte has made me a confirmed atheist (thank God *grin*). Thanks for your oh so kind thoughts.
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Hold your friends and family close ... and feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteWill do Tom, thank you.
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Sorry to hear of your latest health setbacks. I hope things improve again. And religion has absolutely nothing to do with your physical failings so just ditch the idea.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done. It's like deculting, even though I am an atheist, that complete brainwashing creeps in. The truly dreadful part of an RC childhood in Ireland.
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You do indeed live in a beautiful city. Very beautiful. It lifted my heart to see the photos and hope it does the same for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd a huge sigh at the set backs. When will they end.
Yes, it's gorgeous here EC and quite uplifting. Massive sighs all round and so unexpected.
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Stupid nuns and yes you never outgrow that Catholic guilt made worse by being Irish!!
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up!
I knew you'd understand Jackie, what a cult, catch us while we're young and indoctrinate that shame pronto. They do an excellent job of it.
DeleteChin up. "She salutes smartly".
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Here and hoping for the best.
ReplyDeleteSigned, Your Cheering Section
Thank you cheering section, I'm sure glad you can comment again.
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Carrying on spirit are wise words to say. So easy to do? Not always.
ReplyDeleteBook shopping sounds like it will be great fun.
Yes, it does, doesn't it? I already bought a few on line :)
DeleteAs my father would say: always have something to look forward to no matter bow small.
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I too was once a catholic and good catholic girls do not do what I do. If only one could get over the teachings buried deep down. I no longer believe in God (I think) but the the guilt stays. Why?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy what you have, be grateful for your dear girls and the good things they do for you. Ill health is what comes when we get old, nothing to do with God.
Exactly Friko my friend, so glad to see you back on line. We are all in the lottery game of birth and death. I feel so very grateful to live this long and to have such a really good life on the whole.
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The old Protestant Work Ethic is another great guilt inducer! Maybe a slightly lower level than Catholic guilt.....
ReplyDeleteOld age requires a great amount of maturity, which may be why it happens when we are old :)
And Jewish guilt is up there too. Religions are so toxic and anti-joy it makes me quite ill. And the imprint is always there though waring thin with age.
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Your city is so colourful! I like it. I'm sorry to hear about the pity pot, but happy to hear the writing workshop is helping and niece and daughter helping too.
ReplyDeleteI will never understand that Catholic guilt thing about pride and pleasure not being allowed. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would God make such a beautiful earth and not want us to take pleasure in it? Why would he not want us to feel pride in our accomplishments?
Exactly River, religion stops people just living in the now and finding uninhibited joy everywhere rather than looking to SkyGod for an afterlife.
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Earlier this afternoon I was comforting an abandoned by wife husband with exactly these sentiments - "Life is as life is. Acceptance and a carrying on spirit is needed." Naturally, paraphrased and embellished but with the same message.
ReplyDeleteMy tryst with a dog's teeth has also taught me the same thing.
Exactly Ramana, we cease to struggle and just accept. Difficult at times not to whine out the "why me?" but we continue to work on it.
DeleteI hope you're healing OK from the shock and injury.
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Oh hell, I am so sorry...Enjoy your time with family and take what you can from each day. I wish you peace and send hugs.
ReplyDeleteHell is right E, but one issue at a time, I'm trying to stay in the moment and just enjoy :) Thank you!
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Tried sending a comment a bit earlier but wasn't successful. Just touching base to tell you I'm still here. We used to visit St. John's quite a bit when living up in the northeastern tip of Maine. Some wonderful memories. Upsetting to hear that you are experiencing setbacks. Having spent several months dealing with my own problem, I can so relate to the see-sawing emotions. I just feel so badly that you're going through another difficult time. I too went to a Catholic school as a child. I also had a married aunt who lived next door to us who attempted training to become a nun. She wasn't successful & wound up married with a daughter but you can just imagine living so close to her. Yikes! It's wonderful to read all your readers' comments, and absolutely the best to have your daughter and niece nearby. Sending you the very warmest of wishes and hugs from the base of the mini-mountain in Maine.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are still here Regina. I should have known with a name like yours you were RC as well. Thanks for your good wishes and onward with your health also. So delighted your are familiar with our gorgeous city.
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I am so sorry that the doctor visits did not go well. What can we do when that happens? Only carry on as we always do. I am glad that you have a family that cares about you and tries to help you.
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful for my family here, Gigi, never a day goes by without a surge of thankfulness.
ReplyDeleteI have shelved my medical challenges to the side for now.
Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlett said.
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Sorry to hear about setbacks! It seemed like you were doing so well these past few weeks, I had hoped it was going to be a little more long-lasting. I had a very brief period of being fervently religious and then suddenly pulled out around age 13. Father was atheist, never pushed it but I guess it got passed on anyway. I have mother-guilt but that's about it. Just about every RC I know has horror stories of early education.
ReplyDeleteThanks Annie, it has been quite a blow. Yes, truly a horror story in Ireland, these cults should not be supported by government with tax free status along with running schools and hospitals. Thankfully many of us RCs have recovered from the brainwashing but it can still haunt a bit.
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Yes, we do all encounter unexpected health news, but you'd think and could have wished for a longer breathing space to rebuild stamina, right? I hope that mango curry helped, but I don't mean to minimize what you're dealing with by saying that.
ReplyDeleteEverything helps Linda, just being with the kidlets was wonderful and the mango curry, plus leftovers, cheered me considerably.
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I have been following your recent adventures, silently cheering and meaning to leave a "hooray" comment. I'm going to do that now as you regroup and rally with the help of family and friends. Take care ~
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