There is so much I want to do right now but I am completely engulfed in the work that pays my bills. Nearly.
I think a combination of age and a desire to be doing OTHER STUFF is the major burden I'm working under. I tire easily and lengthily. I neglect self-care. My writing life is shoved to the side. I rarely get out and take art photos. I want to experiment with some photographic software. I briefly jot down some knitting designs. Oh to execute!
I was sending off - by mail, how quaint - one of my cards to a friend who has been diagnosed with a mass in her lung. She quit smoking too late. And get this - she was an emergency room nurse. I've known her an awfully long time. She was married lots before she outed herself, having surprised herself immensely by falling in love with a woman late in life. She had great movie and Scrabble parties. And you'd think that would be all there is to her, right? Well, no.
You see about twenty years ago she went off to Africa for two years. Her mission? Both to prevent and heal clitorectomies. How many of us can say that we made one small change in the world that would go on and on and on? Well, she did.
She did.
And do you know what she said to me, among lots of other positive stuff today on the phone?
"I'm ready to go if that is my next step. I've had a bloody marvellous life".
I felt immensely cheered after the phonecall. I was expecting tears and grief for I love this woman.
I looked around the scads of files, the mountains of paperwork.
I thought: one file at a time, duckie, one file at a time.
And be glad of it.
What a brave and complex lady she must be WWW. I wish her whatever is best for her physical and mental comfort.
ReplyDeleteAs for your goodself - here's a wise idea:
“Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.”
Douglas Pagels
Oh gosh a pot of gold would be lovely T but I find myself late in life with too much life and too little income.
ReplyDeleteA state very familiar to us solo women who raised families alone and were caught dollar short at the end.
It is necessity unless I choose to sell my home but I hope to generate income from here when the Tigeen is finished (gordon is away and this has delayed the process immensely).
XO
WWW
PS and thanks for that rainbow quote. Lovely.
You are very fortunate to have such a friend in your life and it is very sad that you are losing her. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Like somebody I would like to know. Don't forget that you are also living a wonderful life that we look on with admiration. xox
ReplyDeleteIrene:
ReplyDeleteYes, I had many years of friendship and delight and discovery with her but I feel a little sad that a few years ago when I had too many visitors coming I had to say no to a trip she wanted to make here. :(
Sometimes it's the last time.
XO
WWW
Good for her doing something about the appalling clitorectomy tradition. And if I had a possibly terminal illness I would say the same - I've had a good life and I'm ready to go.
ReplyDeleteIt's very frustrating when there's so much we want to do and not enough time to do it all. I guess you just have to prioritise the things you're really really passionate about.
Hey WWW, if it weren't income work it would be some other d*** thing. Right about now I'm having the same thoughts about home maintenance type work, gotta do it, hate it, rather be doing other stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't it awful when you put off some nice thing (your friend's proposed visit) only to find out it was yer last chance at it? Know that one too. We are doomed I tell you, we are just all doomed! Lol.
A remarkable lady your friend. I have been ready to go for quite some time now WWW, I too have had a grand life and have no great unfulfilled desires left. My maker is not quite ready for me and that is frustrating not that I continue to have an interesting life.
ReplyDeletei hope i say the same damn thing.
ReplyDeleteWas there something strange in the air last week? I was actually talking along the same line about if my end was close to hand. I might be missed for a wet week and then life would soon get back to normal as it should.
ReplyDeleteTake time to smell the roses and be good to yourself.