I transplanted the African Violets that I call The Three Sisters and they are thriving. I haven't been able to grow violets since my Toronto days (and a fine hand I was at it too) so am thrilled they like this eastern lookout.
I'm surrounded by sudden onset dementia lately. I don't even know if there's such a thing, don't want to know. Two women in the laundry room yesterday were completely baffled by the machine knobs. Women who were completely competent before. I had to go back to help them with the dryer knobs. A man I had a kinda "coffee date" with not too long ago was reported missing by his sister and the police found him wandering around the nearby lake looking for his car. 5 kilometers from his home, the car was parked at his apartment building. He is now in a home. I saw him about a month ago at the local coffee shop. Without even greeting me, he asked me for a ride downtown. I was on my way in the opposite direction and declined. He was odd, never looked at me, stumbled off outside as I watched him, puzzled, not realizing he was in a bad way even though he smelled to high heaven as if he hadn't washed in weeks. I feel weird about this. Is my compassion quota all used up?
I'm still not coming to grips with my seriously reduced energy levels. I take on too much and then have to bow off. The spoons theory needs to be honoured more by me. It's like I'm greedy for life in such an enormous way and then run into my elderly self, defeated and disgruntled and dismayed and disappointed. Not a good feeling.
PS Please feel free to join in on Free-Floating Fridays and link to your post on comments here.
Congratulations to your grandgirl for graduating with a Master's. No small feat. As for the compassion quota, just do what you can, no guilt there.
ReplyDeleteI am trying Gigi, so many worried people out there and I've noticed the desire to drive is evaporating from many (not from me yet, I still adore driving). A kind of listlessness has set in with a few of my friends. A disinterest. So I worry about them.
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Perhaps I'm one of your "sudden onset" peeps! Read here: https://dkzody.wordpress.com/2019/06/14/keeping-our-days-straight/
ReplyDeleteOh boy, we're all getting there. Just read your post.
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Congrad to your Grand daughter.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
Thank you Dora, so proud.
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Of course you are BURSTING with pride.
ReplyDeleteDementia (which can be a part of my disease) scares me witless. I think it is one of the cruelest of illnesses, taking away the person you knew/were and leaving a shell behind. A shell which needs a lot of care.
Love your African violets. I had them years ago, and you have reminded me how pretty they are.
Thank you EC. Dementia can strike anyone out of the blue, I was so alarmed at these two women who were perking around a short while ago. One not knowing she needed to push the button for the dryer and not knowing what level of heat was required. My heart broke.
DeleteYes those violets cheer me so much, they are so joyful in their new pots.
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Hi, just popped over from High Riser. I too an Irish born, on the far side of 60 and live in Toronto.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Jackie, I lived in Toronto for around 25 years in total. Loved the city very much, vibrant and friendly, though I hear the condo-ization is destroying far too much.
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Master of Economics! You have a personal financial advisor now.
ReplyDeleteThere is a bad period for people who have dementia as they alternate between two worlds but once they are firmly in the world of dementia, they seem happier and more content and the anger disappears, although it is often not nice to see them in such a state.
I can only think after reading the spoon theory is allow yourself to slide into old age and don't fight it. Do what you have do, do what you can do, do what you choose to do, but the only important one is do what you have to do.
Andrew I think it is in all our natures to fight the dying of the light. Light being metaphorical. Some days I say no and back away, other days I am greedy for the old energy and over commit myself. A difficult balance.
DeleteRather than anger of those who are slipping into dementia I believe it is frustration, the memory loss, the inability to follow simple instructions like a dryer or washing machine. It must be awful to be so confounded by formerly automatic abilities.
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I had no idea dementia could come on suddenly, always thought it was a gradual thing. It's sad when it happens either way.
ReplyDeleteIt truly is River and absolutely frightening for those so afflicted.
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Luckily most of the people I know are unaffected by dementia, but my mum was going that way when she died, my mother-in-law is affected, and my father-in-law died of vascular dementia. No idea what causes sudden-onset dementia, but I do wonder what all the plastic particles we're unwittingly eating are doing to us. Are they just harmlessly expelled or do they mess up our brains and bodies?
ReplyDeleteRe energy levels, you can only do what your body is capable of. If that means some things are just too much and are not going to happen, so be it.
I guess part of me thinks I will miss out somehow on somethings or whatever. Thinking like this I need to fix and say no and mean it.
DeleteToday is a do nothing day which I am enjoying. It's been a while.
So much dementia around you Nick. I only had one grand-aunt so affected. They very aptly call it "The Long Goodbye". My friend L still texts me but her words are becoming more nonsensical and poorly strung together.
I believe our hearts keep getting broken over and over in old age.
I am gathering younger people around me.
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Huzzah for your gr-daughter! Quite an acheivement!
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan!
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Congratulations to your grand girl, her mother and you. I know how much it means to you and please remember that the next time she is in India, there is a warm welcome awaiting her in Pune.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your suddenly being hit with people with dementia. Recently, I too have learnt about three old friends who have been afflicted. As you say, I would rather not come to know about any more.
Thanks Ramana, I remember your generous offer when she was there before. Since then she has lived in Cambodia and Korea and is presently in Toronto. Well travelled for sure. It's an awful shock this dementia thing. Like death but different in that the dear ones are still breathing but not present in the old ways. I cry a lot over it. I know, useless, but there you have it.
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