I was up the road today to help a neighbour set up a website for her business. You'd think I knew what I was doing. Well, I knew more than her and was able to offer her a bit of assistance and load some photos and pricing and other bits and bobs.
It is wonderful to be thought of as some sort of techno genius. I am far from it, I assure you. I just know the highways and biways of the interwebz a little better than her.
Anyways, her hubbie is stretched out in his recliner at the other end of the room, exhausted, having mowed their meadow all day. He barely waves at me. He's a very good looking man with the manners of a turnip. Don't get me started.
They lost a son to brain cancer last year and I just made up my mind to be kinder than I used to be to them. Kindness doesn't cost a dime. And some need it more than others, right?
So there we are, I'm loading up some (awful) pictures to her site and I glance over at the teevee that he is nodding off to.
"Isn't that porn?" I ask her as I watch a couple contort themselves into those peculiar positions beloved by Hollywoodland - female appendages in full throttle, male's discreetly entwined in blankies. Everything hanging, banging and howling.
"Whut?" she says, barely glancing at the screen, "Oh that? Johnny needs it to go to sleep."
ROFL ...i think i remember them ...is this the lady that expected you to drop everything when she called?
ReplyDeleteIt takes all kinds and you sure do meet them!
ReplyDeleteCC:
ReplyDeleteGood spot, yes that's the one! He's the eejit that phones me (drunk) to tell me he's "batching" it when she's away.
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Well, these have been up my nose for quite a while, GM.
ReplyDeleteIts' easy to be kind to lovely people but these two are sent to try me.
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I don't know why you bother, WWW. Your kindness is obviously wasted on them.
ReplyDeleteLike I say Irene, it is easy to be kind to nice people. Harder to the not so nice.
ReplyDeleteAnd this post has been written while I laugh and laugh....
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Betcha it was the porn that wanked him out not the mowing.
ReplyDeleteYour comment about about being kind to nice people etc. is so true.
Oh ya I am now enlightened.
GFB:
ReplyDeleteI didn't glance at him after her comment. In case: Ewwww.
He strikes me as a man quite beyond it.
I'm still laughing thinking about it. The human race is full of surprises.
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Well, I've heard of a few insomnia cures but never that one. Still, it's encouraging to know there are men who find porn so boring it just sends them to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI can think of a few people with the manners of a turnip as well....
"Johnny needs it to go to slep"
ReplyDelete....As Bubba Clinton once said (sort of) "It depends what "it" is."
I can just see the scenario you describe as a Monty Python sketch with Eric Idle playing the woman you were helping, complete with curlers in hair and droopy stockings. :-D
Nick:
ReplyDeleteExactly, I found it a completely asexual scene and I just loved her careless shrug.
51 years married.
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T:
ReplyDeleteThat is why I still giggle thinking of it. She's as round as a bowling ball and he's this type of aging lothario-matinee idol (in looks only)with absolutely zero sophistication.
Definitely a good skit there.
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There's a lot of negative attitude towards turnips on this blog. What's a turnip ever done to you? I've always found them a very agreeable vegetable. I've never had a harsh word from a turnip.
ReplyDeleteNow carrots, well, that's a different matter. Don't talk to me about carrots!
I love your attitude here. And you are funny!
ReplyDeleteI personally would keep my distance from people like that, but maybe I'm missing a bet!
I'm personally rooting for bagas, RJA.
ReplyDeleteAnd garrott all carrots.
No just kidding. Good for the sight and my mother swore they would give you curly hair.
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Hattie:
ReplyDeleteOh I did try to keep my distance, trust me, but they are hapless, sort of stunned. And oblivious to manners and courtesy which be just nuisances in the way of what they want. Hard to explain.
I find I tolerate them better once I accepted them and practised a bit of kindness.
I've never know any two people more disinterested in the world around them.
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Oh Hattie correction:
ReplyDeleteShe did say as I left
"Did anyone ever tell you you have a very nice a**?"
See what I mean?
Clueless.
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Well, look at it this way: kindness is its own reward. You got at least one post out of it, and you can probably dine out on it for some time to come!
ReplyDeleteAnne:
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the laughs I get, even thinking about it. It truly is a privilege to see how other people live and what they tolerate.
I am mindful of how judgemental I can be and move to correct it.
(i.e. in a "bless them, change me" mode)
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What a picture to add to the post!
ReplyDeleteIf that is all that the watching of porn does to him, I support your decision to be extra kind to them.
To lighten up your day, I shall send you a short video by mail. Something that I was reminded of seeing the picture in your post.
You're certainly racking up that good karma.
ReplyDeleteFor some people it's the sound of someone else's voice that puts them to sleep.
For at least one person I know - it was the sound of his own voice that did it - including one occasion when he was presenting a radio programme. I never tire of hearing it.
Maybe they're looking for a threesome!
ReplyDeleteR:
ReplyDeleteFor a guy who's tried to put the move on me I think the reality would be positively reeking with disappointment!
Didn't get your video??
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BWT:
ReplyDeleteCould be that guy I saw on a TV clip that literally fell asleep when he was reading the news!
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Oh gawd Joared, as the young 'uns say :You made me throw up in my mouth with that one!.
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