Saturday, June 30, 2012
I'll write of the good stuff first:
One of the highlights of the summer is that Grandgirl is coming here for a month. I never expected this. She will be 18 this coming October and off to university in September. I am over the moon about it as she will see two performances of the play and we can hang out as we normally do.
I'm off to a surprise 60th birthday party tonight which should be fun. We're going to celebrate the birthday of a 'new' friend who is more like family to me. Serendipitous is this rare circumstance when one meets someone and knows right away. In my case it was the right place at the right time. She had just gone through a terrible upheaval at her longterm workplace. I was able to share a similar equally devastating experience I'd had in a workplace years ago and could offer concrete support and advice. Hire a lawyer being the first piece of it.
I've taken on too much and this is the downside of my life right now. Daughter and a long term friend said to me that I've again lost the ability to say 'no' when others ask me to take on a 26 week commitment which holds no interest for me whatsoever and will bleed my energy and will demand skills which repel me - and also being with others excessively. I do not play well with others when they are too much with me. I need a lot of alone time. More than most. I resent intrusions into my creative space and taking on others' ideas of where that can go. No. No. And NO. I am rehearsing the word.
I was reminded of what I love to do. Being creative and in my bliss. Deciding when and where I can be in community with others (and I am surprised by how little I do need outside community stimulation). I'm self driven for the most part. I think other artists are with me on this. Solitude is a balm.
It took me a while but I am cancelling the daily newspaper which occasionally publishes me. Why? I counted the negative articles in the last while. Nearly all. I can almost feel my blood pressure rising as I read an old fart's half page on why feminism has destroyed the world. Seriously. His main point? We are finding fulfilment in outside interests and refusing to breed, thus endangering all countries as decreasing populations can't sustain them. Seriously. This moron has obviously not heard of our existing rampant population growth which endangers the world and starves millions abd millions of children? And he gets a full half page to enrage women and thinking readers?
You can see in some areas I am an extraordinarily slow learner.
And that's /30 from me.